Happiness in this whirl-pool of social networking

social-network has many benefits.It keeps us busy and well informed.We come to know about the nuances of the world around us-what is in vouge and what is redundant.

But what does it do to our mind-set?Do we feel inferior,incompetent or isolated in this whirlpool?Does it leave us depressed or elated?This is one query which deserves pondering.After all our progress and achievements depend upon how we feel.

So here is a post about social-networking and happiness.Most of the chats on social media describe the owners' achievements,their special days and the likes or dislikes which they recieve.Viewed from a neutral vantage point,not all chats may be true or authentic.But they do have a lot of impact on our minds.In order to gauge our own status in this milieu let us consider our own behaviour first.

1. Do we believe all the chats on the social-network as being 100% true and leave no space for our own judgement?
2. Comparisons-Do we tend to compare our own status,achievements,friend circle and popularity with those of others?A friend might be good in developing social relationships but I may have some other talent.
3. Are we ignoring real-time relationships and connecting only through  phone?
4. Are we proactive?Do we    face problems as soon as they appear or do we dilly-dally and spend time on the social media to ease our minds?

According to Dalai Lama "Happiness is not something ready-made.It comes from our own actions".So here are a few pointers to guide us all:

Flexibility-Life may not follow the road-map laid down by you.Unforeseen events can pose  problems.Flexibility  alone can keep us sane.Even Lord Ram had to face a down-turn in his youth.He gauged the circumstances and acted accordingly.Ups and downs are a part of life.Those who lose courage after a set-back will not be able to correct their circumstances and find happiness.

Gratefulness=One discord or a negative event is only-THAT-one part of life.It does not eliminate other factors which are still working for you.Be thankful for them and take their help to move forward.

Rmination-Thinking all the time about how happy you were,or how in past everything  took place just the way you wanted it to;is no way to be happy.Obsessing about the negative events only causes misery.Rumination ruins happiness.

Negativity-We meet all kinds of people in life-some may be cheerful and positive while some others may always be obsessed because of their fears and tragedies.Associating with the second kind will overshadow your own cheerfulness.Shun them where possible.

Me-time-In the routine of daily life,find time to follow pursuits which make you happy.

Keeping the above elements in mind will save you from heartache so that you can tread your path and be happy.

Inoculation Against Mental Disorders?

We all take inoculations against various diseases and they do protect us also.I wish there was  an inocultion against mental disorders too.Then we would be free of anxiety,depression,suicidal thoughts and other such anomalies.But there isn't any such preventive mechanism.Psychiatrists,psychologists and counsellors arrive only after the bug has bitten.

So I began to think how do I protect myself from these evils?Let me share my thoughts with you all-

1. It is not as if God has been especially kind to me.I too have gone through many difficulties,traumas and trgedies.But my best-and most dependable-companion through all those phases has been rationality.If I find myself against a tough situation I automatically begin to speculate how it transpired ,whether I did something wrong or whether it is the doing of an opponent or whether it is merely my luck at work.Am I reading too much into a chance happening or should I take steps to protect myself, what should my rection be?Rational thinking guides me about my response and behaviour.
2. Acceptance-I might be saddled with a relative,neighbour or colleague whom I dislike,or just cannot stand.Or an annoying event may have shed a dark shadow on my personality.I can't oust these people or that event out of my life,so what should I do?I merely accept such factors as a part of life and concentrate on how to make the best of a bad situation.Yeah,I am learning new skills!
3. Gratitude-All is never lost.It is lost only when we take our last breath.If there has been a major climax in my life,I would be disturbed,no doubt, but I would also thank God that so many other factors are still as they were.Ups & downs are a part of life.Even lord Ram had to spend 14 year in woods-taht too after a royal birth.Am I someone special that my life should always follow my dictates?
4. Diversion-We humans are blessed with a special quality-our brains can only function on one particular track at a time.If I am depressed because my boss ignored me while handing out promotions to others,many other similar episodeswill come to the fore.But if I begin to straighten my desk,sort out important documents,throw out the trash then I would have shoved my depression to the background.You can also solve puzzles  or read a book to provide new channels to your brain.Diversion is the best answer.
5. Exercise-No matter how hard we try,tensions will come.Along with them come insomnia,body stiffness and different aches and pains.Anxiety readies the body to fight an enemy,increases the flow of harmful chemicals which play havoc with our body and it's systems.If we do exercise,Yoga or brisk walking then these pernicious chemicals are used up,leavind us calm.Try it.

