#Red Flags Of #Suicidal Students

I live in Kota a,go-to-place,for many aspiring doctors and engineers.Students from many places come here to join the local Coaching Institutes.What pains me immensely is the fact that many of them commit suicide when they feel that they cannot achieve their target.I have written about the possible causs of such incidents in my post about the Coaching Institutes of Kota.

Let us now consider the Red Flags which could indicate that a student is considering suicide--

• The student stops going to his classes when he realizes that he cannot fathom the subject being taught.
• His performance deteriorates.
• He avoids meeting his class mates and chums.
• He does not take part in social or institutional get-togethers.
• He becomes lethargy or sleepy.
• His remarks are often very pessimistic.He may talk of death and what happens after someone dies.
• He may say he has no chance of passing.
• He laments the lack of support from anywhere.
• He becomes violent and irritable.
• he may begin to take drugs or alcohol.
• He has a break-up with his close friend.
• After a lenghty isolation he suddenly appears tp be happy.

The above factors could inicate that a student is about to take the plunge.If someone notices this and talks to him,the impending tragedy can be averted.Hence this post.

Though written about boys,it is equally applicable to girls.

Meditation-It's Benefits

 

Meditation  has been a part of India's spiritual practice since eons.Today's hectic lifestyle and concomitant travails impel many in India and across the seas to try it as a soother or a benefactor.It enables the followers to fathom the pitfalls and intricasies of daily life which goad them.

• Lately science too has taken note of this tendency and one such research came up with the following result-

"Modern diagnostic and imaging techniques, like electroencephalography (EEG) and functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans, show that meditation can positively affect your brain and mental health."

By https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21521-psychosomatic-disorder

In a nutshell, meditation implies sitting straight in a comfortable position and focusing upon  a single object like your breath, heart, the space between your eyes, or a mantra. In the beginning, your mind will be overcome by many thoughts of different kinds.You should merely take it back to the target you have decided to focus upon each time with a smile. It can take many days or weeks to achieve success but the benefits will certainly be there!

The Benefits-

• Meditation calms the mind and eases tensions.When you sit down to meditate, various thoughts will flicker through your mind but when you focus on a single object unrelated to the hassles of daily life, you forget them for a while.You learn to shelve them.The brain can only think about one thing at a time.Focussing on your chosen target enables you to forget your worries, and peace prevails. The feelings of guilt, shame, anger or frustration arising from the past subside, and you are able to fathom the cause of those problems.This is an excellent tool for nixing anxiety.
• It increases the power to concentrate on any one thing. It primes our sense faculties and also helps us to control them. Focusing upon a single object day after day teaches us to concentrate upon the work at hand, which is essential for achieving success in daily life.
• Meditation improves the power of memory.Research at The Massachussets General Hospital in Boston found that regular meditation increases blood flow to the cerebral cortex which controls mental functions like attention,learning,concentration and memory.Find this at -https://www.memory-improvement-tips.com/meditation-and-memory.html

Meditation increases self-awareness. Strange though it may seem, we bumble through life committing the same mistakes, misinterpreting reality and drawing wrong conclusions.When we meditate we become aware of  the quirks in our personality, the deep-seated complexes, irrational prejudices, unfounded fears and unreasonable expectations. Intrusive thoughts which could have been the precursers of a severe emotional problem are nixed. When the labyrinths of our unconscious mind are laid open, we can understand the emotional turmoil which lies at the root cause of our anxiety, and sort it out.

• It promotes the understanding of others. When we become aware of our own fault-lines we feel more attuned to those with whom we had been at cross purpose till now.Meditation confers a largeness of heart-an ability to overlook others' foibles and transgressions, to relate to them on an equal footing.
• It augments our confidence and will-power.It has a miraculous effect upon our self esteem.The sharpening of our mental faculties results in greater confidence and will-power. We feel in control.
• Meditation can off-set many physical ailments like migraine, hypertension, aches and pains, allergies and addictions.WHO says nine out of ten diseases are psychosomatic.When meditation calms the mind and eases anxiety the diseaes too vanish.

