Inoculation Against Mental Disorders?

We all take inoculations against various diseases and they do protect us also.I wish there was  an inocultion against mental disorders too.Then we would be free of anxiety,depression,suicidal thoughts and other such anomalies.But there isn't any such preventive mechanism.Psychiatrists,psychologists and counsellors arrive only after the bug has bitten.

So I began to think how do I protect myself from these evils?Let me share my thoughts with you all-

1. It is not as if God has been especially kind to me.I too have gone through many difficulties,traumas and trgedies.But my best-and most dependable-companion through all those phases has been rationality.If I find myself against a tough situation I automatically begin to speculate how it transpired ,whether I did something wrong or whether it is the doing of an opponent or whether it is merely my luck at work.Am I reading too much into a chance happening or should I take steps to protect myself, what should my rection be?Rational thinking guides me about my response and behaviour.
2. Acceptance-I might be saddled with a relative,neighbour or colleague whom I dislike,or just cannot stand.Or an annoying event may have shed a dark shadow on my personality.I can't oust these people or that event out of my life,so what should I do?I merely accept such factors as a part of life and concentrate on how to make the best of a bad situation.Yeah,I am learning new skills!
3. Gratitude-All is never lost.It is lost only when we take our last breath.If there has been a major climax in my life,I would be disturbed,no doubt, but I would also thank God that so many other factors are still as they were.Ups & downs are a part of life.Even lord Ram had to spend 14 year in woods-taht too after a royal birth.Am I someone special that my life should always follow my dictates?
4. Diversion-We humans are blessed with a special quality-our brains can only function on one particular track at a time.If I am depressed because my boss ignored me while handing out promotions to others,many other similar episodeswill come to the fore.But if I begin to straighten my desk,sort out important documents,throw out the trash then I would have shoved my depression to the background.You can also solve puzzles  or read a book to provide new channels to your brain.Diversion is the best answer.
5. Exercise-No matter how hard we try,tensions will come.Along with them come insomnia,body stiffness and different aches and pains.Anxiety readies the body to fight an enemy,increases the flow of harmful chemicals which play havoc with our body and it's systems.If we do exercise,Yoga or brisk walking then these pernicious chemicals are used up,leavind us calm.Try it.

The above habits have always helped me to handle the problems of life.I hope they will benefit you too!

Coaching Institutes of Kota

I have been a resident of Kota since decades.It used to be a quiet city till 1990 but the advent of coaching institutes after that brought in many changes.It now bustles with the activities of tutors,students and their guardians.I see many students and their guardians walking on the road in front of my home.It is easy to make out from their looks and conversations that they have come here from many other states

Some exude vigour and vitality while some others appear rather serious and worried.Naturally,because the regime is very,very taxing-not everybody can bear it smilingly.There is also a lot of competitiveness which keeps students on edge.

But the saddest part of this whole system is that some of those who find it unbearable,do not return home,but commit suicide.

Another NEET student dies by suicide in Kota, 6th in 2024.According to Hindustan Times Aug 3 

A vital question raises it's head-why do children choose death or self-inflicted torture,instead of returning home?Different answers come to mind-

1-Some join these institutes because their parents were very keen on them doing this course but they have no interest in the subjects being taught.

2-Some others know that their parents have managed with great difficulty ao get hold of the large amount of money needed for their stay in Kota.They cannot face them after their failure to qualify.

3-Their peers and relatives back home will look down upon them if they return without achieving anything.

4-A budding relationship breaks-leaviing them depressed.

The causes might be many more but no matter what the cause-the fact remains that a child's home,however big or small it may be-is like a nest for him.He feels secure and happy there.In Kota he might be confined to a limited space and a different ambiance.The people around him may be friendly,indifferent or even hostile.What sort of a memory-bank will he accumulate during his stay here?Will these years become a benign part of his memories or will it be too torturous to live with?

I think the aspiring doctors and engineers as well as their parents ought to give a second thought to  their plans if they find anythig amiss.There are numerous trades to choose from,if one option fails then another should be tried.Sui cide is no answer!

My readers are welcome to state their views on this subject,it will bebeneficial.

Self-help For Anxiety And Depression

 Experts tell us that Mental Disorders are on the rise.Everyone experiences anxiety at some time or the other but sometimes it deepens into depression or a host of other Mental Disorders.The stigma attached to such maladies prevents people from consulting a professional or even admitting that they too are victims.

