Monday, September 9, 2013

Preventing Suicides

Why does a human being kill himself?It must be a very tough decision.A lot of courage,sorrow,anguish,disillusionment,hopelessness and helplessness must go to consolidate it.A veritable whirlpool of worry,misery & loneliness can suck out the will to live.
While it is true that some people commit suicide on the spur of the moment driven by an extreme emotion,most suicides are pre-meditated and pre-planned.It is not as if the pain or distress suffered by the suicidal is unique--many others must have lived through similar situations--but the person who opts for suicide finds it impossible to go on.What is it that differentiates the one from the other and how can we prevent suicides?

Let us start from the very beginning.If we give proper love and protection to a child when it is born,help him to blossom in a healthy environment,nurture in him a healthy self-esteem,do not cosset him unduly, and impose valid restrictions upon unreasonable whims or wayward tendencies;then it is very likely that he will grow up to be a responsible adult,capable of tolerating any adversity or misfortune which might befall him.

On the other hand if we rush around fulfilling his slightest wish, he will not be able to take refusals or disappointments in his stride.Every child,as he grows up,should be gently exposed to the truth that obstacles and down turns are also a part of life.

Every parent wants his child to excel and be a high achiever but it is a folly to burden him with unrealistic expectations, or ridicule him for a lapse or a failure.He should be assured of his family's unconditional love & support even if he is a mediocre.

If everyone had a family or at least caring friends the world would have been a much happier place,but sadly,this is not the case.There are many lonesome souls bowed down with the weight of mental/physical illness or personal/worldly problems,trying their best to stave off killing themselves as long as they can.Who will care for them?Counselors' desks at schools,colleges and work places can change the picture.You and I too,can do our bit by extending a helping hand when we see someone staggering.


One who is entrenched in a net-work of loving relationships has better chances of weathering a storm.It is not the quantum of sorrow which drives a person to the wall,but the lack of any redeeming feature in a bleak landscape.A shoulder to cry on,a parent,spouse or a sibling to boost morale,a friend to hold hand,a professional to counsel or merely act as a sounding board--these are the factors which can turn the tide in favor of life.

September 10 being the World Suicide Prevention Day i give the following links to bring other aspects of this pressing problem on the same page:--
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/04/suicidal-thoughts.html
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/07/suicide-dreaded-word.html
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2010/10/there-is-hope-only-if-there-is-life.html

Images courtesy google.

35 comments :

  1. Very truly said Indu ji...slowly they have to be exposed to truth and the fact that their family and friends will always be their for them...otherwise the consequences are very hard to face...

    PS: I woke from a short nap and saw an update from "Jeete raho" with the title to the post related to "Suicides"...you made me read all of it immediately making me give the break to my usual stuff...

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    1. Very happy to see you here cynosure.Thanks for giving your time to my scribblings,glad you liked them.

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    2. Its always a pleasure to read your post ma'am...
      I must confess that I'm very lazy and very-very irregular in commenting...but never miss any of your posts... :)

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  2. I did not know this--you just made my day....smiles galore !!!!!

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  3. suicides are two kinds,

    1.people who don’t have choice other than death coz they are in a situation after being morally right and wise all through their life where their loved one’s too are not bothered about his/her death situation that was created out of everyone’s opportunistic/selfish approach towards life.these people are not cowards,they have led life with clarity from childhood ,these people are as wise as sigmund freud,socrates,plato. death to these people is peace from unnatural world.everyone don’t live for the sake of it,they don’t live for food and money,they live with passion and end when there is no further purpose in life.

    2.ignorant and immature people who don’t have clarity in life from childhood coz of bad parenting and environment around them.these suicides are out of stupidity.

    you can't prevent suicides of first kind above coz you don't have reason or capacity to stop a sensible suicide.we should make euthanasia legal all over world,so that people can die peacefully after a panel of psychologists,sociologists and psychiatrists clears one's case.we should have a single institution with centres all over country to deal with suicides and euthanasia coz we can prevent certain suicides and we can assist certain deaths so that people and families don't get embarrassed with suicide deaths.

    we can't keep society morally right,people are not ready to be morally right,so it doesn't make sense to prevent suicide of morally right person.i recommend euthanasia and suicide preventing centres all over country to deal deaths sensibly.

    suicides of first kind are rarest of rare i have seen in modern society,sensible suicides are one in 100 million people.

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    1. Rohan thanks for taking so much time to air your vies on the subject.I only wish that everyone is able to lead a rich fulfilling life.

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    2. most of the time, i do copy and paste of my own comments coz i wrote on these topics before and few years back..

      if you have patience and interest in reading very long comments,you can read every line in the below link.i hope you will give up spiritual websites like speaking tree after reading my lines.

      http://www.speakingtree.in/evannikaloivich

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    3. most of the time i do copy and paste of my own writings coz i wrote on these topics before and few years back.

      if you have patience and interest in reading long comments,you can read every line in the below link.i hope you will give up spiritual websites like speaking tree after reading below stuff.

      http://www.speakingtree.in/evannikaloivich

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    4. Rohan i am writing a post just now but i will surely read this link,thank you.

