The # friends we have,the company we keep.

It was the year 2010.Computers had invaded our lives in a big way and the urban young had taken to it like fish to water.But me?I was not young any more.I felt left out,relegated to the margin as it were.Just out of curiosity and a desire to test myself,I wanted to have a go at it.But buying a PC involved a tidy sum and I did not know if I would be able to learn it's operation.

So I asked a friend who was already fiddling with it- 'do you think I will be able to learn how to operate a PC?'She looked at me for a moment and then said yes.So I went ahead and bought one with the help of my grandson who had come over for a visit.That was the beginning of my life as a blogger and a net-surfer.

Now cut to another friend.Suppose I had asked her, who always sees a glass as half empty;what would she have said?'Oh no Indu don't even think of this,it is a highly technical gadget and at our age it is very difficult to learn new skills.'Period!

You get my point?The friends we have and the company we keep;often shape the way we think and act.We tend to imbibe the habits and perspectives of those with whom we interact over extended periods.That is why extreme caution is needed while choosing our friends.

Generally we opt for like-minded friends whose values do not differ majorly from ours.We enjoy their company.They offer support when we most need it and also caution us if we give in to questionable temptations.They influence us in subtle ways.When I see a friend putting up stoically with a divorce or an illness,I too am motivated to be more resilient.On the other hand if I spend most of my time with a habitual whiner,I may feel bound to chime in with my own grouses and begin to see the world through darker shades.   

But old,comfortable friends could also be a reason for confining ourselves to trusted environs and not attempting anything new.If we want to venture out of our comfort zone,try new things and add to our repertoire then it is necessary to connect with those who are active in those fields.Similarly,those who are aspiring to reach the next level in their profession, will profit hugely by associating with those who are already there.It will hasten their progress.Therefore new friends too,come with many advantages.

Today connectivity and networking make it easy to make new friends and build up contacts.But reaching out to a different set of individuals should be preceded by careful consideration of the group in question as well as our own predilections.We are naturally attracted to those who have qualities which we secretly admire but do not possess.But joining a group vastly different from our temperament is not without it's perils.

Suppose a laid-back person is fascinated by a cluster of ambitious,progressive individuals,and joins them in order to upgrade himself.Will their dynamism rub on to him?Will he become a super achiever?Or will he attempt something for which he is not cut out and fall down with a thud?It is also possible that their achievements and cheery attitude should accentuate his dullness and further erode his self esteem.

When we leave the inner circle to fraternize with a new set of people we should be prepared for all kinds of reactions.It is not necessary that they should all be positively inclined towards us.Some will be curious,some intrusive;some indifferent and some belligerent;some will cooperate and some will be ready to stab your behind.So we will have to be very alert to the vibes emanating from others.It is good,it will sharpen our senses and make us more worldly-wise.

No matter with whom we associate,we mustn't lose our own individuality,however attractive or fetching the other person might be;because then we would lay ourselves open to dominance or exploitation.If the values of our colleagues,acquaintances are different from ours then we will have to insure that our own values are not compromised.It is necessary to set boundaries.

All said and done,old,tried friends are a blessing and a crutch during difficult times;but since their interests, activities and aspirations mostly tally with our own it becomes necessary at a point in life;to fork out,make new connections and learn new skills.A wider circle of peeps enables us to evolve and touch new heights.

Image courtesy google.