Hence they try to tackle it according to their own acumen and will-power.Most people know about aids like exercise,meditation,pranayam and positive thinking which can and do mitigate anxiety.A lesser known asset which can also pitch them on the path to recovery is writing a daily journal-that is recording their thoughts,emotions and activities every day.

Anxietry or depression spin from negative thoughts which lead us to conclude that our life,personality,future prospects and relationships are dismal and nothing can improve them.But writing a diary gives us the space to evaluate our behaviour and thought processes once again,so that we can rectify them if  necessary.

When you write your diary pay special attention to your moods.Also what you did to improve your mood if it was woebegone to begin with.At the end of the day or on the next day,recapitulate whether whatever you did after getting up,dissipated your worries or aggravated them.Mark that which helped you to overcome negative thoughts and vow to do it daily.

Overcoming anxiety is an important part of one's health and wellness but there are so many other responsibilities-which,if attended-will give you a happy,healthy and full life.For example you may be hiding in your room,unnecessarily snubbing your acqaintances or shirking your duties.There are many fronts on which a tense person can go wrong.Naturally this can create negativity or lead to nsavory consequences.Evaluate your performance on such fronts when you write your diary.If you are failing in an important facet  then try to do better the next day.Set your targets and and attempt to remove the hurdles which bar you from doing this.

Despite best efforts crises and calamities do occur.The journal is always there to write about such events and avail catharsis.This will lessen your agony.You can then analyse what went wrong and how to rectify it.Your journal is also a good place to ponder about oncoming challenges and how you should tackle them.

Thus we see that keeping a diary enables clear thinking,reduces anxiety or depression,helps you to overcome your faults,endows  resilience and boosts stamina,resulting in a new ,better you.What a wonderfull gadget to stay well and move forward.

You may also like my blog posts - 

Personality Traits which are Risk

Your self help guide for Eliminating

Cognitive Distortions,Magnification and Maximisation

The Clutch Of A Bad Habit

We are creatures of habit.Our habits govern many of our actions and reactions.A newborn baby has no habits-only a couple of instincts-the fear of falling and the need of sustenance.Habits form as days pass,and then these habits shape our personalities.They become so entrenched that even if we realize that a certain habit is going counter productive we very often fail to change it.

Samuel Johnson has aptly stated “The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” 

If like me,you too are budened with some bad habits,then decide first of all which one is the most detrimental.Like I have this habit of drinking many cups of tea in a day,even though it causes acidity.Therefore I have decided to get rid of it.Or take the case of Rupa-she has this habit of studying at night till near dawn ,and getting up at noon the next day.One day she came to know about the Circadian Rhythm at https://www.sleepfoundation.org/circadian-rhythm, which states that a disrupted Cercadian Rhythm can affect the body's alertness,sleepiness,body temperature physical/mental health and appetite.She also realized that the assimilation of subject matter studied at night was not worth spoiling her sleep for and decided to give up this habit.

Once you have decided to expunge a habit the next step is to Pinpoint the trigger which impels you to follow that habit.I pondered why I drink so many cups and realized that it is because tea gives me the space to relax,or because I am hungry and decide to have a cup of tea rather than eating anything.So fatigue and hunger were my triggers.For Rupa sleepiness and fatigue were the cues.She had to force herself to sit down and study every night even though her body protested against this.

Once the cues have been discerned be alert the next time a cue raises it's head and choose a better response to it rather than giving in to your old habit.For example I relax with a good book or munch a biscuit whenever the yearning for a cup of tea surfaces.You too can choose a better option to replace your bad habit-one which takes you forward and is free of  any ill-effects.

Do this unfailingly for a week and then consider it's effects.Do you feel better and more efficient now than you did before?If the answer is yes then continue to ignore those triggers.

When one habit has been consigned to history decide which one comes next and follow the same procedure.Evaluate how good this decision has proven to be and relax with an easy mind.You will definitely feel better and do better.

As John Dryden said"We first make our habits,and then our habits make us".

#MajorDepression-A True Case History

 This is about Pawan,who came to me for counselling three months ago.I could see at a glance that he was severely depressed.His facial expression,posture,gait,voice-everything proclaimed this to any casual observer.Before starting the session I assured him that according to the norms of us counselors,whatever he told me would not go beyond the walls of my clinic,so that he could rest easy on that score.

He told me he was 60 yrs old,had three sons,and they all lived in a three storied bungalow.He was happily married,and had been an elite performer in his company till a few years ago,though lately it was all becoming too much for him.He felt bowed down with duties and responsibilities.His sleep was very poor and though healthy,he felt very lethargic.He had been on psychiatric medicines since many years.It turned out that he had suffered two episodes of #Depression many years ago.At present He was taking a medicine prescribed by his old doctor but it was not doing him any good.

