What makes one person happy,confident & optimistic;while another is sad and dissatisfied with life?To a large extent,I think it is our relationships which determine this.On one hand healthy relationships encourage & energize us to do well in life;while on the other,even when we face difficulties,it is our relationships which sustain us--giving us the stamina & motivation to carry on & try harder.
What if the relationships of a person are wonky but on the strength of his grit & caliber he manages to achieve a respectable position in his career and society?You cannot fail to notice such a man.There will be a frown on his face,and a bitter cynical attitude towards life.Our ties determine to a large extent,whether we are humane or robotic.Most likely,success would not have brought happiness for him.
There is no doubt that most of us would love to possess many warm relationships, but we often fall short of our aspirations.What are the requisites of a sound relationship?Well,there are many,and we can easily incorporate at least some of them to enrich our lives.
I think the most basic requirement of any relationship is honesty.Fidelity & fairness follow.A person who is genuine,not at all artificial,neither a hypocrite nor a sycophant;attracts admiration and respect.Whatever ties he has will be strong & enduring.
We are all drawn to a person who gives us due respect.If you want to connect with people,give them the feeling that you value their thoughts,feelings & opinions.
Respect is intellectual;it is essential,but it is not enough.Empathy is what truly binds us together.If you can identify yourself with someone's suffering then you have probably won over a friend for yourself.
I have observed that those who enjoy strong,warm relationships are very helpful by nature.They do not shrink from offering assistance where needed.
It is equally important to remember your friends' celebratory occasions & show your pleasure at their happiness.When i think of my family or friends,the one person who always springs to my mind is the one who never fails to wish me on my birth-day or other festivals.It takes very little to make a call or send an sms but it gives a lot in return--the presence of a staunch friend in your life.
You may be honest,courteous,empathetic & helpful,but do you know who will score over you?Why!The one who goes the extra mile.This pays rich dividends in any context-whether it be family or work.I remember with affection,a friend who gave me her silent,unobtrusive company when i was going through a difficult patch,and unasked by me or even known to me,she tried to make things easy for me.I shared my worries with her.
There is another who rang me up to find out if i had reached my home safely because i had left her house in inclement weather.
I have another friend(?)who tattles about all & sundry whenever we meet.I know very well that she wouldn't be saying anything positive about me behind my back.I rank this relationship the lowest of all.Trust is the most important constituent of any relationship.
When ties are strong & intimate,it is normal to share private concerns & seek advice but beware of prying.It can create a chasm in a flourishing relationship.
We could try our utmost to avoid stepping on anyone's toes but an occasional lapse cannot be ruled out.Similarly with others.At such occasions it is best to forgive and forget.Breaking ties is simple but forging them takes time.It is necessary to take care that our ego does not come in-between.
When we try to be good & useful to others we also evolve & become better human beings in addition to forming dependable relationships which act like a buffer against storms.They form a support system upon which we can lean when we feel weak or distressed.Either way,it is our gain.
Pics courtesy google.