Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Ten Ways of Terminating #Negative Selftalk

Self-talk is that inner dialogue which constantly passes judgments about situations, events, people and the person himself.While positive self-talk will goad him to forge ahead, do more and be more, negative self-talk will condemn and discourage him. This has many adverse consequences.

Thoughts being the  precursors of action, if your thoughts proclaim that you are no good,you cannot achieve a given target,or you are going to fail a coming test, then you start the battle on the wrong foot.The enthusiasm needed to energize you is missing.Your efforts will be feeble and you are likely to make your premonitions come true. 

This kind of thinking has the power to neutralize your potential.You might miss a golden opportunity if your mind tells you that it is way above your level;thereby losing a chance to notch up your confidence and climb up the ladder.Negative self-talk usurps confidence and kills enthusiasm.It also generates stress and anxiety. 

If you feel that your self-talk is thwarting your progress and leaving  you disconsolate,it is time to take action.

1-Be mindful of your mind's chatter.
Heed any derogatory remarks coming from inside you.Observe how they upset you.

2-Notice the triggers.
Try to decipher the factors which trigger those remarks so that you can obviate them.

3-Accept yourself in totality.
Every person is unique.Even if you are an introvert looking admiringly at gregarious souls, not as good an orator as your best friend, not thundering along in your career as you had aspired to,fighting fits of blues now and then;all this is not entirely your doing.Circumstances and past experiences have made you who you are.Deriding yourself even as you attempt to reach your coveted goals will only derail your efforts. 

4-Unfavorable comparisons.
Unfavorable comparisons with others are often responsible for self condemnation.The social media adds fuel to the fire.Avoid them and see if you feel better.

5-Check the rationality of your self-talk.
Test it against the following parameters :
  • Are you making a mountain out of a molehill?Is your shortcoming really as momentous as you think it is?
  • Are you filtering out the positives and focusing on one negative aspect of yourself.Looking at the positive aspects of your own persona or the situation at hand will lift your despondence.
  • Are you minimizing your skills and maximizing your defects or the gravity of a situation?Take care,because this can give rise to fears and apprehensions.  
6-Don't curse yourself for minor infringements.
Relax!It is only human to falter now and then.This does not obliterate your good qualities.

7-Overcome the compulsion to be perfect.
Perfection is a mirage.A desire to be perfect in everything prompts many to lambaste themselves for every little lapse in work,or every hair out of place.Looks and body- structure are today a major cause of negative thoughts,but the photo-shopped images we see in the media are not always genuine.You don't have to be a sizzling diva in order to be liked.

8-Be very specific about what troubles you.
Saying "I am an absolute idiot,anybody can fool me," is too broad a statement.It courts depression.Say instead,"The vendor gave me rotten apples,next time I will be more careful." This is a more constructive way of looking at what happened.

9-Do not say to yourself what you would not say to a dear friend.
We often label ourselves as ugly,good for nothing,a fat slob,or a dumb duffer.But we are never as harsh with a friend or a sibling.Why not be as courteous to our own selves?

10-Basically,it is poor self esteem which is at the base of negative self-talk.
Remember the positive aspects of your personality.For more tips on improving your self worth read this post.  

Confidence deficit,a distressing episode,a recent or not so recent failure,a chance remark by someone--so many other things too can spur negative self-talk.It is true that negative self-talk can guide us to iron out the quirks in our personalities but more often than not it is an insidious enemy which not only lies but also generates stress and anxiety.When we shift to more positive thinking we can be our own motivator,realize our true potential,and find peace and fulfillment.


Image courtesy google search.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Denial--A Kind Of #Self-Sabotage

It is a given:we yearn  for the old,the familiar,and the comfortable.These give us a sense of security,a conviction that no earth shaking change is looming on the horizon.We snuggle in our cocoons even when contrary vibrations erupt.But life is not static,the future does not follow our roadmap,and unpleasant changes too,arrive.When this happens,we ignore it as long as possible,not knowing that this could worsen the imminent.

Those who are physically and mentally strong will pierce the fog to perceive what is in the offing,but all are not adequately blessed with such attributes.If it is not deficit bodily strength which spews denial in some,it could be a fearful mindset or even misplaced optimism in others.This tendency to bury our heads in sand manifests itself in many spheres.

The first is:
Mental Illness
Our mental health is the worst casualty of denial.At the first inkling of anxiety,depression,O.C.D,or any other mental disorder,we tend to brush it off as a chance happening.No harm,if it really was that!But when the symptoms recur or exacerbate,ignoring them can worsen the prognosis.

Admittedly,it is extremely difficult to accept that our mental faculties are diminishing or the pressures of life are more than we can handle,but this is exactly what happens if we ignore the rumblings.If anxiety or depression continue for more than two weeks or significantly disrupt our routines,it is best to put on our shoes and consult a doctor,preferably a psychiatrist. 

Physical Diseases 
Not far behind is the impulse to ignore serious aberrations in our health. We often turn a blind eye to the emergence of a symptom which might denote a serious disease. Pain in the chest? It must be due to gas. Numbness in the hands?Naturally,because it is so cold.

We do this because knowing the symptoms of many ghastly diseases,we shudder to hear a doctor's diagnosis.But if the verdict is worrisome it is best to know it at the soonest,and if not then too,a prompt consultation will allay our fears.By delaying a doctor's consultation we lose a chance to combat a disease in the initial stage itself.

However,a word of caution is absolutely necessary at this point.It is good to be aware of marked changes in our well-being;but rushing to the doctor for minor ailments could bring in it's wake certain unsavory procedures which might in fact be,detrimental to our health;as enumerated by me in this post. 

Personality traits and Behavior
Coming to our personality traits and behavior,we are often ignorant of how our habits,attitudes,presumptions,prejudices,and mannerisms impair our goals and aspirations.Even after an indication to this effect,we shy away from admitting that our behavior has been in any way responsible for a debacle.An inability to look at the reality squarely in the face prevents us from amending our behavior and curtailing our losses.

We can do nothing to avoid the calamities which strike all of a sudden, but many unfavorable events show some signs of their coming in the nascent stage.We can take a lead on what is about to come by recognizing those intangible signals and taking suitable precautions. 

It is human nature to cringe from things unpleasant or unfavorable,but side-stepping adverse reality can harm us at many levels.A deleterious element left unattended,will later on make it's presence felt in a more concrete manner.Early awareness facilitates maximum preparedness and minimizes the damage.Fore-warned is fore-armed.