Saturday, February 22, 2020

Seven Tips For Dealing With An Acrimonious Kin

We come across people of various kinds during this sojourn called life.We try to shake off those who are acrimonious,inimical or downright offensive,but what if such a person-friend,relative or colleague-cannot be avoided and the relationship cannot be terminated?Such people do crop up sometimes and they ruin our peace of mind.I think the only alternative left for safeguarding our own serenity is to modify our own behavior so that these encounters do not cross the line of decency-at least from our side,and preferably from both sides.

The other day I was feeling very sad because of the behavior of one such person(let me call her P )and a plethora of inconsiderate, rude and aggressive acts on her part came rushing to my mind.It made me cry.I gave vent to tears to cleanse my mind and sat down with an excellent cup of tea to divert myself.After a while the tsunami of hurt sentiments subsided and I became my rational self once again.

Why was I so anguished?This was not the first time that it had happened.All those ghosts from the past testified to it.P was the same old person and I too was the same old Indu.If I had taken it in the past I could take it in the future too.In fact I should have been immune to it by now because what cannot be cured has to be endured.In order to manage such an imbroglio more smoothly next time,I decided to write a rule-book for such occasions.Here goes:-

  1. Perhaps P's behavior stems from her own insecurity or a well concealed inferiority complex which compels her to belittle me so that she can feel superior.
  2. Maybe she is annoyed about her life conditions and I just happened to cross her path at a touchy moment.
  3. I must not inflame the situation by giving a sharp retort.A brief neutral remark should be enough.
  4. When ever possible I shall introduce a touch of humor to lighten the ambiance,taking care not to instigate her in any way.
  5. I should allow time to pass before encountering her again so that both of us have recovered our composure by then.
  6. It is important to recall the instances when she has been helpful to me.After all she does mean something to me,or I would have broken the tie long back.
  7. I will also stiffen my back ,analyse if I have in any way encouraged/allowed her to encroach my space.
I strongly believe that our life is a learning process.Even such individuals serve a very useful purpose:they stimulate us to grow,to learn,to acquire new skills and evolve;as I have done--become more tolerant and empathetic after associating with her.So the next time you come across a vituperative person,don't fret and fume;be thankful that s/he is helping you to evolve,become a better person.