The above habits have always helped me to handle the problems of life.I hope they will benefit you too!

Compassion,Care and Consideration

 We all send felicitations and happy messages to our known ones on special occasions.The senders and receivers,both experince a rush of joy.But after a while this bubbles down like water poured from a height.The challenges,responsibilities and worries of daily life monopolise our time and efforts.This pushes many people back to their solitary,less cared for quarters.Anxiety and loneliness take over.It is difficult for them to take the initiatve to come forward because of a fear that they might be tagged as cumbersome time-wasters.

Can we-those who are not inhibited by such compunctions-take a step forward and help them join the mainstream once more?If we are more concerned about the people around us;those who are not seen at places they used to haunt earlier,a genuine smile,a cogent remark or a concerned query could give them the impetus to get out of their  refuge and talk to us.

If your neighbour is less active than he always was,don't just wonder.Go a step forward and ask if he was well.Or an unusual lack of greeting from someone you are pally  with could be a signal that all was not well in his life.Your concern could give him the fillip to come out with his worries and thus lighten the load on his heart.If you can offer a viable solution to his problems,so much the better.What are friends for?

Sometimes asking a friend about his problem could be regarded as intrusive or derogatory.But his facial expressions,his gait and his general demeanour can reveal whether or not all is well in his life.A couple of positive remarks from your side though,could uplift his mood.

Life,as we all know,is full of ups and downs,achievements and failures,happiness and misery,hope and despair.There are moments in everyone's life when s/he could do with a real hug or a shoulder to cry on.Social media can give theoretical advice but where is that hug or a shoulder?Blessed are those who are surrounded by loving friends and relatives but not everybody has a support-system he or she can rely upon.Under the circumstances those on the periphery or fringe too can be of immense help.

If we see someone lost in his thoughts,unaware of his surroundings, a step forward from our side could uplift his mood.Even a small support from our side could dredge someone from #anxiety.His hope will increase,leading to a new resilience and stamina.

The benefits of your initiative will spread both ways-you too will feel nice after having done your duty as a fellow human being.

The Return of #Anxxiety and #Depression

Personality Traits Which Are a Risk Factor For #Anxiety or #Depressionhttps://jeeteraho.blogspot.com/2022/02/personality-traits-which-are-risk.html

Self-help For Anxiety And Depression

 Experts tell us that Mental Disorders are on the rise.Everyone experiences anxiety at some time or the other but sometimes it deepens into depression or a host of other Mental Disorders.The stigma attached to such maladies prevents people from consulting a professional or even admitting that they too are victims.

Hence they try to tackle it according to their own acumen and will-power.Most people know about aids like exercise,meditation,pranayam and positive thinking which can and do mitigate anxiety.A lesser known asset which can also pitch them on the path to recovery is writing a daily journal-that is recording their thoughts,emotions and activities every day.

Anxietry or depression spin from negative thoughts which lead us to conclude that our life,personality,future prospects and relationships are dismal and nothing can improve them.But writing a diary gives us the space to evaluate our behaviour and thought processes once again,so that we can rectify them if  necessary.

When you write your diary pay special attention to your moods.Also what you did to improve your mood if it was woebegone to begin with.At the end of the day or on the next day,recapitulate whether whatever you did after getting up,dissipated your worries or aggravated them.Mark that which helped you to overcome negative thoughts and vow to do it daily.

Overcoming anxiety is an important part of one's health and wellness but there are so many other responsibilities-which,if attended-will give you a happy,healthy and full life.For example you may be hiding in your room,unnecessarily snubbing your acqaintances or shirking your duties.There are many fronts on which a tense person can go wrong.Naturally this can create negativity or lead to nsavory consequences.Evaluate your performance on such fronts when you write your diary.If you are failing in an important facet  then try to do better the next day.Set your targets and and attempt to remove the hurdles which bar you from doing this.

Despite best efforts crises and calamities do occur.The journal is always there to write about such events and avail catharsis.This will lessen your agony.You can then analyse what went wrong and how to rectify it.Your journal is also a good place to ponder about oncoming challenges and how you should tackle them.

Thus we see that keeping a diary enables clear thinking,reduces anxiety or depression,helps you to overcome your faults,endows  resilience and boosts stamina,resulting in a new ,better you.What a wonderfull gadget to stay well and move forward.

