Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Third Dimension

Success and happiness are inter-related.While success is an important ingredient of  happiness ; happiness in turn facilitates  success.But there is another factor which is a prior requirement for both of these to happen and that is emotional maturity,emotional fitness;or EQ.

 EQ is the ability to understand one's own emotions & have control over them on one hand;and to recognize the emotions of others & be able to get along with them ,on the other.It determines to a large extent,how successful,happy or popular a person will be.We often come across people who are physically and mentally fit & have brilliant academic history;but they fail to realize their full potential.Success evades them and their relationships too,leave much to be desired.A deeper insight is likely to reveal that they lack EQ,which would have helped them to bond with people & make best use of available circumstances and resources.

Understanding our own emotions

A person having a high EQ knows his strengths & weaknesses very well.

He will channelize his energies in the direction in which his talents lie.

He has a clear idea of his goals,& the best way to achieve them.

His intentions & actions are streamlined.

He is confident of his abilities,& can take independent decisions.

Since he knows his shortcomings and does not have any false hang-ups,he does not hesitate to ask for help when necessary.

He has ample self-confidence & self-esteem.

He loves his surroundings & fellow beings.

That is why forming intimate relationships is easy for him.

Knowing his emotions is not all;he also has sufficient control over them:Come a ticklish situation,& he knows how to respond.

Anger,hatred & jealousy are kept safely in check.

Unexpected twists & turns do not fluster him because he has confidence in his ability to handle any situation.

He can adapt to unfavorable circumstance,& is quick to forgive those who rub him the wrong way.

If he commits a mistake he does not hesitate to say sorry & make amends.

He is equanimous in all situations & balanced in his reactions.

His behavior is consistent & predictable-no mood swings there!

Understanding others

He can easily decipher the emotions & intentions of other people.

He respects their views, but also knows how to convert them to his own line of thinking.

He is a powerful motivator.

When it comes to interactions with others;empathy & an ability to look at contentious issues from others' point of view is his forte. 

He does not hold back praise & appreciation.

He can also handle their outbursts without acrimony.

He does not hold grudges-knows how to forgive.

Always ready with a helping hand.He is a strong support for anyone in trouble.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that these skills bequeath a distinct advantage to a person in personal,social & professional areas.Other things being equal,a person with a high EQ has better chances of success & happiness than others.The upheavals of life sometimes make it difficult for us to remain in full control but a good EQ can definitely make it easier.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Against #Oppression

Who are you?What gave you the right,
To scorn my thoughts & still my flight ?

I had possibilities,i had self-respect,
They lie shattered,screaming in dust.

Your wanton ways,& wilful might,
Fill me with disgust,but hold me tight.

Who will pay for a spirit oppressed,
a chirpy heart laid to rest?

This trail will end,in a desolate den,
It's never too late to make amends.

Discard this blight,heal yourself,
It has only given you paltry pelf.

Retrospect,and you will find,
Tender and frail,are ties that bind!

Aim to gain what is true & lasts,
Might & force don't win hearts!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Online Help

Hi all,
 I shall begin by introducing myself.I am Indu Chhibber,a Medical & Psychiatric Social Worker.I did my M.S.W. from Delhi University & worked at A.I.I.M.S & Nari Niketan before shifting out of Delhi.

I am running 'SAHYOG' * an Anti Suicide Helpline & Family Counseling Centre at Kota,Rajasthan.It was established in 2004.Through it many suicides have been averted & mental patients  too have benefited from Psychotherapy,Behavior Therapy & Casework Counseling.Cases of Anxiety,Depression,Personality Disorders,Marital Discord & other relationship problems too received help & showed improvement.

We often go through periods when we are depressed & agitated.Most of the times we manage to come out of it by ourselves but sometimes, major upheavals like death,disease,separation,failure or loss leave us shattered.At such times a professional can extend support and suggest a solution which is objective & not colored by overwhelming emotions.

It has been my experience that many people  shy away from visiting counselors or psychiatrists because of the stigma attached to Mental Disorders.I am offering online help in order to overcome this hurdle & I do hope that I will be able to help someone.It goes without saying that all information received by me will be strictly confidential.This is a completely free service and the fee is the satisfaction of helping a fellow being in distress.

You can contact me through my mail at

Take care !

*"SAHYOG" is a Hindi word meaning cooperation.