The marriage season is in full swing but a lot of caution should be exercised before one ties the knot.Premarital counseling can help the prospective couple to avoid a mis-matched marriage and the heart-ache of a divorce.Considering this i sent an article to Kota Plus supplement of TOI which was published on 7th Nov 2014.I reproduce a copy of it below:---
A Happy Marriage
Marriage season is fast approaching.Every couple gets into matrimony envisioning a happy, life-long partnership, but it is a sad commentary on our times that incidents of divorce are rising.Problems arise because two individuals coming from different backgrounds,having their own dreams,expectations and value systems, are thrown together and often fail to reconcile themselves to those differences. If only they could know in advance what the other person expects from them and whether or not they can fulfill those expectations,it could save them a lot of heart-ache.One way of avoiding a failed marriage is to go for pre-marital counseling.It will enable the couple to be aware of the pitfalls which could possibly crop up and enable them to plan their future accordingly.The prospective bride and groom should both attend it together.
Here are some pointers for such a session:---
- Are you happy with this match?
- What do you expect from your partner?Do you know what s/he expects from you?Can you/do you want to,fulfill those expectations?
- Do your value systems match?Which is that one quality with which you will not compromise?
- If you follow different religions, will both of you have the liberty to follow your own religion?
- Will you live in a joint family or a nuclear one?
- Does the girl have the choice to build up her career or be a home maker if she likes?
- If she takes up a job,will she have the freedom to keep her money,or help her parents;or will she be expected to put her money in the joint kitty?If the boy is transferred to another city will the wife be forced to leave her job and follow him? Will they share the details of their earnings and investments with each other?
- Will the boy discuss major issues with his wife before taking a decision?
- Do they have similar views on when and how many children they should have?Suppose one of them is infertile,what shall their course of action be in that case?If they belong to different religions,then whose religion will the child follow?
- Are they both medically clean and compatible--in terms of HIV or Rh factor?
Pre-marital counseling enables the couple to judge if they are on the same wave-length so that if the chasm is impassable the marriage can be shelved.It is best to make a wise decision rather than sticking to a wrong one when the prospects of a harmonious union look bleak.