Monday, May 6, 2013

#Depression--Ease The Burden

Depression is spreading it's tentacles far and wide.According to WHO it has become the leading cause of disability worldwide & 350 million people suffer from it.Less than half of them receive treatment & around one million commit suicide every year.It is definitely something which requires careful attention because it virtually blots out all other joys,affecting not only the patient but also his kith & kin.A depressive person is unable to function or relate properly & falls prey to many health problems .


An interplay of psychological,social & biological factors causes depression.While we may not be able to change some of them,there are many which can be controlled.The most glaring villain here is our  own thought process.By modifying our thoughts we can reach better levels of adjustment.

*When depression results from unfortunate life events or  circumstances beyond our control it leaves us with no other alternative but to bear it stoically.We cannot put back the clock or undo death,disease or loss of job or relationships.The only thing we can do is,allow time to heal the wound & find a substitute to fill the vacuum.

*So many times it happens that we are faced with a difficult situation but have little to guide us regarding the best course of action to be adopted.We use our discretion to choose an option,things go haywire & we are plunged into remorse .Or maybe in a fit of anger or retaliation,we purposely hit out against someone but later on we are overtaken by regrets.Why not be kind to our own self just as we would be to someone else & close the chapter?Why add guilt pangs to an already smoldering state of mind? 

*Poor performance despite our best efforts, can be very demoralizing.Why this happens & how we can get rid of it is a subject for another discussion.But dejection & despair are certainly not the answers;they erode our efficiency still further.It is vital to remember that a vast majority of mankind is average.There is very little room at the top & all cannot fit there.Aspire & strive,but don't let mediocrity depress you.

*It is simply not possible to rise higher & higher all the time.Our knowledge,our way of thinking & working, become outdated;we become less sharp,more forgetful,fall sick & grow old.Certainly reinventing oneself is desirable & it shows results too,but there comes a time when we reach a plateau and at that point it is better to admit that old has to give way to new.What goes up must come down.Why not accept this fact & settle comfortably at the backseat?This has nothing to do with our mental acumen or efficiency;it is simply an ageing process.

*The all pervasive preoccupation with good looks & linking them with self-worth & success is responsible for many woes.We are so obsessed with a slim figure,a toned up body,perfect features & a dashing personality ; that any perceived flaw is enough to send us into the throes of distress.How many of us are satisfied with our personalities? Difficult to say-but there are lots & lots who are utterly unhappy with themselves.There is always some grouse or the other plying at the back of their minds--'I wish I could laugh & joke like Bobby','why can't I make hordes of friends like Ritu does?',' Rita is so poised,wish I was like her','I should go out more often & enjoy partying like Rina'--you can add any number of lamentations to this list.
It is not easy to break out of the mold we have been cast in.Our genes,our rearing,our environment & myriad experiences have combined to make us what we are.Instead of aping others & losing our individuality;it is much more beneficial to make an inventory of our positive characteristics & take pride in them.Accept yourself in totality.Observe people around you & you will find that it is only in magazines & movies that perfect beauty exists & that beauty is not natural at all.

*Rejection from any quarter is unsettling--a presentation gone awry,a missed promotion,a lost job opportunity or a failed exam--these setbacks are saddening for all.But that one event is not the end of the story.There will be other opportunities &  dreams will be fulfilled too, just wait for the right time and make it happen.
One rejection which is hard to accept is a breakup with a loved one.In such cases it is best to realize that what is over,is over.Those days will not come back.Who knows, someone better may be waiting to enter your life! 

* We all crave recognition,approval & appreciation,and we are disappointed when anyone dislikes us.In our quest for popularity we often say 'yes'when we actually want to say 'no';thus taking extra load on our shoulders and adding to our stress.If we go about trying to please everyone we will end up feeling used or exploited.Such relationships do not last long.Just as we cannot please everyone so also we can't expect everyone to like us.Adjusting to & relating to a close coterie of friends & family is much more rewarding.With the rest-maintain cordial terms but don't be distressed if someone ignores you.

I certainly do not advocate accepting the status quo and lazing in your comfort zone.Evolve & shine for all you are worth but your targets & ambitions must be grounded in reality because there is a thin line which demarcates where your potentialities end & limitations begin.Your attempts to cross this line are bound to fail.

Life is never perfect for anybody.Savor the beautiful moments as they come.Enjoy what you have & forget what you lost.This is the best way to stave off depression.Because depression,when it comes,will not go away without taking a toll.
Image courtesy google.

34 comments :

  1. Lot of things to chew here, Indu. Thank you for the post and the links.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome,i am glad you liked it.

      Delete
  2. A lot has cahnged over the yeras.Joint family system has broken down resulting into a direct hit at the relationships.
    Family size is reducing while the world is becoming so much more materialistic.
    Isnt all this enough to give stress?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes a lot has changed & tension is on the rise.