I asked him what it was,which was troubling him so much.He replied that one of his sons had started construction work in his portion a few days back but he agreed to stop it after the father's  objection.That way,his sons were quite obedient.Besides this he could not state any specific problem which was distressing him.He just felt overworked and incapable of sorting his issues.I asked him to gather his family,reveal his tensions and ask who could do what,to lessen his burden.

I suggested that he should go for a physical check up to rule out any disease which could be the cause of his tensions.I also encouraged him to go for morning walks and do regular exercises.He was asked to be more active during his waking hours,since his official duties were not much to speak of.He replied that he did not have any friends or hobbies so there was nothing for him to do.I told him that he could do small things aroind the house,chit-chat with his family,reveal his worries and ask about their concerns.

He was asked to try his best and report after four days.He did not come after four days but did after two months.He was even more woebegone this time.I recommended a psychiatrist whom I knew as being very competent.Perhaps a change of medicine and approach was needed.

And mere medicine was not enough.In order to get relief he had to change his whole routine and lifestyle.He must interact with those around him,greet people and say a few words to them.Even to the vendors.He should talk about his difficulties to those whom he could trust.Instead of thinking all the time about his own problems he should be more mindful of his surroundings,watch all that was happening around him and take interest in others' lives and problems.Yoga and meditation too,were very good for calming the min.If he started doing all this his track of negative thoughts would be replaced by a better one and his depression would ease. 

He was asked to return after one week.But true to his nature, he did not return after one week.Instead,he came after one month and told me that he felt as if his mind was failing him.He had not consulted the psychiatrist suggested by me.His whole life was in disarray.Uptill now he had striven to earn more and more,without any consideration of it's effect on the whole structure of his and his family's life.The way in which he had expanded his house and let in various tenants,now could not be undone.But it had definitely multiplied his problems.

I asked him to recount the steps he had taken to lessen his anxiety.He replied that he went for swimming in the morning and felt better after that.I explained that physical exercise consumed the harmful chemicals generated through worries and fears,and it was very beneficial for lessening anxiety-he should do more of it. It turned out that he was doing things like clapping his hands or meditating but not reaching out to anyone around him.

I asked him if it was because he felt that his personality had deteriorated and people would look down upon him.He said yes.I told him he was not the only one suffering from anxiety and most people had so much on their minds that they had little time to judge others.His self imposed isolation was doing him more harm than anything else.Those who did not isolate themselves recovered faster.Since his old methods were not showing good results it was time to change them.He was again motivated to go out and connect with others.

I asked him to  clarify his thoughts and come next week.However he did not come.I asked about his wellbeing after one month,but he did not respond.Then I left the onus on him and closed the case.

#Social Anxiety Disorder

 Megha is a young housewife of about forty years old.She has two children and lives in a well-furnished house having all the amenities one could ask for.Her husband is a genial family man and earns well.With all these advantages going for her,one would expect her to be a chirpy,friendly positive girl.But she is just the opposite.You will never catch her smiling or accosting anyone.She takes good care of her health,goes for a morning walk and does yoga and meditation too.Physically,she has a good personality but emotionally-who can say! She never gives anyone the chance to know or befriend her.What could  be the possible cause of this stark contrast between her lifestyle and her demeanor?

It is quite obvious that she is suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder.According to NIMH "Social Anxiety Disorder is a persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.This fear can affect work,school and other daily activities.It can even make it hard to make and keep friends."

But why does this syndrome affect some people so badly that they segregate themselves from those around them and choose to live a lonely friendless life?Where does it stem from?The answers to these queries lie hidden in their minds.

However psychologists do have some pointers.If a child went through adverse experiences,was bullied or targeted repeatedly it could instill in her mind an aversion for meeting others,looking face to face or trusting them.It becomes a permanent feature of her personality.Despite the various ill-effects of this disorder on her life she is unable to shake it off.If only she was to consult a Mental Health professional this fear could be toned down if not eradicated but this same fear prevents her from doing this.

If she does nor want to do this then the next alternative is to take the matter in her own hands.

1. She should introspect calmly and gauge whence this fear erupted.Was it a single incident or a number of them?
2. Is the perpetrator still in her ambit or have the circumstances changed?
3. Is she today as vulnerable as she was then?
4. This code of conduct which she has charted for herself,is it protecting her from anxiety or  aggravating it.
5. Is it not barring her from living a full life,making good use of her potential and going forward.
6. She can take small steps,connect with those she thinks harbor no ill-will toward her,take up tiny excursions in social activities and then evaluate the results.
7. Just as she decided to isolate herself from society,she should now determine who all she can safely interact with and lay down the boundaries too so that she can safely move forward.
8. She should talk about her fears and feelings on the subject to those whom she loves and can trust.

