Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Get Rid of That # Inferiority Complex

Inferiority Complex,as we all know, is a feeling of being inadequate or not up to the mark.It is responsible for a lot of anguish and dissatisfaction with life.It manifests itself in different persons in different ways.If one person lives out his life as an underachiever believing himself to be incapable of attaining lofty targets another may overcompensate by doing just that in order to prove his worth.A third may become asocial and reticent,while the fourth may resort to aggression;controlling others to establish his supremacy.It is only in the second case that it has a positive consequence but even there, a feeling of inferiority will continue to niggle that person.
The causes
An inferiority complex is often caused by early childhood experiences like being criticized,compared,bullied,or called names.Social discrimination on the basis of a handicap,physical weakness,caste,creed,color or socioeconomic status can also give rise to feelings of inferiority.

A new entrant in this litany of causative factors is the social media,with it's focus on beauty,attraction,perfection,achievement,success and wealth.Day in and day out we are bombarded with airbrushed images of celebrities and social idols which make many of us feel dowdy,plain losers.Updates of friends purportedly having storybook lifestyles also generate feelings of lagging behind.Then there is cyber bullying which can injure a person to the core.

The harmful effects
A feeling of inferiority can be very pernicious,it can vitiate every aspect of a person's life.

When a person feels he is not intelligent,competent or able enough, he evades difficult/challenging situations which could in fact,have augmented his confidence.

A person who has low self-worth behaves as if he is of no consequence and others too rate him accordingly, so that he is actually consigned to the lower rungs.

He is seen as an easy target by predators who may leach upon him to serve their own ends.

He is likely to attract others like himself,who will further intensify his complex and demoralize him with their doleful talks and behavior.

His self-limiting beliefs prevent him from asking for his dues, so that he does not get the rewards which are his right.This further disheartens him.

Inferiority complex causes unhappiness,we all know;but it can also engender mental disorders.
The cure
If any of the above rings a bell with you,take immediate steps to overcome your feelings of inferiority.It is not difficult to do so,only a genuine desire and concerted efforts are all that is needed.

Start by going to the origin of this complex.Who was it that repeatedly made you feel inferior?

Was it your parents?Perhaps they had no knowledge of good parenting or they had too much on their plates.People make mistakes.Do not take their pronouncements as golden truths.

If it is your teachers or peers who picked upon you, they were certainly not good specimens of humanity and their actions need to be derided,not accepted as being the offshoots of your inferiority.

If it is your socioeconomic background which makes you feel below par then take a look at the origins of our late ex-president Dr Abdul Kalam the missile man.A beginning is only a beginning-you can go anywhere from that.If he could do it so can you.

If some other handicap holds you back then there is only one way to banish it--rise above it by being proficient in whatever you do.

If you feel miserable because of your physique or physical features,a lot of improvement can be brought about by being tidy and well groomed.Your worth is tied up to your inner qualities.Just consider-do you cherish your loved ones because of their looks or their values?Appearances are not everything.Would you prefer to spend your time with a loving,considerate but plain looking friend or a smart,beautiful but callous one?

Before taking any further steps to overcome your feelings of inferiority pinpoint exactly what you think is missing in your personality.Is it good looks,wealth,social graces,status,intelligence or competence which you secretly yearn for but do not possess?Take up that one aspect which,if improved,will make you happier; and begin to work on it.There is always room for improvement.Even your intellectual abilities can be sharpened by playing brain games or doing meditation.

We usually focus upon one flaw and then enlarge it to cover the whole of our being,forgetting our assets.If you bemoan the absence of a particular quality,concentrate on your strong point and enhance it till everything else fades into oblivion.Maybe you are a good singer but not attractive to look at,but if you polish this talent nobody will even notice your looks, as is the case with Lata mangeshkar.

It is mainly your self-talk which determines your self esteem.Train your mind to warn you the moment you pass derogatory judgments about yourself and replace them with constructive,positive thoughts.

Another way of improving your self image is to associate with only those who understand,appreciate and care for you.Relinquish those who try to belittle you.

And lastly,sharpen your observational skills when you are in company.Notice how those whom you hold in high esteem also have weak points,they also falter.The only difference is that they are easygoing while you are on tenterhooks because of this fixation that you are inferior to others.

Stop comparing yourself to others.It is this which is the root cause of feelings of low self worth.There is not one of us who will not be found wanting in some quality or the other,if he were to compare himself with others.