You may also like my blog posts - 

Personality Traits which are Risk

Your self help guide for Eliminating

Cognitive Distortions,Magnification and Maximisation

The Parameters Of #Happiness

 We all desire happiness above everything else but what exactly constitutes happiness?Does it lie in a happy family,a healthy body,a dandy job,a fat bank balance,a beautiful home or lots of fame,prestige and power? Where does it stem from and how does one grab it?Ask anyone and you will get different answers,arising naturally from that person's unfulfilled ambitions,latent desires or envious aspirations.Different people are likely to have different items on top of their lists.

When you reach your targeted space it blossoms into many more must-haves.Landing a cushy job is not enough, you need a splendid home in a high profile locality,replete with all the amenities as soon as possible.

Reaching the much awaited status of  a CEO entails that your status should latch on to the grapevine and bring additional benefits like recognition,publicity, power and privileges.

Thus we see that we cannot stop after we reach one landmark.That feeling of satisfaction at having attained a target is short lived and we begin to hunger for additional benefits.But every acquisition brings with it new responsibilities,chores and worries.Happiness slithers away.As we run this race, the fun and joy of life takes second place.We get scarce time to enjoy what we already own.

Working for your goals,attaining higher targets can go on and on.Ultimately what can give you real happiness is that quality of contentment which will give you happiness at any rung of the ladder.

When Life Goes Hay-wire

No matter how systematic and well organised we are,unforeseen circumstances,traumas and tragedies know no barriers.We all have to face them at some time or the other.Some are overcome while some others refuse to budge.Ultimately one has to adapt to them.Or hanker for the old times despondently. 

Adaption is certainly the better option,but it is more easily said than done.Emotions overwhelm in the presence of a crisis and block remedial actions-thus prolonging suffering .Therefore the first step at such times should be to control emotions and think logically

How?Start with a critical analysis of the given situation--is it possible to undo it or is it here to stay?If latter is the answer,then you will have to find  a good way of living with it.Ready your arsenal.Make a checklist of your strengths and  potentials.Analyse the available options.Do what is needed to lessen the negative impacts of this trauma.Look at the larger picture and be grateful for what still remains.

Are you plagued by guilt that your own actions somehow set off this cavalcade?You probably did what was best under the circumstances.But things intervene and it is not possible to foretell the consequential fall-outs of every action.Certain things have to be accepted as destiny or God's will.   

Destiny has it's own road map. It may have swung your life in a new, unknown direction,but it is possible that some good opportunities or benefits too may be waiting for you on this road.Take heart from this thought and adapt with a positive mindset.

Don't delve into the good old days and detach yourself from the present. It is the present that you have to live in and improve. Go for it. If need be take help from your family and friends .Talk to them.Do not isolate yourself.

As you do all this,things will improve and soon these days too,will become good old days. 

 

Kindness

 The other day I went to the CSD outlet to buy groceries.My list was pretty long- lots of stuff to be purchased.At the cash counter ahead of me was a young lady,about the same age as my daughter,a Lt Col's wife I surmised.She stayed back when her transaction was done,saying she will help me to pick up all those items from the trolley and put them on the counter.She did all this heavy work for me and again,the same when the items had to be put back into the trolley.I was flabbergasted.It was very touching.I could only thank and 'God Bless' her in return.People are so busy in their lives thet this sort of kindness is rare.

Another such incident happened at the Kota railway station a month ago.We had gone rather early to see off our daughter.I asked the Assistant Station Master where A1 was likely to stop.He replied that it will be at the other end of the platform.So we scurried there.Another train arrived before the one we were waiting for and what do we see,the Station Master comes running fast to inform us that our train's A1 one will be stopping just where we had started from,since this train was longer than the one which had just left.Our train halted for ony 4 minutes and he was worried that we would miss it.I wonder how he guessed that we had come for this train and not the previous one.Since I had not given him the train's number,hence this confusion.His kindness,and going the extra mile was very touching.

Talking of kindness reminds me of another post which I had written eight years ago.Here is the link to that post When Strangers Leave Pleasant Memories.I have forgotten that magistrate's  face but I still remember his thoughtful piece of advice.

Such incidents invoke a desire to be kind to whosoever needs it and in this way kindness grows-making our society a better place to live in.Long live the kind angels. 

“Remember, there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” —Scott Adams