These simple steps will assist her to overcome her inhibitions and become a proactive part of society which is essential for leading a healthy and happy life.  

#Loneliness-The Latest Epidemic

Loneliness is a hallmark of modern life.Ironically,the more you are connected on social sites the less in real life.Go online and you will be flooded with messages and sermons but not one of them can give you company for a  cup of tea or a heart-to-heart talk.Everybody is so caught up with their work that there is little time to build lasting relationships.We are becoming lonelier by the day.

This is contrary to human nature.There is an inbuilt need for belonging in all of us,a connection with someone who knows us inside out,who will cheer us when we are sad,boost our morale when we are disheartened,and stand by us through thick and thin.But the basic necessities of life take up most of our time and nurturing relationships is unconsciously relegated to the background:relationships not only with family and friends but also with colleagues and neighbors.

Experts say that those who are well connected with others enjoy better physical and mental health.Life is more pleasant and enjoyable for them.Even a major upheaval or tragedy is better tolerated by those who are supported by their family,friends or community.They will bounce back faster.Their relationships assist and motivate them to move forward and achieve their goals.Therefore they are happy and well adjusted.

Loneliness on the other hand creates an aching void in the heart.Those who are lonely feel rejected by society,as if they are not good enough to be associated with.Even if their isolation is because of their own reticence a time may come when there is mounting resentment against others for neglecting them.The longer the period of seclusion,the greater the resentment.And when this anger comes out in unseemly behavior it gives people cause to shun them.Loneliness so impacts social skills that a time comes when they are as wary of approaching others,as other people are of accosting them.Hence it is best to beat loneliness as soon as one begins to feel it's pinch.

Overcoming Loneliness

• Overcoming loneliness is not difficult at all.Start with the service providers.Say something more to them than you have been saying till now.It could be about their service or the weather or anything else which comes to your mind.My BH asked our postman why he had become so sluggish.He divulged that he was having a kidney problem.He has been ever so cooperative since then.This brief exchange benefited both of them.
• Frequent places like the market,parks,a club,or your place of worship.
• See people eye to eye.
• Be the first to greet them-with a smile of course. 
• Make it a point to add a bit of small talk when you greet someone.It will convey your conviviality.
• Connecting with kindred individuals opens up an evolutionary chapter in the arena of relationships.If you are a writer you will have much to talk about with another writer.You won't even have to strain to keep a dialogue going.Similarly with other interests.Look for probable contacts in the areas which interest you.Such relationships are abiding as well as fruitful.
• Even if your work consumes most of your waking hours save enough time to interact with your family when you return home.
• Be aware of your surroundings and participate in community affairs. 

Mental health experts affirm that although close,positive relationships are necessary for our general well being,the need for social connectivity varies in different individuals.Some are lonesome by nature and quite happy in their own company.By and large,some basic connections are essential for all to live and perform but even then, relationships are desirable only if they are positive.It is better to be alone rather than in a toxic relationship.

Social connectivity boosts our mental health but mental or emotional problems make it difficult to connect with others.Conscious efforts have to be made to check the impulse to isolate oneself.Even close associates or the loved ones should make it their concern to draw them out,because isolation will further damage their mental health.

Happy,joyous relationships do not fall in the lap,they have to be worked upon.If you want more inclusion,spend quality time with the people in your ambit.Take interest in their lives and listen to what they have to say.Conversely,voice your thoughts;appreciate the good you see in others.Help out and be helped in return.This give and take strengthens bonds and makes life livable.

For more about the benefits of relationships read this post.

The Adverse Consequences of a Lethargic Life.

If overwork is a problem,the reverse too,can be vexatious.Disability,debility,illness,retirement from work and even affluence:all combine to swell the ranks of those who spend the day sitting,lying down or twiddling their thumbs.Those weighed down by work or academic pressure are also inadvertently consigned to this category.

In Complete Relaxation Mode

Some people dislike being idle but some revel in an indolent lifestyle.The immediate gratification of such a life makes them overlook the problems which will accost them sooner or later,because it can lead to many physical or mental ailments.Inactivity causes obesity,which itself is a risk factor for Diabetes,Hypertension,Cardiovascular diseases, Migraines and various aches and pains.Even the brain requires activity to stay fit,which is why lethargic or indolent people are more vulnerable to Anxiety,Depression and Dementia.