Those who have a poor self image only notice others'good points and not their weaknesses;while they magnify their own drawbacks.These self limiting beliefs hinder our evolution and fulfill that prophecy of being inferior.No matter where you stand in social hierarchy,you have a definite place and unique gifts.Instead of lamenting about your drawbacks,do something about them and appreciate what God has blessed you with.

Related posts:--
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2015/01/do-you-love-yourself.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/12/raise-your-self-esteem-in-leven-easy.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/01/self-esteem.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2011/01/looking-roe-self-confidence.html

Images courtesy google.

26 comments :

  1. Hi Indu, I read this article step by step and want to share that A.P.J. Kalam were not only a missile mam but also inseparable for specially youngster who have great ability to make digital India or world. Even, whenever I feel tired or something like this, I read quotes by written the Great missile man A.P.J. Kalam. Thanks for share!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seema welcome to jeeteraho.
      What you say is very true--after swami Vivekanand he is the only fit role model for youth.

      Delete
  2. Great write up.Thanks for sharing.Everyone Is unique In their own special way.All they need is to discover their strengths and concentrate on that to overcome.

    Cheers,

    Sriram & Krithiga


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SriKri you are welcome.I am glad you liked what i wrote.

      Delete
  3. Tell me about it - too late though to correct it for me :)

    Seriously, though, an inferiority complex builds when you look at a perceived flaw in you from so close that it seems to be ALL there is to your personality. Step back and see it in proportion and you will see it as insignificant.

    ReplyDelete
  4. A good inspiring lesson. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hats Off to you for touching on a very very important topic ----90 % of us suffer from feeling of inferiority in comparison to others ---and most often than not it is our parents who are the reason behind this feeling of self low esteem ---as they are for feeling of superiority too ---Thus Indu ji parents play the most important part in building a persons character they should be very very cautious and the one thing to be avoided is COMPARISON with others in any form -------one more thing Indu ji I would like to say and here I am differing a bit from what you have written I find the social media very helpful in making one realize ones potential ---as it gives you many avenues to express yourself and to discover yourself too ----hope you are getting the gist of what I am trying to say



    how are the rains there ? hope evrything is fine and under control
    regards
    rajni

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is true parents play a significant role in forming the child's character, as you say.But one is not so wise when the need to be so is greatest,at least i was not.Now i can see where i faltered.There are many pressures on mind when the family is young--no?
      Yes Rajni social media is a big help in the areas you have recounted so well---write about it !
      Thankfully,Kota is now cooler ,the rains are good too.All else is OK.
      Love n hugs.

      Delete
    2. agree with you Indu ji ---everything is always not easy its easier said than done ---specially parent child relationship ----Life's like that
      regards
      and love

      Delete
  6. Wonderful post...we are only bound by what we think of ourselves, in general. Everybody is different and if we feel we are lacking in some respects that can be made up for using some other means as well.

    Your tips are practical and work perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true Alok,thanks for this fulsome praise .

      Delete
  7. What an inspiring post - we are all unique in one way or the other. More often than not, it's our own mind who creates all kinds of self limiting stories which then starts coming in the way of our performance. Loved the example of Lata Mangeshkar - truly nails the point.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Arti,i am so glad you found it praiseworthy.Yes we are often our own enemy.

      Delete
  8. You discuss about a problem, causes and solutions so clearly....Inspiring post Indu :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sri Valli,thanks for this lovely praise.
      Have a nice day.

      Delete
  9. It's scary to think how thoughtless adults can emotionally scar a child for life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No doubt small things can lead to big consequences.
      Thank you Purba:)

      Delete
  10. Such a demoralizing and a demotivating factor this inferiority complex is. At least as adults we know what it is and we can take steps to handle it, but when kids are made to feel that way coz of over-ambitious parents, God knows how they'll cope. Yes, sometimes I feel inferior too. I introspect where I can work towards whatever I'm feel low about, or whether that is not possible for me. Either way I've realized how it can be 10x times harmful than what is actually is. Such a negative thought that is.

    Thanks for writing and sharing this post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it is very demoralizing .I am glad you liked my post Ashwini.

      Delete
  11. Everyone possesses some special talent or skill. If we keep on pointing at the weaker aspects of a person, certainly inferiority complex would grope in deeper.

    An inspiring article, Indu, as always... :-)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading my post.I hope you liked it :).