Today's lifestyle,with it's countless aspirations and hassles is tailor-made for mental turmoil and restlessness.Meditation is a great tool for easing the mind and gaining  tranquility.

When Life Goes Hay-wire

No matter how systematic and well organised we are,unforeseen circumstances,traumas and tragedies know no barriers.We all have to face them at some time or the other.Some are overcome while some others refuse to budge.Ultimately one has to adapt to them.Or hanker for the old times despondently. 

Adaption is certainly the better option,but it is more easily said than done.Emotions overwhelm in the presence of a crisis and block remedial actions-thus prolonging suffering .Therefore the first step at such times should be to control emotions and think logically

How?Start with a critical analysis of the given situation--is it possible to undo it or is it here to stay?If latter is the answer,then you will have to find  a good way of living with it.Ready your arsenal.Make a checklist of your strengths and  potentials.Analyse the available options.Do what is needed to lessen the negative impacts of this trauma.Look at the larger picture and be grateful for what still remains.

Are you plagued by guilt that your own actions somehow set off this cavalcade?You probably did what was best under the circumstances.But things intervene and it is not possible to foretell the consequential fall-outs of every action.Certain things have to be accepted as destiny or God's will.   

Destiny has it's own road map. It may have swung your life in a new, unknown direction,but it is possible that some good opportunities or benefits too may be waiting for you on this road.Take heart from this thought and adapt with a positive mindset.

Don't delve into the good old days and detach yourself from the present. It is the present that you have to live in and improve. Go for it. If need be take help from your family and friends .Talk to them.Do not isolate yourself.

As you do all this,things will improve and soon these days too,will become good old days. 

 

This Surge in Mental Disorders, And How To Safeguard Yourself

Those were the days when life was simple,families large,bum-chums nearby and domiciles almost permanent.If one was worried about something there was always help at hand :if not in the form of parents,then friends and associates.But all this has been swept away with the sands of time.

Migration to new cities is the norm,aspirations are sky high and competition grim.Real time companions-especially the old tried and tested ones-are fewer,and loneliness is the last straw that sometimes breaks the camel's back.While tensions have rocketed enormously,those who could assuage our perturbed minds are few or far away.

No wonder #mentaldisorders are galloping all over.There is a greater need for support systems than there ever was.Since traditional support systems have dwindled we need to look at alternative sources of help-these are available in the form of psychologists,counselors,psychiatrists and on-line help.But how many of those who suffer from emotional or psychological problems make use of these services?

"NMHS 2015-16 reveals that nearly 15% of Indian adults (those above 18 years) are in need of active interventions for one or more mental health issues;".But few seek professional help if self-help measures fail to give respite.A major obstacle in the way of doing this of course is,stigma,the impression that mental patients are weak and incompetent,and they don't do enough to solve their problems.Since very few people talk of their psychological problems,every sufferer thinks that he or she is the rotten apple and they must not divulge it.This is how the stigma is born and perpetuated.

This kind of thinking prevents people from admitting to a mental disorder and seeking help.If their self help measures do not work, their condition worsens till psychiatric medicines are the only answer.I am not competent to discuss the efficacy or desirability of these medicines but I do believe that it is far better to seek help in the initial stages rather than having to depend upon medicines.This raises an important question-
When to seek help?
This is no doubt a difficult question.Transitory disappointments or griefs sometimes hit hard  but we manage to bounce up again after a certain period.The field of mental health is nebulous and ever changing-especially for mental patients.No two persons suffering from anxiety will have similar worries or fears.They may experience various levels of stress or tranquility even in the same day.
The thumb rule is to check yourself against the following parameters:--

1. Have you become quiet and asocial?
2. Do you feel sad and disinterested most of the time?
3. Do you neglect your daily routine?
4. Do you find it difficult to take decisions?
5. Are even simple tasks too laborious for you?
6. Do you have suicidal thoughts?
7. Do you have poor sleep or sleep too much?
8. Do you have poor appetite or eat too much?
9. Do you have gastric problems and sundry aches and pains?
10. Have you become angry and irritable?