Physical exertion is a gateway to good health.It improves the blood circulation so that all the internal organs as well as  the extremities are nourished well and proper.Activity facilitates a good appetite, digestion,and subsequent elimination of wastes and toxins from the body.It also accords sound sleep and better mental health.The body remains flexible and one is  spared the agony of joint pains.

Despite the various benefits of living an active life we do come across people who hate physical exertion.They would rather read,enjoy screen-time,play cards,sit and chat with family and friends or do crossword or sudoku. Passing time is not a problem for them but it is for those who do not have a large family, friends or hobbies to engage them.So they end up lying down,ruminating about the good old days or just sitting and watching the world go by.
                The Disuse Syndrome
No matter what be the cause of living an under-active life,it is indisputable that it undermines health and happiness.Decreased stamina often causes people to give up physical exertion;but this entails the likelihood of losing whatever strength and agility they do possess,because the body parts which are not used,deteriorate.Disuse of muscles leads to atrophy.A limb which has been in cast for long looks thinner when the cast is removed.Similarly the brain too works at it's optimum when the person stays active.

The disuse syndrome is caused by physical inactivity and is fostered by our sedentary society.
"Inactivity plays a pervasive role in our lack of wellness. Disuse is physically, mentally, and spiritually debilitating." 
https://www.spine-health.com/blog/relationship-between-chronic-pain-and-inactivity-disuse-syndrome

This should be enough to jolt anyone into a bout of activity.If you have been sluggish till now,begin a new chapter by getting up at the right time every day,followed by simple exercises,massage and a bath.Adding Yoga,Pranayam and Meditation to your morning routine would be the icing on the cake.Making your bed,tidying up your room and organizing your belongings come next.You can even make your own tea/coffee instead of waiting for it to come to you.

These activities do not require much energy.Graduate to more strenuous tasks after you have gotten used to them.Look around you and do what needs to be done-pronto.Give up procrastination.If a gadget is not working get it repaired.If there are a number of garments which are not in use give them in charity.If your book-rack holds a number of books which you don't intend to read,give them away.Similarly with other things which are past their utility.Sort out your files and documents,discard the ones which are not needed.

Merely pottering around the house is not enough.Let it be a precursor to moving out of the house,taking walks and doing simple errands.Meet people,socialize with them and become an active member of society.The aim should be to do what you can, to keep the metabolism active.These initiatives will notch up your happiness level in addition to safeguarding your health.

Snoring the day away

An indolent lifestyle is seldom a matter of compulsion and more of choice or habit.Junking this habit and supplanting it with a new one is possible and advantageous.If you doggedly do something new for at least three weeks it can become a habit.

The key lies in understanding and accepting the fact that inactivity is not good for you,it invites disease and decay.Remember the old adage 'use it or lose it'.

Images courtesy google search.

The Hurdle Race

I remember watching the hurdle race when I was in school.The hurdlers knew well their limitations and knowing also the consequences of a bad fall,they did not attempt the impossible.I not being the sporty kind,watched from the sidelines.

That was school.Adult life is different.We have to participate in many races.We cannot sit comfortably in shade and watch others sweat it out.And we also do not like the idea of others winning prizes while we are left bereft.Whether because of a dire need or spurred by the hope of winning prizes at the end of the race; we are slowly inveigled into joining many races and jumping over steep hurdles.

The hurdles in adult life are invisible but no less daunting.Joy overflows when we clear a hurdle.If we fall and scrape our knees we just smear an ointment and carry on.The problem begins when we scrape our spirits;when we allow a failure to define us,to fill our waking hours and steal our sleep.That is the time to sit up and cogitate.Was it necessary to cross that hurdle?Was the hurdle too high?Were we in the wrong race altogether?How important was it for us to jump over that hurdle and win that race?

If failing a race makes us despondent and miserable,clearing every successive hurdle and winning much awaited laurels too can sometimes have a negative fallout.

Some of us get so involved in running races and proving our worth that we do not pause to consider whether all those races are absolutely essential for us.This fact does need consideration because while we are running a hard race we have to put many other issues on the back burner and some of them might be equally important for our health and happiness.

If we go overboard with crossing hurdles and gathering prizes,nemesis may not be far behind.It might come in the form of physical exhaustion for one,physical or mental disease for another,and a broken home or relationships for the third one.

