Tuesday, November 21, 2017

A Small Mistake Can Sometimes Bounce Back Badly--All Facts No Fiction

Amit,a young boy of barely 18 yrs of age,was brought to my office by his father.A mere look at him revealed that he was severely depressed.He sat quietly with his head bowed down while his father narrated his problem.

Amits' cousin sister who had been staying with them for the last 10 months,had got married 6 weeks ago but was reluctant to go to her in-laws'house. Amit suggested that they go to their grandfathers' home which was in a nearby city.The girl agreed and they went there.

Over there,his maternal uncle ticked him off for having taken this step.Ever since then he had been like this,sitting mutely,doing nothing.His father took him to a psychiatrist.He had been taking psychiatric medicine for the last 3 weeks but he did not want to continue it since it did not agree with him.

I counselled him as per need but he was neither receptive nor responsive.I could see that he did need medicines to bring him up to near-normal levels before he could take some positive measures to help himself.

I referred him to another psychiatrist in whom I had greater faith.They did not return after that.

At first glance it seems that his impulsive decision to take his cousin to their grandfather' house was the cause of his depression,but his inability to accept genuine criticism too was responsible.He could not handle his family's censure and rebuke.Perhaps his guilt pangs too mortified him.

Life does not cosset anyone and excessive sensitivity or vulnerability is not conducive for health and happiness. 

Follow Up:--

I phoned Amit after about six months.His father came on the line.He told me that the medicine given by the second psychiatrist was on the last legs.He was better and doing good in studies too.He thanked me profusely for my help and thus I closed the case.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

A Negative Outlook,and How to Change It.

Contrary circumstances will evoke negativity in anyone,but it generally subsides when things get back to normal.However, a negative outlook becomes a prominent character trait in some people.They see flaws and disadvantages in everything.There are plenty of complaints and criticisms but no constructive suggestions.A proclivity to denounce and not appreciate is also seen in negative people.For them,the glass is always half empty and not half full.It becomes an instinctive reaction-coming spontaneously from their guts.

A negative mindset distorts reality and presents it as much more alarming and depressing than it really is.The result is a flush of disturbing emotions like fear,despair,anger,hatred,jealousy,anxiety and pessimism.

This kind of outlook has a deleterious effect on all aspects of life.However dissatisfied you might be with your current state of affairs-whether it be in the sphere of your job,home,marriage or the city you reside in-you hesitate to introduce changes or make a new beginning because you can only see snags in the available options.

Even when you do make a new beginning,since you do not hope that anything worthwhile will come out of it,you make half hearted efforts and thus prove yourself right.This accentuates your negativity even more.As the famous personal development guru Zig Ziglar said "positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will".

Changing from negativity to positivity can bring about a refreshing change in your life.If you  want to achieve this:

Stop complaining!

Wherever possible,focus on the humorous aspect of things which irk you.

Appreciate any service rendered to you.

Check the habit of criticizing others.

Think up their good qualities and comment on those instead.

Resist the tendency to contradict what others say.

Don't pick flaws in others' performance.

Acknowledge the good work done by them.

Recount your own talents,abilities,achievements and strengths-however dormant they might be in your mind at that point of time-whenever you take up a new task.

Spruce up your self esteem.

Build up your self confidence.

Finally,take a moment before you form your opinions,trash the thoughts which are not factually correct,bite your tongue if you are about to say,or even think something negative;and the world will soon see you in a positive avatar.You will realize that your life, the people around you and the world on the whole is not as bad as you had taken it to be. You will find greater joy and success in life.