Most dictionaries define a confrontationist as a person who favors confrontation,esp aggressively.We are sometimes required to confront a misdeed,injustice or a blatant distortion of facts but that would not make us a confrontationist.I would label someone a cofrontationist if s/he always chooses to oppose whatever is being said or done.Someone who is never on the same page.
Try your best,but you will not be able to extract concurrence from such persons.Having known a few such individuals,I have tried giving out a statement with which I am sure the said person will have no issue;but s/he jumps to the other side in the blink of an eye and I am left gaping.
A group of friends may be having a casual discussion about something.Everybody may not have identical views but the disagreements would be cordial and others' opinions would not be trashed outright.In jumps the confrontationist to prove that they are all wrong and only s/he is right.In an instant the hero of the story has spoilt the pitch of the conversation and taken up the level of discomfort many notches.
Most do not like to take the acrimony any further and allow such people to have the last word.This gives them the satisfaction of having been certified (by silent vote) the wisest and the cleverest.It inflates their ego and feeds their self-esteem.If only they were less self-obsessed and more perceptive,they would have fathomed others' discomfiture before they patted their own back.
Why do people do this?It could hardly be a pleasant feeling to see everybody fall silent after you have uttered your pearls of wisdom.But obviously,this escapes their keen observation.They are intelligent and quick witted.That is why they can can produce a plausible argument in a jiffy.But they fail to realize what this does to their reputation.
Once again--why do they do this?Perhaps they have an innate urge to jack up their self-worth and polish their image.A deep seated feeling of inferiority drives them.They are on a never-ending crusade to better their image.
Nothing wrong in that.But they fail to realize that such behavior spins them down the popularity chart.It is self defeating.Since they are oath-bound to oppose the prevailing consensus they often end up contradicting today what they had affirmed yesterday.This naturally exposes the shallowness of their thinking and puts a question mark on the veracity of their utterances even when they are right.
I admire those who speak out against injustice,oppose cruelty or take up cudgels to rectify wrongs.But always opposing everything merely to establish that they are a cut above the rest not only defeats their purpose but also antagonizes others.If only they were more amiable and rational they would be blessed with a positive,wholesome personality and many more friends.Try telling it to them-they are sure to contradict you.
Try your best,but you will not be able to extract concurrence from such persons.Having known a few such individuals,I have tried giving out a statement with which I am sure the said person will have no issue;but s/he jumps to the other side in the blink of an eye and I am left gaping.
A group of friends may be having a casual discussion about something.Everybody may not have identical views but the disagreements would be cordial and others' opinions would not be trashed outright.In jumps the confrontationist to prove that they are all wrong and only s/he is right.In an instant the hero of the story has spoilt the pitch of the conversation and taken up the level of discomfort many notches.
Most do not like to take the acrimony any further and allow such people to have the last word.This gives them the satisfaction of having been certified (by silent vote) the wisest and the cleverest.It inflates their ego and feeds their self-esteem.If only they were less self-obsessed and more perceptive,they would have fathomed others' discomfiture before they patted their own back.
Why do people do this?It could hardly be a pleasant feeling to see everybody fall silent after you have uttered your pearls of wisdom.But obviously,this escapes their keen observation.They are intelligent and quick witted.That is why they can can produce a plausible argument in a jiffy.But they fail to realize what this does to their reputation.
Once again--why do they do this?Perhaps they have an innate urge to jack up their self-worth and polish their image.A deep seated feeling of inferiority drives them.They are on a never-ending crusade to better their image.
Nothing wrong in that.But they fail to realize that such behavior spins them down the popularity chart.It is self defeating.Since they are oath-bound to oppose the prevailing consensus they often end up contradicting today what they had affirmed yesterday.This naturally exposes the shallowness of their thinking and puts a question mark on the veracity of their utterances even when they are right.
I admire those who speak out against injustice,oppose cruelty or take up cudgels to rectify wrongs.But always opposing everything merely to establish that they are a cut above the rest not only defeats their purpose but also antagonizes others.If only they were more amiable and rational they would be blessed with a positive,wholesome personality and many more friends.Try telling it to them-they are sure to contradict you.
Very logical analysis.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jyotirmoy
DeleteA great write as always. Thank you Indu ma'am, you were missed:)
ReplyDeleteAmit ji you are a tremendous morale booster.Thank you .
DeleteMakes a lot of sense. Very well written indeed.
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Glad you liked it Kalpana.
DeleteThanks.
Quite true, a confrontationalist is sort of (excessively) argumentative and often times they are very extrovert.
ReplyDeleteThank for giving your views Alok.
DeleteAn extrovert will not shy from jumping into any discussion of course,but habitual confrontations...?
Agree with you when you say "But they fail to realize that such behavior spins them down the popularity chart.It is self defeating."
ReplyDeletehuman psychology,---is so complex Indu ji very few people have the ability to judge themselves and those that do have are many a times judged wrongly by others humbleness misunderstood for meekness and so n and so forth HUMAN behaviour is complex :) :)
love and hugs
and the summer has really set in in Nagpur 42 degrees :)
That is a very valid observation Rajni.
DeleteThose who never confront anyone will today be dubbed as mild n weak.What to do;)?
Yes sadi summer has come into full swing here too.
Love n hugs to you.
Correct, Indu! When you seek for self-respect within, you have no problems. The hassle is always with those who hunger for self-respect and try to find it from outside
ReplyDeleteAh,you have voiced my sentiment Suresh.
DeleteThanks.
Sadly it would be difficult for such people to develop strong true friendships if they don't have listening ears!
ReplyDeleteYou said it Jaish !
DeleteHave a good day.
I call such people energy vampires and avoid interacting with them.
ReplyDeleteI have learnt a new term from you Purba :).
ReplyDeleteTrue,it is best to avoid them-they suck.
You're back!:)
ReplyDeleteI really like your last paragraph. I am not at all confrontational by nature and I don't enjoy arguing or causing distress in a conversation. I am very non confrontational to the point where I should actually learn to be better at confronting certain things!:) I admire people who are balanced, that confront when the need is there but don't create discord unnecessarily. I don't mind when people have differing opinions and beliefs, but I prefer discussion to arguing. Interesting post!!
Surprising,isn't it?Despite the differences in our age and background,what you say is EXACTLY what i too feel;the only difference being that i don't care much for discussions--not with everybody.
DeleteLove n hugs Colleen.
Such people are usually loud and like to show that they know all and more than anyone else.
ReplyDeletePrecisely :)
DeleteGood Morning.