Take a look at what Dr Joseph Maroon,a professor of neurosurgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center says in his book"Square One:A Simple Guide to a Balanced Life" :

"I've had rather impressive success [and] cataclysmic failure personally," Maroon says. "I was intent on becoming the very best that I could in terms of my profession, neurosurgery. I worked extremely diligently. It became an all-encompassing pursuit for me in my life … with success, societal approval, writing papers, going to national meetings … Soon after becoming chief of neurosurgery at a major university hospital, I [cracked]. My father died, my wife and children left me, I had to quit my profession as a neurosurgeon due to the overwhelming stress … all within one week … The next week, I [was] helping my mother run a rather dilapidated truck stop left to her by my father in Wheeling, West Virginia, living on a farm. One day I was doing brain surgery and [the next] literally filling up 18-wheelers and flipping hamburgers in a rundown truck stop. It was a great fall. It was kind of like an Icarian metaphor of flying too near the sun. I got scorched and I plummeted into the sea — a sea of depression."

Personal advancement is a driving force of life but it should not be confused with a greed for name,fame and wealth.When our stamina is at it's peak it is possible to wear out our bodies to any extent.Our body and mind do give subtle signals that they are being abused but we ignore those signals.In this way we defy the very objective for which we labored so hard-a happy wholesome life.

The quote by Dr Maroon taken from
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2017/06/18/how-to-recover-from-burnout.aspx

How We Overcame General Anxiety Disorder,Panic Attacks and Hypochondria

Aug 2015
It all began six months ago when my husband (BH) was declared a diabetic.It was a major downturn in our lives.The medicine he was prescribed did not agree with him.We got it changed and also amended our lifestyle (which was not much bad earlier),but his health continued to deteriorate.

He complained of various physical complaints.It was not long before I realized that he had become a hypochondriac--it is an awful affliction,believe me.There is no enemy to fight,it is all so nebulous.He began writing his various symptoms in a journal and it was crystal clear that his symptoms changed hue every day because there was no biological basis for them.But this did not set his mind at rest.

I had daily counseling sessions with him.He listened attentively and also read material about his condition on the net.I gave him constant company and tried to engage him by yapping about this and that.But there was something troubling him which spiked his anxiety.

Soon he began to have panic attacks and my son was asked to fly down immediately.He was a great help but BH gave up whatever little he had been doing to keep the household running,and began to depend entirely upon him.More spare time meant more rumination and more rumination meant more anxiety.He became worse than ever.

My son stayed with us for 18 days.BH was not ready to let him go but I prevailed upon him so that he could take up the reins again.Soon my daughter came and again the same story.He lost his weight,stamina and confidence at a fast pace.We all tried our best to talk him out of it but understanding that he was being unreasonable with his complaints did not in any way help him to mitigate them even though our GP too,gave him a clean chit.

Soon my daughter too,went and slowly he picked up a few of his duties.He began driving once again.His favorite physician checked him time and again,followed by numerous tests;to rule out any disease,but BH was never convinced.The complaints began to mount.We consulted ten doctors but he still feared that he had a serious disease.

I realized that he was suffering from A feeling of insignificance.He had been very healthy and active all his life but failing health and empty hours were taking their toll even when there was no other problem in our lives.He had no occupation and no hobby.He is a very good singer but not once did he try to play any music.Even when I did so,it failed to engage him.He has a background of agriculture but he even gave up supervising our gardener's work.The only thing he did keep up was,walking,but mostly on our terrace.He did not feel comfortable meeting people.

Now what can you do in such a situation?I tried to involve him in growing vegetables on our terrace but I ended up doing most of the work.Then I asked him to talk to some laborers who were working at a house nearby and ask them to send their children to our home for studying.Three kids started coming over.I went and bought the required stationary for them and we started the classes on our balcony. BH took up the eldest child who was smarter than the other two.He was well occupied for at least one hour in the morning.I think he liked this diversion.There was a goal to be met,and something to look forward to. 

Then a friend of mine suggested we send them to a government school where they will get free books,uniform and mid-day meal too.We did so and now those kids are going to a school and they are very happy.We are both very glad that they are receiving formal education but we do miss their visits --i.e,I hope BH too misses them;because he rarely expresses his feelings.

Feb 2016
It is now one year since all this started.My sessions with him continue,he listens carefully but he is just not prepared to accept the changes which come attached to advancing age.He is very sad at these changes in his personality (if you smell narciccism here,you are not off the mark).He has numerous physical complaints which I suspect,stem from his anxiety.Some days are good,some are not:(.

