It is but natural that personalization should be followed by Blaming-a thought disorder which is opposed to it in almost every way.It denotes blaming external factors for everything which goes wrong in one's life.
Those who suffer from this distortion have a blind spot regarding their own role in the problems which come their way.They do not look back to examine if their behavior was somewhere at fault.This closes the door on a constructive refinement of their outlook and behavior.The setbacks and disappointments recur again and again.
Even in the realm of emotional problems you will hear them complain that so and so is causing them a lot of pain--oblivious of their own role in the deterioration of that relationship.
No doubt ignoring one's contribution to a problem absolves one from the responsibility to improve the status-quo;but this short term relief results in long term disadvantages.Persisting with such behavior makes it difficult to tackle life's problems head on.
It has been seen that those who are forever complaining about this and that are generally not regarded as good company.People get weary of listening to their grouses and showing sympathy.So they are often left alone.
It is not difficult to determine the genesis of this thought disorder.Perhaps they were coddled and made much of as kids--led to believe that they were perfect and could do no wrong.If they grew up as egoists or narcissists,it is hardly their fault.
If you wish to break this shackle you will have to rewrite your ego,understand that you too have drawbacks and weaknesses like everybody else;that these might partly be responsible for your difficulties and they have to be overcome if you want to move forward in life.
If you want to untangle yourself from the clutches of this distortion follow that old Greek adage-Know Thyself.Try to analyse the extent to which you were the cause of a recent mishap.Examine the steps taken by you to solve that problem.A thorough scrutiny of your predilections,weaknesses and misperceptions will enable you to undertake a much needed course correction.
When you finally recognise yourself in the mirror of truth you will have lesser grouses about the world.What's more,your problems will diminish because now you can see how you also added to them.You will embrace better coping skills and have many reasons to be proud of yourself.
Those who suffer from this distortion have a blind spot regarding their own role in the problems which come their way.They do not look back to examine if their behavior was somewhere at fault.This closes the door on a constructive refinement of their outlook and behavior.The setbacks and disappointments recur again and again.
Even in the realm of emotional problems you will hear them complain that so and so is causing them a lot of pain--oblivious of their own role in the deterioration of that relationship.
No doubt ignoring one's contribution to a problem absolves one from the responsibility to improve the status-quo;but this short term relief results in long term disadvantages.Persisting with such behavior makes it difficult to tackle life's problems head on.
It is not difficult to determine the genesis of this thought disorder.Perhaps they were coddled and made much of as kids--led to believe that they were perfect and could do no wrong.If they grew up as egoists or narcissists,it is hardly their fault.
If you wish to break this shackle you will have to rewrite your ego,understand that you too have drawbacks and weaknesses like everybody else;that these might partly be responsible for your difficulties and they have to be overcome if you want to move forward in life.
If you want to untangle yourself from the clutches of this distortion follow that old Greek adage-Know Thyself.Try to analyse the extent to which you were the cause of a recent mishap.Examine the steps taken by you to solve that problem.A thorough scrutiny of your predilections,weaknesses and misperceptions will enable you to undertake a much needed course correction.
When you finally recognise yourself in the mirror of truth you will have lesser grouses about the world.What's more,your problems will diminish because now you can see how you also added to them.You will embrace better coping skills and have many reasons to be proud of yourself.
And I keep saying people who have problems with everyone seldom realise they are the ones that is the problem.
ReplyDeleteRight Purba.In the process their potentials and opportunities go to seed.
DeleteIts really tough to come out from the "Ego", self-analysis and self-judgment mainly fails due the presence of egos and leads us to a wrong way.
ReplyDeleteany way, very nice post.
Thank you Jyotirmoy.It is tough but very elevating if done.
DeleteToday I dont find a single person introspecting, all they know is to blame either people or circumstances for their problems.
ReplyDeleteIt is a pleasure to read your frank opinions Renu.
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ReplyDeleteMostly this is the first reaction,but it is more constructive to introspect and find a rational solution.
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