      Delete
  3. Ah! Indu! A lot of memories from way back in my teens. At some point in time, thankfully, I decided to measure myself only by my own standards and to hell with the standards that other people set up for me to measure against - for those standards are elastic and you never ever can measure up. Never a day of depression from that day on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No doubt about that--it is impossible to please many masters.You certainly knew what was good for you.

      Delete
  4. very informative.life has become so tumultuous that we become depressed that easily.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh yes!despite all the time-saving devices we are always pressed for time to relax.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Again, many things to learn aunty. We go through many of the phases that you mentioned and not realize it. Thank you again!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Latha thanks for appreciating my efforts-i am glad you found it useful.

      Delete
  7. Indu ji
    as a mother of two daughters I know they will have to face a lot of hardships ---those which come in a package for every woman ---so both my husband and I keep telling them ---dont.t worry about what others say about you do that what you think is right in the ""given circumstances"""

    and secondly

    nothing succeeds like success ----aaj jo tumko criticise karenge kal wo hi tumhari tareef karenge

    thanks for this post ---it gave me a chance to go back into retrospect

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rajni today it is more essential than ever to give our girls inner strength & back-up which you both are doing.
      Love n Hugs!

      Delete
  8. A truly inspiring piece, Indu...This is so true. I was having this discussion with my friends a couple weeks ago.Feeling down feeds on itself and it soon becomes a catch-22 ---when you convince yourself that you don't deserve to enjoy anything.
    The antidote is to do things that you used to enjoy or be with people who give you good vibes - "one fun thing a day keeps the blues at bay".:))
    I am glad I read this early in the morning...:))Thanks for sharing♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True,depression is like a whirlpool,one has to make mighty efforts to rise above it.Your antidote is so practicable & helpful.
      Thanks for this lovely comment-you always leave a trail of happiness behind!

      Delete
  9. Very useful Indu. Its really scary that, many people are becoming the victims of depression.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Very useful and interesting read Indu..Loved it..:-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks a ton for this wonderful, insightful and helpful article. Video is a must for everyone. I agree, keeping journal, exercise and professional help has changing effect on such people. Also, thinking too much and comparing also leads to depression. Yesterday I read an article how social media is causing this trouble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right about social media,immersing in it cuts us off from reality & comparisons are also stressful.
      Thank you for reading & commenting Saru!

      Delete
  12. Getting depressed is easy, especially in stressful times like these but what is difficult is to decide how to ease the burden, how to let go of the hurt and the pain, where to go and which way to take... through your post, you have done a brilliant job at checking all these points, Induji. A very thoughtful read indeed :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Arti your kind words are a wonderful reward for me.Thank you !

      Delete
  13. I suffered from this terrible disease few years back . It was horrifying time as I never used to like anything. Didn't feeling like living at that time .

    No ones life is perfect so be happy with what we have is what I learnt from my experience . ]

    Nice article.

    Travel India

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have to go through these doldrums sometimes,but it is good you emerged stronger.I hope you never have to face it again.

      Delete
  14. that was an in-depth and introspective article Indu...there is so much pressure not only from those around us, but also our own selves, that we unduly subject ourselves to, and try to live upto , that we finally end up getting depressed...we could do without all that stress. you have summarised it beautifully, savour each moment as they come, because nothing is perfect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi princess,you summed it up very nicely.
      And thanks for this lovely comment.

      Delete
  15. I don't like to linger on my moments of sadness. I wallow in misery for days and then move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come on now!Knowing you through your blog,one would hardly think that you wallow in misery!

      Delete
  16. Insightful indeed Induji! One wishes to be not afflicted with this:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi !

    I was initially diagnosed as a schizophrenic in India, and during a visit to the U.S. the diagnosis was revised to 'manic depressive'. The condition started in 1983 and continued till 2004 when I came under the influence of 'Shirdi Sai Baba'. Till 2004 I was on heavy medication and gradually things started improving and by 2009 I was totally free of medication. Some of these phenomena have been recorded in my blog at http://deepakbellur.blogspot.com/

    They consist of two series of articles 1. Stories - The Glue that holds Societies Nos 1 to 7 (see Archives February 2011)

    2. Some Random Ruminations Nos 1 to 6 (Archives January 2012)

    I tried to send you an e-mail but it invokes 'Microsoft Outlook' and I don't have that. If you can kindly mail me your e-mail address to deepak_bellur@yahoo.com we can discuss some of these things if it interests you. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  18. Deepak welcome to jeeteraho...i appreciate your reaching out in this way...i am very happy that you are/have recovered...it is remarkable ...i too would like to know how you brought this about,i will read your posts though it will take time..more when i hear from you.
    Take care & be blessed.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading my post.I hope you liked it :).