Oct 2016
He tries very hard to free himself from anxiety and it is showing results.Given below are the various factors which have helped him to recover :--

* Our GP was a great help.He prescribed anti-anxiety drugs and also something for insomnia.The medicines were just enough to give him relief,and not make him drowsy all day long;which he would have abhorred.

* Our children's support has been very reassuring.

* Our counseling sessions have continued alongside.

* He goes for daily walks on the road and meets neighbours.

*Does stretching exercises.

* Also does 'pranayam' and meditation.

* Goes to the market to fetch groceries etc,does not take the help of a driver.

* Listening to devotional songs has eased his anxiety to a large extent.

* Tearing a rag to shreds when the anxiety was extreme helped to cool his mind.

*Going out and visiting friends has also helped a lot.

* We tried to play board games but this did not interest him much.Neither did painting or coloring.

The whole purpose of narrating this story is to share with you how difficult it is to extricate someone from an anxiety disorder and what are the various steps that can be taken.Eventually,sustained efforts do show results,as they have in our case.I hope we will soon be out of the woods.

Dec 2016
Nearly two years have elapsed since BH's health problems started.Today he is completely cured.What a journey it has been!He has quitted the sleeping pills as well as the anti-anxiety medicine.

Jan 2017
I am always alert for any signs of relapse--God forbid.BH has been a model patient,he not only listened to my advice but also put it into practice.Wht's more,he resumed his stretching exercises,pranayam and meditation as soon as he was able to.My being a counselor who was in constant attendance too,was a lucky coincidence.

In the absence of a psychiatrist,or an able family physician or a counselor,it is the family which has to

bear the maximum responsibility for the patient's welfare.Even if the patient is getting proper treatment,there are certain do's and don'ts which the family members should be aware,of when they take care of a mental patient.Later on,when the patient is well enough to join the mainstream,he needs to be coaxed and inspired to take baby steps towards normalcy.Along with the requisite treatment;love,empathy,encouragement and companionship of a family too,are therapeutic.It is a tough journey,but very much worth the toil.

Why Conceal Anxiety,Depression,or Any Other Mental Disorder?

Living with anxiety,depression,O.C.D or any other mental disorder is an excruciating experience.It sets you apart from the rest of mankind.You feel worthless,weak and inferior.No wonder you try to hide this condition from others.In fact you may take time to even acknowledge it to your own self.But this secrecy,the attempt to project that everything is fine,has dire repercussions.So many things can go wrong if you do not open up about what is ailing you.

1. Firstly,mental turmoil can make you absent minded,forgetful,unreasonable,irritable and easily provoked.These characteristics have the potential to sour relations.Others do not know what you are going through and therefore they may hold it against you.
2. Secondly,when you keep your feelings bottled up,your tensions mount and this can worsen your condition.
3. When you disclose your illness you are likely to get more emotional support from those who know.
4. They can make life easy for you by sharing your burden in everyday chores or helping you with your visits to the doctor and subsequent treatment.
5. Long term stress is sometimes responsible for the onset of diseases like hypertension,skin eruptions,gastric ulcers,thyroid disease,diabetes and even cancer.It is best to nip this possibility in the bud by seeking treatment.
6. By admitting that you suffer from a mental disorder you will be piercing the veil of stigma which is responsible for so many like you suffering for long periods without any treatment and going downhill to a state beyond redemption.
7. Once you have revealed what ails you--you don't have to shout it from the rooftops,but only let it be known on 'need to know basis'--you will be relieved from the stress of having to put up a brave front at all times.

I cannot sign off without saying a few words in defence of those who conceal a mental disorder.When someone realizes that he is losing control over his emotions and reactions he feels very inadequate and unworthy.He fears that if he were to divulge the state of his mental health he would be branded as abnormal or a mental patient--both of which are synonymous in general perception.

It is possible that some,who are not genuinely attached to you may fade away from your life after disclosure,because they do not know how to handle this situation;but it is also likely that you may get more emotional support from the people around you.

A disclosure at the workplace can be dicey,it can cut both ways.You might benefit from reasonable adjustments being made to suit your condition,but an ambience of gossip or stigma too,cannot be ruled out.It is also a fact that the unemployment rate in mental patients is higher than average.

On the whole this is a very personal decision which ought to be preceded by a serious evaluation of the pros and cons of revealing or concealing.

But what cannot be pushed under the table is,the caution that when you realize your efforts to cure yourself are not bearing fruit,when your whole schedule goes haywire,you lose interest in things which earlier engaged you,it is time to seek treatment.Do not prolong your self-imposed isolation.The earlier you come out,the quicker will be your recovery.Choose the professional with whom you are comfortable,but begin to live.Life will be rosy once again.