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  4. What you mentioned is exactly true Indu Ji..In today's world we need to have the courage to accept failure,disappointments but generally that is not the case many young people give up on life when they come across slightest problems it is so because what they feel is that their family or their friends don't care for them but they fail to realise that this act of their would put their near and dear ones in so much despair and it is also the responsibility of the families to extend support when they see some family members in distress but at last I would like to say Suicide is a very Cowardly at and those with faint heart choose this step,We get to live only once so why should we choose a path that is not justified..

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  5. Thank you for sharing this informative post. As a parent, I often wonder (like all parents do) how much of 'Yes' do we need to say to our children, how much of 'No' is healthy. How much we should let kids be, how much we can pamper them, how much we can yell at them, and is it okay to raise our hand at them, etc etc. I think the answer is that there is no clear answer; it depends.
    I only hope that amidst all the chaos that goes on at home daily, our children understand how much we love and care about them.

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    1. First of all Jeena,welcome aboard.The questions niggling you, trouble every parent as you have pointed out.Yes ,rearing children is like walking on razors edge.You yourself have given the answer as before,that there can be no fixed rules.

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  6. It is true that when a person feels unloved he sees no charm in life,but Harsha taking one's own life also requires a lot of courage---though of the wrong sort.
    Thank you for taking time to read & tell us your views.

    Btw the pics on your post do not click.i wonder why.

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  7. Thoughtful post! Failures are part of the life and it is important how much we take in that failure in the right spirit. Also, it is crucial to make failure seem as a continuation to move on , a stepping stone to betterment and not something to be seen as an end. It all depends on how we perceive ourselves.

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  8. Uma you have said it nicely in a nut-shell-thanks a ton.

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  9. Maut se pahle jo mar jaate hain unse poocho zindgi aadmi pe keya keya sitam dhaati hai.
    To day yes today itself I had plans to runaway from home. I wrote a suicide note in my diary, signed at 2.00 PM. and watched TV before sleeping.
    One who decides on such extreme step is either confused or crack like me.
    I just Read your Blog.
    Good. Regards. ( If it not getting personal CHIBBER is my Maternal side Jagdev Sahai Chibber,of Ludhiana Punjad was my MAMA JI. World is too small May be we are 2nd or 3rd cousins) BEST REGARDS AGAIN YOU CAN ALSO WRITE ON ramesh8999@gmail.com.

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  10. Hi Ramesh,glad to know you..yes we Mohyals love to connect with each other-thanks for telling me.
    Now about this crucial issue...see you did not run away(i hope) and how are you feeling now?Are you relieved or do you still want to escape...leaving home is no big deal,if you are not happy there,go where you will be happy...but decide first where you will live,how you will sustain yourself and what you will do to better your life.

    No tragedy or disaster or disappointment can be larger than life,if you live on,there is always a chance that you will see better times--right?

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  11. I don't know what exactly to say. But I knew few people in my life who committed suicides. Thank god, how many ever worse situations I face in life, I never thought of the suicide attempt. May be I think I am too timid to do that too :)I wish people thought a second thought in a different perspective before thinking to end their lives.

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    1. How ever far removed a person who committed suicide,it is very painful to think of him/her.Life comes with both shades-light and dark-without one,the other would be meaningless.

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  12. God's grace and blessings, never interacted with anyone who went ahead and committed suicide. I feel very sad reading all about this in newspapers. I am again reminded of Jiah.

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  13. A close friend of mine committed suicide about 5 years back due to serious financial problems. The issue, however, was that none of us knew about the problems he had.

    One of the most important reasons for adult suicides is not a lack of a shoulder to cry on but that misguided notion that to cry on someone's shoulders is a sign of weakness - this is more often a male problem.

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    1. "One of the most important reasons for adult suicides is not a lack of a shoulder to cry on but that misguided notion that to cry on someone's shoulders is a sign of weakness - this is more often a male problem."

      Perhaps that is why more males than females commit suicide.But going back to your friend-if he could not lower his guard in front of friends he could have gone to a professional.

      More females than males attempt suicide but more males actually succeed.In their case causes are different.

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  14. Nobody should have to go through so much grief that they are compelled to take their life. It's even worse for the loved ones they leave behind.

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  15. Very useful to parents who have to nurture their kids in proper direction.

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  16. Frankly speaking suicide is something that can be accepted if the individual is under going pain (physical pain) like some terminal illness from which he / she has no respite.
    Mental grief / can't cope / trauma / all these are lame excuses.
    I mean you have one life on this planet earth. Once you end it, its finish, kaput, the end !!!! There is no second chance.

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  17. Thank you Haddock for reading and giving your considered opinion.

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  18. People opting for suicides are in the bottom most state of their minds and as you rightly said a little help and an open talk would go a long way in preventing them. Its sad to read in newspapers about small kids and teenagers taking their lives for silly reasons like sibling rivalry or failing an exam.

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    1. True,while every suicide is a tragedy,it is doubly painful when small kids do it.

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  19. suicide is the height of depression and loneliness Indu ji ---its so important that one should be able to share his/her feelings --I feel you and your organization--SAHYOG-- are doing a commendable job by giving time and lending your ears to the lonely---hats off and thanks

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  20. I have posted a poem on lonliness after reading this article of yours --please do visit

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    1. Rajni i hope i have been able to make a difference where suicides are concerned-it is terrible to feel unloved and un-cared for.Thanks for your encouragement.
      Time for morning tea now,i will surely catch up with your poem.
      Love n hugs.

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Thanks for reading my post.I hope you liked it :).