If the answers to most of these questions are 'yes' and this has been going on for more than two months then it is time you took the help of a mental health professional.The choice is between a psychologist,counselor,general practitioner or a psychiatrist.The first two will assist you to think rationally about your problem and delve into to the causes of this imbroglio.You can open your heart to them.They will extend emotional support and also respect your privacy.If they think you need medicines to help you along,they will refer you to a doctor.If you are hesitant about consulting a psychiatrist then even a GP or a family doctor can be of immense help-as he was in my own case.

Suffice it to say that once you observe your daily life has changed drastically because of your mood swings,take immediate steps to improve your mental health and reclaim your life.There can be no health without mental health.

You may also like https://jeeteraho.blogspot.com/2019/02/your-self-help-guide-for-eliminating.html.

https://www.cchr.org/quick-facts/psychiatric-drugs-side-effects.html

#Stress Busters To Keep You Cool

What better time than this one to talk about stress?Stress is good and stress is bad.It motivates you to work harder and faster but it can also bug you to death.It is not difficult to pinpoint the stress which is helpful or the one which is killing you but ousting the pernicious kind from your life is sometimes hard.

It has been categorized by various experts into three classes:Acute,Episodic Acute and Chronic.Another way of categorizing it would be as Physical,Mental and Emotional.All three require different kinds of stress-busters.Relief is faster if you match the remedy with the malady.

Physical Stress

Physical stress assails us when we work too hard for too long or there is a looming deadline in front of us.Conquering it is the easiest of all.Here are some tips:
*Cut down your to-do list and prioritize that which is most important.

*Break down a complex task into smaller,more manageable parts and tackle each one systematically.
*Do one thing at a time,shun multitasking. 
*Intersperse hard labor with small breaks.
*Do a couple of stretching exercises to relax taut muscles,or take a small walk to infuse mobility in stiff limbs.
*Drink a glass of water-it is very refreshing and we often ignore it in a frenzy to finish our tasks.
*A cup of tea or coffee too,helps to relax.

*Close your eyes and lie down for a while if the setting allows.

Mental Stress

We experience mental stress when we face a problem which is more challenging than our usual workload.This also happens if the goal is not clear or one has to choose between two or more,difficult options.Sometimes,other things being right;inadequate paraphernalia jumps in to spoil the broth.

*If a problem is mind boggling or beyond your purview,seek help from someone who you think,knows more about it.In this way you can save your time and energy as well as eliminate stress.       

*If you would rather do it on your own then take a break and relax for a while.Do something which never fails to calm you.This will allow your churning mind to stabilize and your thoughts will become clearer.
*If time is not a constraint then sleeping over a tough problem often provides the correct solution.As we sleep,our brain continues to work over what had been foxing us and the next day a probable solution pops up,as if dispatched by a kind fairy.I have often experienced this magic-it works.

Emotional Stress

Emotional stress can come from any source:tragedies,difficult relationships,contrary circumstances,a sudden loss,past memories, or worries of the future.It is certainly the most agonizing of all and the most difficult to boot out too.The mind returns to that painful,irritating,humiliating incident or worry again and again.Such triggers cannot be avoided but what you can do is,build a firewall around your heart. 
*Take life easy,don't fret about every aberration or altercation.
*Vent it out.Talk about your problem with those who care for you-or to a professional.
*If not this,then write down your feelings in a journal.
*Exercise,Tai chi,breathing exercises or meditation-all these are great stress busters.
*Sitting in the lap of nature is calming,it will enable you to think things out coolly.

