Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Switching from a Despondent Disposition to a Cheerful one :-)

Our disposition controls the way we think,feel and behave.Dictionary.com defines disposition as 'the predominant or prevailing tendency of one's spirits;natural mental and emotional outlook and mood;' or 'characteristic attitude'.Obviously it is of prime importance in determining the direction and quality of our lives.

It is very natural to be disheartened by an adverse event.When a few such events come close together it becomes difficult to be bullish and buoyant.But for some of us it takes very little to push us into the depths of despair,and dejection becomes a dominant quality of our nature.We lose interest in everything,do not converse with family or friends,can't even muster a smile at the best of jokes and give a negative reply to every query or suggestion.

When we believe from the core of our heart that nothing good will ever happen to us,we give up constructive efforts and are so engrossed in malaise that we fail to notice promising openings or dismiss them as mere chimeras.Even if we pursue a lead,our defeatist attitude prevents us from going all out for success.It is as if our unconscious mind wants to prove us right.And lo,the prophecy is fulfilled.As a result,our belief in the hopelessness of our condition is reinforced and we become even more apathetic. 

A despondent temperament is injurious.It vitiates our personal,social and professional life.As if that was not enough,it also ruins our physical and mental health.There are bound to be valid reasons behind such a temperament but these blocks can be overcome and we can change our attitude through deliberate and persistent efforts.If you feel that you too can do with more enthusiasm in your nature then read on,here are some tips to take you there :--
                               Self-talk
Your self-talk is your constant companion and therefore the biggest controller of your moods.Consciously,regularly,appreciate and encourage yourself,applaud your past victories and affirm that you can earn more plaudits.Weaknesses?Everybody has them.It is in your hands to climb over them or hold them up as insurmountable barriers.
                              Conversations
Whenever you meet someone,talk about the good things which are happening around you.Appreciate the goodness in the other person.Never ever crib about what is wrong in your work place,society or neighborhood.It does not serve any purpose.It will only add to the blackness of your mood.If you make an effort you will be able to find many things you can be happy about.Talk about those.

In a similar vein,your response to a 'How are you?' should be a chirpy 'Good'.Those who start off on a litany of their woes,deepen their anxiety,worsen their mood and are subsequently shunned by others.Fake it and you will make it.
Friends
Associate with those who are optimistic and progressive.Their enthusiasm will motivate you to shed your ennui,view the future with hope and take positive steps to improve your lot.
Stimulants
The stuff you read,the songs you listen to,the movies and shows you watch;all these determine your mood.A downcast person automatically chooses the diversions which mirror his state of mind but this is the exact opposite of what he should be doing.When you go to a dark room you switch on the light;you do not draw the curtains and make it pitch dark.Watch comedy shows.Laughter they say,is the best medicine.

Life becomes much more pleasant and satisfying when we switch over to a cheerful disposition.Life being LIFE,there are occasions when it is impossible to retain one's composure.Even the toughest will find it hard to be calm in the face of certain circumstances.Tragedies and traumas are hard to get over and everybody has his or her own way of coming to terms with such events.But it is also essential to make sure that dejection does not become a permanent state of mind.If we keep the faith and look to the future with hope,the rest of the journey becomes easy and more satisfying.

Let me give you some tips for instant tranquility:--

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2014/03/mantras-for-instant-tranquillity.html

27 comments :

  1. Sage advice as usual. Had a doubt about the stimulants part though - don't they become addictive and make you flee real world more and more and seek solace there further worsening things in real world due to negligence?

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  2. If it was possible for someone to dodge his responsibilities and take the easy way out;i guess this could be the consequence.Thanks for pointing it out TF.Just shows we have to maintain a balance in everything.

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  3. Gratitude often helps in maintaining a positive outlook. All valid points though.

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    1. Yes,we forget to be grateful for what we HAVE.
      Thanks for this Alka.

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  4. A setback for the optimist evoke a "What went wrong this time?" To the pessimist, it is "This always happens to me." When you develop the idea that you are doomed to failure, your thoughts and actions will doom you to failure. You do not succeed in business by saying, "This product ought to be good. But, with my luck, every piece I sell will break down within two days" to the customers :)

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    1. You nailed it nicely Suresh.We write our own script.

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  5. Sadly, most people love talking about their miseries and make others miserable as well.

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    1. I agree. Empathizing with a friend when s/he is in real trouble is one thing,but listening to imaginary,self-inflicted or exaggerated woes day in and day out really tests one's patience.

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  6. I so loved this post. It is so important to have a positive attitude, not just for ourselves but also for those around us who matter!

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    1. Thank you Leena,this was a nice comment to read in the morning.

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  7. The post makes complete sense. Talking ceaselessly about own miseries makes us dwell longer in them than is required. Positive talk can pull us and others out of self pity mode.

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    1. I am very happy that you agree with me Somali.Thanks for reading:)

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  8. I remember reading your linked post and had loved it too. Despondency, depression, call it what you will, but unless one is able to take help from those who offer it, they will find it hard to get over it, especially if they don't have it in them to overcome the circumstances on their own. I guess this is also a symptom of depression, right? As you mentioned, getting over traumas takes time and one should take one's time to come out of it, but to remain in a trough for prolonged periods can wreak havoc on the physical and mental well being of one.

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    1. You are so right Zephyr.A depressed person finds it difficult to change his mindset and even more difficult to come out and seek help-sheer waste of one's life.Thanks a lot for sharing your deep insight as usual.
      Love n hugs.

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    2. Words of wisdom that come from Zephyr adds weight to this. Lovely post!

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    3. Zephyr is certainly an erudite lady.
      Thank you Rahul.

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  9. gratitude oh yes I am slowly learning how to do just that ..

    helpful hints mam thank you so much .. I will make sure to keep those in mind

    Bikram's

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    1. You are welcome Bikram.I am so glad you have found my post useful.
      Cheers!

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  10. Self talk , goading yourself towards positivity ---forget the old saying " fools go in where angels fear to tread " ( this is the most pessimistic saying doing the round s on earth )
    I believe in " there's always a next time ---and it is this one "
    as you know Indu ji and as you yourself have christened me my name is B positive

    lots of love
    getting ready for Diwali :) hope to make a lot of traditional sweets :)

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    1. It will certainly be very helpful to remember that there is always a next time.Very often we forget it and give in.
      Have a nice Diwali Rajni .Good morning and lots of love.

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  11. Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Jamshed welcome to jeeteraho,i hope you will like some other posts too.

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  13. I think your point on not dwelling in conversation on the negative is so important. It can really become a habit! And it does bring us down when we start to talk, discuss, dissect our problems endlessly. Funny too how those who are constantly negative are toxic in away because they just drag you down and their presence makes you so tired. I love having a positive but honest group of friends!

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    1. You said it Colleen.Just what I feel.Endless dissection of one's problems promotes self-pity and will one day shoo away others.

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  14. Just smiling alone can do wonders...think about what positive outlook can do.

    Inspiring post!

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