Simple Ways of Training The Brain

Our brains work best when we work out strategies,meet challenges,learn new things and solve puzzles.With the passage of time such activities diminish and the brain becomes lethargic.We become creatures of habit-afraid to try anything new.We fall into a rut and our days follow a fixed template.This not only makes us forgetful and lack-lustre,it can also set a stage for Alzheimer's Disease.

Like every part of the body the brain too requires exercise to stay supple.Even simple changes in our lifestyle can give excellent results.Here our a few of my favorite methods:--

1. Meditation-The topper on this list has to be this esoteric science which not only improves the brain's function but can also relieve anxiety and depression.
2. Learn new things-it could be anything from playing a game or an instrument to learning a new language.
3. Use your non-dominant hand for more activities.
4. Do what you find difficult,and you may be pleasantly surprised.This new-found confidence will encourage you to explore new territories.
5. Try to memorise at least some phone numbers which you frequently use.Check-how many can you reel off at this moment?
6. Play some brain games like Sudoku,Scrabble,Crossword,Rubik's Cube or Chess.
7. If you come across a new word while reading,look up it's meaning and test your memory the next day.
8. Do some mental math for basic calculations instead of reaching for the calculator.
9. Before going to sleep,recall all that you did after waking up in the morning.
10. Make slight variations in your morning regime.For example you could take a brisk walk instead of doing aerobics.Or take a new route for your walks.Or just sit down in the lap of nature and do breathing exercises.
11. Walk backwards for a while,and also on your toes.
12. Take sufficient sleep-the brain repairs itself while you are sleeping.
13. Avoid intoxicants and take a healthy diet.
14. Juggle balls.This seemingly innocuous activity has many health benefits.

These are simple measures but they will produce gratifying results if practiced diligently.Your learning abilities will improve-there will be faster learning,longer retention and quicker recall.You will become more alert and better able to concentrate.Forgetfulnes will be a thing of the past.You will feel more confident and your self-esteem too will rise.

This is by no means an exhaustive list.How about telling me what works for you?

Ten Tips For Coping With a # Crisis

We try to fashion a life which has order,progress,harmony and growth;but sometimes it takes a u-turn.A major disruption hits like a bolt from the blue.Critical ventures fail,gainfully employed people become jobless,a robust person is crippled,diseases diminish mind or body,relationships wither,or a dear kin departs.

The aftermath of such incidents is unsettling to say the least.We look frantically for a way to revert back to that earlier state of cheer and fitness,but some changes are irrevocable, and it is impossible to wind back the clock.All we can do is,find a way to minimise collateral damage and start anew.

Major upheavals entail drastic adjustments which are not easy to make.Is there any tool-kit to deal with such crises?The following may help:--

• The very first requirement is to express your agony.Cry,shout,scream,vent your feelings,if that is what you feel like doing.Find a deserted place where you can be yourself.You will feel lighter after you have done this.
• Now calm yourself.Don't panic.Say to yourself that this too shall pass,the pain will diminish and life will become easier.
• Express your feelings to someone who understands you.If noone else,then consult a professional.Don't hesitate to ask for advice.
• Don't dwell on what you have lost,it will aggravate your pain and prolong the status quo.If it comes to that,even the past must have had some elements which were not to your liking;and this turning point could even be beneficial in the long run.Silver lining,you know!
• Check the instinct to react with rash behavior.Many people respond to a crisis by taking recourse to violence,self-harm or suicide.Avoid any kind of addiction-whether it be of food,drugs,or alcohol.  
• Try to maintain your routine as far as possible.Eat well,sleep well.Stifle the urge to just hide under the covers,shutting out all else.
• Hold on to the good things which still remain.If you have a loving family,savor its warmth.Go out,meet friends.Take up the activities which give you pleasure.
• Look up,google those who have gone through a similar trauma,find out how they restructured their lives.
• Plan out how you want to rebuild your life.Set small,attainable goals which will take you towards normalcy.Recount your own strengths and tap other resources which could help you to stand up again.
• Remind yourself of the many blessings which you still enjoy in order to ward off depression.

Some crises definitely are very hard to adjust to,but if we do not accept the reality, modify our thinking and reset our goals,then life becomes a hopeless disarray of haunting memories  and toxic emotions.

On the other hand,when we strive to make a new beginning we become wiser and stronger,better able tolerate any kind of adversity in the future too.Bear with this egregious change because:-- 

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