Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Worry

Life would be sheer bliss if there were no worries to weigh us down.But this is neither possible nor desirable because worries warn us of looming dangers,stimulate action and aid problem solving.But if carried to the extreme,this habit can result in insomnia,fears,debility,inaction,panic and nervous breakdowns.Those who have a proclivity for excessive thinking,imagination,perfection or lack confidence in their abilities can end up as habitual worriers.Most of them know that this habit is injurious and unrealistic but there are also some who believe it protects them from dangers.If you wish to be rid of it you should first convince yourself that it is unproductive and you shall be better off without it.

Whenever you catch yourself worrying about something,consider the following posers:--

*If you are worrying about something which happened in the past--can you redo the it by worrying yourself to bits?

*Is the problem real or imaginary--stemming from your fears or past experiences?

"My life has been full of terrible misfortunes,most of which never happened"Michel de Montaigne.

*Does it's severity match the quantum of your worry?You are not catastrophizing,are you?

*small event breeds a slew of dire consequences--are you not making irrational,unrealistic predictions?

*If this matter is not relevant to your life today why not avoid it?

*If it is in your interest to fight the problem, do you think worrying about it will do the trick?

*Does worrying about an imminent difficulty armor you or deplete your fighting spirit?

*There are problems which can be solved with positive thinking and determination;but there are also some--like natural disasters or accidents--which cannot be predicted.These have to be tackled when we come face-to-face with them.No amount of worry can protect us from them.

*Coming to problems which can be solved--why not spin your anxieties into an action plan to be rid of the nuisance?

"You can't wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time"Pat Schroeder.

*Do you have the requisite caliber and resources to tackle your problem?

*If not,then find out the most suitable agency which can help you out, instead of just worrying about it.

*If yes, then lay down the various steps you should take to solve your problem.Take them up one by one.

*If the worse comes to worst,a rush of adrenalin empowers us to fight the danger.Don't minimize your ability and maximize the difficulty.

I am sure many worriers must often have posed these questions to themselves many a times but failed to shake off this habit.It is possible that what really gnaws at their insides is a deep seated emotional turmoil which their subconscious mind does not allow to come up and all this worrying is only a camouflage for it.Only the person concerned can explore his psyche or take help, to reach the crux of the problem.Until this is done real peace will be evasive.

Your personality also plays a major role in precipitating worries.Don't always be on your toes to please everyone,to be perfect,or to be ready for any eventuality.Relax,take it easy.Shun kill-joys and find time for some entertainment.

Train your mind to warn you whenever you slip into the worry mode,pinch yourself hard and change tracks.You can also ask your dear ones to check you when they see you going into a trance.Do some relaxation exercises like meditation or yoga.

A person who worries too much tends to also worry about matters which are not his direct concern.These could extend from social,cultural and political issues to existential questions.Life is not a roller-coaster ride for anyone today and we shall be happier if we did not add additional burden to our minds.It is necessary to filter out anxieties which do not relate directly to us.

Make a note of the time slots in which you have intense worrying sessions.Find out an absorbing activity to fill those time slots.When the body is inactive the worry worm becomes active.

If you are a believer then there should be absolutely no cause for worry because He will take care of you;and if you are not, then have faith in your own abilities.

Image from iliketoquote.com

18 comments :

  1. Loved the article Indu. Valid points. I worry a lot and sometimes as you said about non existing imaginary problems. Meditation helps a great deal. Another thing is channeling ones mind into something productive or creative like painting or poetry. It really does wonders .

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    1. Yes Jaish,diverting the mind is helpful.I am glad you liked the post.

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  2. Worry, Indu, by definition is anxiety about something that you have no control over OR think you have no control over - in my lexicon. It is totally infructuous because you only stress yourself with thoughts of what if this happens, what if that happens without anything productive that you can do to mitigate the impact. The moment you CAN plan to do things to ameliorate your situation, you get an illusion of control and the thing ceases to be a worry.

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  3. Indu ji
    there was a time when I used to worry a lot ----specially over spilt milk ---Now I care two hoots jo ho gaya woh ho gaya it can't be undone ---and I am happier and the people around are happier too :)

    thanks a lot Indu ji

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    1. That was a very smart thing to do Rajni and it must have taken time and perseverance :)
      Love n hugs!

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  4. I agree,most of the worry is not only unproductive but also harmful.

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  5. Trying, Indu, trying! Loved the pointers:)

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    1. Oh my!This has given me a good laugh :D
      Thank you Zephyr-love n hugs to you!!!

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  6. I agree with what you have written. The quote is meaningful too. Alas, worry is quite useless and futile yet we can't really stop worrying, can we?

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    1. Thanks Rachna for this:)
      Lots of love.

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  7. Worry is a realty of life.
    It depends at what stage of life one is in.
    Worries of a college student,that of an executive,that of a parent are all different.
    More important is...how do you handle it.

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    1. A rare insight Chowla jee--small worries at young age(at least that is how it SHOULD be);but sometimes even children are burdened with harrowing worries.
      As we grow up the worries gather weight.True,how we handle them makes all the difference.

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  8. "worries warn us of looming dangers,stimulate action and aid problem solving." Good point. We need them to keep us alert.

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  9. I personally believe that we learn something from each of those experiences and instances, rather than just calling them worries, they can be called life's adventures as they mould us and help us handle the vagaries of life.

    I've tried not to worry over things which have upset me, coz as you said, if its done and nothing can be done, its not worth worrying about.

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    1. Aswhini life's vagaries do impart lessons but only if we move on,like you say.Dwelling upon them serves no purpose.

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  10. Writing has helped me deal with needless worry and anxiety. A hobby or a passion helps. Good one again Indu.

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    1. Thank you Alka,your praise made my day.I have seen those without a hobby ruminating excessively.

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Thanks for reading my post.I hope you liked it :).