*The best way to divert your mind from agonizing thoughts is to pick up something to do.When you focus on the work in hand your thinking will automatically peruse a new channel.Do it-it is very effective.
*I have found that the best way to forget a worry is to work on an extreme sudoku.I forget everything else when I do this.

*Taking up a strenuous work like gardening,car washing or de-cluttering is also helpful.Such labor consumes the surging adrenaline and cortisol leaving you calmer

Whatever you do to de-stress yourself,don't start any kind of substance abuse,it gives only momentary respite and is harmful in the long run.The thumb rule is to adopt a positive attitude,be grateful for what you have and look at the broader picture.The pits and troughs will automatically look smaller.

The Ebbing Tide

The jabs and jibes
ultimately subside
an ebbing tide
makes one wise

who can give me
sorrow or pain
I only got
what was ordained 

bitterness or rancor
no more pinch
but from future
I sometimes flinch

the road ahead
is not so clear
murky waters
burgeon fears

the future however
was always dim
come what may
I shall win. 

Feeling Edgy?Avoid this...

No matter how well adjusted or balanced we are,there are times when we feel so agitated that we wish to be left alone to sit and mope.It is not a bad idea too.Sitting quietly,away from the hum-drum of life enables us to thrash out our problems,find solutions and gain control over our emotions.The last bit-gaining control over emotions,is extremely important because if the mind is swirling with pain,rage,hostility,jealousy or remorse we cannot behave normally or choose the best course of action.

What to do When anxiety becomes too overpowering has been discussed many a times in this blog,but this post is about what not to do when you are feeling low.The pointers given below will save you from doing anything you could regret later:

• Avoid company to eliminate the chances of sniping at others or simply cutting them off.
• It is natural to misunderstand others when you are feeling sad or touchy.Even simple remarks can be construed as jibes.Someone's attempt to give you space or respect your privacy can be taken as neglect or avoidance.Therefore don't make hasty judgments when you are at the end of your tether,you are likely to form erroneous opinions about people and events.This will naturally impair your relationships.
• If you are feeling mad at someone curb the instinct to blurt out your feelings without wasting any time.You may repent it after you have had time to reconstruct that incident.A better option would be to analyse the genesis of that fiasco.
• Don't make any hasty decisions when you are totally pooped out.Wait till you are more balanced before chalking out your next course of action.Emotions tend to cloud reason.
• Avoid rash actions which could endanger you, like rash driving,suicidal attempts,substance abuse or binge eating.The last two only give temporary respite and do not mend the situation.Going out and having it out with an adversary too is not a good idea.
• If possible,postpone  tasks which are too taxing and not urgent.
• Sit down at a secluded place and focus on your problem.Try to pinpoint why you are so perturbed.Is the matter really that grave or are you making a mountain of a molehill?

Living through a taxing phase is difficult enough without us aggravating it through impulsive,irrational behavior.Therefore it is best to avoid social interactions and major decisions when one is in the throes of inner turmoil.Allowing time to pass promotes clarity and sagacity.Then is the right time to take corrective action and move forward.

Image courtesy google search.

Calamity-Worse Confounded

Sanjay was a tall,well built 16 yr old boy when he visited me a few years back.He was referred by two shopkeepers from whom he used to purchase some items because he looked depressed.Mark,neither his course mates nor his teachers noticed this fact.

He certainly looked very depressed.He had passed the 10th board exams from another state in vernacular medium with good marks.He planned to compete for state government jobs after graduation.But his uncle motivated him to come to Kota,join a coaching institute and do B.Tech from an IIT.So he brushed up his English and came here.

He was a bright student and started with a good rank.After a couple of months the boy with whom he shared his room in a hostel hung himself from the fan.It was Sanjay who broke open the door and found him.Naturally he was devastated.As if this was not enough to numb him,his paternal grandfather expired after one week.

He went home and returned after a week.He was in a state of severe shock even after returning.He divulged that he was crying continuously for two weeks.Then one day he opened his note books and found that they were totally blank.He tried to catch up with others but the link had broken and his rank kept slipping.

