Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Cudgelled into Obedience--All facts no Fiction.

What could be the reason behind a decent 27 year old B.Tech boy smashing mobiles ,breaking his watch and even taking a swipe at his wife-though instantly regretting it?This is what brought him to my counselling centre.He was at the end of his tether.Anger and agitation were written all over his face.

No prodding was needed.He blurted out instantly'My father and his elder brother have destroyed my life.'He had planned to take the GMAT test but his elders conned him into getting engaged to a girl three years ago.He was even beaten up to comply.But he managed to break that tie after a few months.The girl in question attempted suicide.This plunged him into depression and he was treated for it by a psychiatrist who warned his father to not thrust any major decision upon him.

Despite this,the duo got him engaged to another girl after one year.He broke off that engagement too but six months later he was forced to marry a girl citing his grandfather's illness.The girl was not his equal intellectually or culturally--she had a village background,although she was a post graduate.So they were not happy.

After he had narrated all that was boiling inside him,I gave him suitable advice.When I followed up after a few months I came to know that he had gone to Delhi to prepare for his exam.

I hope they are better adjusted now.But his father and uncle did their best to mess up the lives of their son and three other girls.Obedience,children's compliance-at this cost?

Image courtesy shutterstock

20 comments :

  1. Oh no .. that is sad..

    my best wishes to the young man ...

    Bikram's

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    1. Yes,very sad.I appreciate your gesture.

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    1. Surprising,isn't it?

      Happy Diwali Suresh.

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  3. Thats so sad! Hope the boy is doing well now.

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    1. Yes Leena,i hope so too.I think about him but i just cannot barge in like that,without being contacted.

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  4. Ridiculous!!!
    Maryada purushottam Ram - everybody expects their son to be that!!!

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    1. Very strong reaction Rohan!Who knows what compelled him.In a family there are many aspects to be considered.
      With regard to his marriage,yes he again failed to be firm.He took the right decisions ultimately but very late.

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  6. I don't think someone can force someone else without the latter's will to comply. If he is independent and has a job, he could have shown some more guts. But he will learn, eventually. This is just a phase of life.

    Destination Infinity

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    1. It is not easy to oppose one's parents if the child has been conditioned from the very beginning to comply without raising any questions.He took courage in his hands but every time,rather late.

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  7. I think it has got to do with the upbringing. That;s the reason I dont involve others to take major decisions regarding my life, even if it is my parents. But again, I wont blame only the father and brother, he could have spoken to the girls and told them clearly he was not interested and he could have just refused to act according to the whims of others. But yea, it takes guts for that.

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    1. Yes it is upbringing without doubt.It killed his initiative.

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  8. I feel it's the father and the uncle who are more in need of psychiatric treatment.

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  9. So sad. I would have suggested him to be independent (far away from his home)...and try working on his family life!

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    1. Nice to know your view-point Alok,thanks.

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  10. A typical example of Indian parents and their obedient children ---not only marriage , even studies, career and job are determined by parents becaus ELDERS know Best -----age old dilemna --and what is worst even those who have been victims of this attitude do the same when it comes to the life of their children ---because again Parents and elders know best

    Indu ji you have again touched upon a very important problem

    love and regards

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    1. Yes Rajni,typical example!In the bygone years it did not matter much because even the children had few aspirations,but today it can be very damning.
      Love n hugs Rajni.

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