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Thursday, March 28, 2013

A family Falling Apart--Part three.

Ajay next came to Sahyog after not fourteen,but 45 days.He was again looking very distraught.A lot had taken place in between.

A fortnight ago his wife had taken an overdose of sleeping pills & had to be hospitalized for 3-4 days.According to him this was the result of the same old money wrangles.She was still not on talking terms with him.

They had gone to Jaipur in connection with the hearing of their daughter's case.

Their son had come over for holidays & then absconded for twelve days.He came home only when he was given a pocket money of Rs six thousand .

Ajay packed him off after that.He was really at his wits' end.He wanted to conserve a tidy sum for his daughters' weddings,but since nobody wanted to curtail his/her requirements,he said he would go on giving them till he had funds left.After that--God help them!

Naturally he was deeply upset over all these set-backs.I asked him why his family was so focused on money & not at all concerned with his welfare.He revealed that while he was in service he used to get a tidy sum under the table.Hence they were all used to spending lavishly.Now they refused to adapt according to the changed scenario.I nodded my understanding  & he went on.He admitted that he had provided them with all luxuries but had not given them enough personal attention.Perhaps that was what had alienated them from him.I asked him since he had zeroed upon the root cause of the disintegration;what did he plan to do about it.

He came out with a very wise answer.He wanted to interact with people having similar problems with whom he could discuss:--
* Interpersonal relationships in family
* Husband wife relations
* Errant behavior of progeny
* Monetary problems
* Mental health issues

We discussed some more about these matters & he went away in a thoughtful mood,promising to return again after a month since he had affairs to tend to.Unknowingly,he had asked for group therapy,which was an excellent idea.I tried to bring this about but could not get them all to come for such a session,so it had to be dropped.

Ajay's next visit was his last one at Sahyog.He was in the process of setting up his shop & family life was running more smoothly than before.He was advised to work for greater bonding with his family members.I also gave him tips for maintaining sound mental health.Thankfully,he was far from the teetering edge where he had been when he first came.He went away looking confident & determined to master the situation.


After a few months i rang him up for a follow-up.When i asked him how things were going he said he was very happy,all was well & 'there was complete peace in his home'.This was a very satisfactory end to the whole affair.

The picture above is from google search.


22 comments:

  1. Kudos...!! The efforts you took for taming his mind saved him from a psychotic break-down at last!!!Thank goodness!! Regular visits to a psychiatrist to receive cognitive therapy is so important and helpful.
    Well done, Indu!!

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  2. You are too kind Panchali,perceptive friends like you are an enormous asset!

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  3. That must have been very satisfying, Indu!

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  4. Nice to read a happy ending!! I am so glad you could be of help to them. Good that he approached the center and was able to sort out problems. Many of us think, this phase shall pass..things will be okay..but counselling always helps to sort out problems.

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    1. That's true Latha,counseling helps.
      I am glad you liked reading it.
      Thanks!

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  5. It is good to know that it all ended well after all those problems.

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  6. Great work! I agree most people do not understand how approaching a counselor can really make a difference. I do it often especially related to parenting. I have found the advice given very helpful.

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    1. Rachna you yourself are a good counselor-your posts on parenting are packed with wisdom!

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  7. Interesting case study you have narrated.

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  8. This perhaps is the reason why councelling is so important these days

    a good job you are doing Indu ji ----and can well understand what a feeling of achievement you must be getting with every succesfull case

    thanks for sharing

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  9. Thank you Rajni,your comment encourages me !
    Love n hugs!

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  10. Here goes a pat on your back for commendable jobs like these! Its so important in today's mad world Indu!

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  11. Lovely!This is what makes it all worthwhile.Thank you Jaishree!!!!!!

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  12. I agree with Jaishree... that in today's mad world if you can make a difference it is worth an applaud!

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  13. Thank you Rahul for this kind comment.

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  14. Good that all ended well! Counseling is very much needed these days! Clears all unresolved things in minds. Great work Indu :)

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  15. I was waiting for this post and I don't know how I missed it. Glad everything ended on a happy note.

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  16. Yes,it was such a relief.
    Love n hugs!

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