It was four months after the double tragedies that the shopkeepers had sent him to me.His initial complaint was that his rank at the institute was slipping.Actually,he was in doldrums about his future.He could not decide what to do.He felt lonely and home sick over here;but he feared that if he went back he would be jeered at,his mother would become a laughing stock and his uncle too would be disappointed.At the same time,he did not want to stay on in Kota.

I asked him to tell me about his life before coming to Kota. He told me that his parents were teachers in his home state.His mother taught in the very school from which he had passed out.Earlier,while he was growing up,she had shifted to a hostel to do M.Ed.He was not much attached to her.He loved his father dearly.

His parents were in town when I interviewed Sanjay. His mother wanted him to stay on for five more months after which she would take leave and come to stay with him. Sanjay was not at all keen at this prospect.I advised his parents to allow him some rest,take him back,and decide about his future after the 12th board exams.The mother was not in favor of this even after oblique counselling.In fact even this was spurious because she had seen her son's condition.The father was mostly quiet.

I asked Sanjay to tell me what they had decided and contact me if he stayed back.His parents were to leave Kota on the next day.There was no communication from him after this.Later on,when I tried to follow it up his mo.number was declared as invalid.I hope he is fit and doing well in whichever field he chose. 

Your Self-help Guide For Eliminating #Anxiety

"Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness,unease or worry that typically occurs in the absence of imminent threat.It differs from fear,which is the body's natural response to immediate danger."
The wide tentacles of anxiety engulf all else.Even the activities which earlier pleased you are now ignored.In order to get rid of it you must first understand how it caught hold of you.

The brain learns from repetition.When you think fearful,worrisome,disturbing thoughts repeatedly,these thought engrave a pathway in the brain and the mind automatically latches on to that path whenever there is a ripple in the wind.Apprehension and worry become a way of reacting to every situation.These emotions trigger the release of stress hormones like Cortisol and Adrenalin which further aggravate your anxiety.

Living with anxiety is tough.You can try the tips given below to get rid of it and live a more enjoyable life:--

Understand your thoughts

Anxiety is the outcome of faulty thought processes.If you scrutinize your thoughts you may find that they are not a true reflection of reality.They are mostly marred by cognitive distortions.

For example you may be making a mountain of a molehill or jumping to the conclusion that an imminent change is going to be disastrous for you.In this way you maximize your difficulty and filter out your problem solving skills which have served you till now,thereby minimizing your own capability to solve your problem.Naturally,the outlook appears bleak.

Inculcate rational thinking

Try to be more rational while assessing situations and forming opinions.Inculcating rational thinking requires sustained efforts because you have to change an established habit which automatically butts in whenever you are in a thinking mode.If the thought of any contingency perturbs you repeatedly,evaluate it on the metric of logic and probability.Push it to the background with a stricture that you shall deal with it when it happens-if it does.Tell yourself that you have managed your affairs till now and shall do even better when the need arises.

Provide new pathways to your thoughts

Whenever you are at a loose end or tense about something,take up an activity which interests you very much and requires total concentration,so that a different line of thinking replaces your negative thoughts.

For example,those who are the intellectual type will forget all else when they play a brain game or solve a puzzle.

For the artistic folks nothing can be more absorbing than dabbling with paints and brushes.

I myself take up stitching when I want to forget my worries.It works like magic.

The spiritual kind experience peace when they listen to devotional songs and reinforce their faith in a supreme being.My own husband benefits immensely from this.

The sporty guys will forget their worries when they play a vigorous game or take up activities which make them sweat.This will have the double benefit of using up surplus stress hormones.

Take up the diversion which interests you to block distressing emotions.It is essential to prevent the mind from going into wrong channels.

Use up the stress hormones

The most effective cure for anxiety is to use up the surplus energy which is running in your blood stream through regular exercise,because it is this energy which robs you of restful sleep and keeps you on tenterhooks.There are so many activities to choose from: running,jogging,gymming,aerobics,dancing,swimming,gardening or yoga.Choose the one which appeals to you so that you will not shirk it.

Do what you feel you cannot do

Anxiety lies.It will tell you that you can't do so many things which you have been doing till now-like driving a vehicle,going to the market,attending a meeting,enjoying a party and talking to your neighbors.If you obey these diktats you will end up feeling morose and inadequate.Defy these directives.Catch the bull by the horns and do what you are scared of doing.This will help to reduce your anxiety.You will experience a wave of joy at having defeated anxiety. 

Stick to your routine

When you are in the grip of anxious thoughts you may not feel like leaving the bed,but if you continue to lie down and keep thinking of all that is going wrong in your life you will feel even worse.On the other hand if you force yourself to rise at the usual time,spruce up yourself and follow your daily routine,you will feel much more confident,optimistic,energetic and in control of your life.This is no mean achievement;considering how anxious thoughts are always rearing to pull you down.

Stay active

Since your mind is tilted towards negativity,such thoughts will come rushing in when your body is idle.Staying active is an effective way of curbing them.However,slogging from morning to night is not a good option too,because anxiety can certainly be very tiring.When your day's work is done pick up an engrossing activity or an old hobby.Meet friends,chat with family,organize your belongings,do whatever soothes your mind and body.

Go out,meet people

Anxiety isolates.Perhaps you think that if you go out and meet people they will spot you have changed.Well,they may or may not,but the longer you hole up in your house the more inept you will become at relating to others.So,put your chin up and saunter out.If you meet people,talk to them,ask about their welfare,take an interest in what is happening around you,you will forget your own problems for some time at least.

Find the root cause of your distress

There are many ways of diverting your attention from disturbing thoughts but the bottom line is to pinpoint where they come from:Is it your attitude which is basically pessimistic?Has your past been such that you do not expect anything good to happen to you?Are you short on confidence or self esteem?Is it your health or a relationship which is making you tense?

Try to strengthen the element which is the probable cause of your problems.And don't bash yourself for being this way.Be kind.Circumstances make us who we are and evolution is an ongoing process.Everybody has some weak point or the other.

Problems will come and you will have to solve them,but you will be better able to do this if the burden of distressing thoughts does not sap your energy.

Live in the present

The mind has no barriers of time or space.Sometimes we agonize about what we did or failed to do in the past or fret about what the future has in store for us.This can neither change what happened in the past nor alter the future in any way.It only destroys our peace of mind.That is why psychologists advise us to live in the moment,be mindful of what is around us.If we focus our thoughts on what needs to be done today,how we can improve our present and be mindfully aware of our surroundings we shall feel more at ease.

In case guilt or remorse are your arch-enemy this post will help you find peace.

Release the pressure

Anxiety overwhelms the mind and it is imperative to silence all that noise.Talk about your problems to someone who cares for you or a professional.Merely talking about it will confer enormous relief.

Life is never a bed of roses for anyone.The bad times too,have a utility.They make you stronger and enable you to learn new coping skills.

Secondly,even during the most traumatic times you will still be left with many things to be grateful for:people who care for you,the resources available to you and your own qualities which have always helped you to overcome your difficulties.

Thirdly,life is a dappled path,if you keep looking at the dark spots you shall miss the brighter hues of life.Don't allow one dark spot to darken your sky.

Rationality,positivity,hope and gratitude-these four are infallible companions on this dappled path.Keep a tight hold on them.

Finally,something for you to think about and remember :-
“Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.”
– Robert Eliot 

Quotes from:https://www.everydayhealth.com/anxiety/guide/
and google search

So,Are You Rational Or Emotional?

Medium Is Best

One confession: I am a diehard rationalist. I do have emotions but when in a quandary I listen to my brain and not my heart-because the heart has no brains!Jokes apart,this has proven to be the most beneficial and error-free method of navigating through life situations for me.Let me recount the advantages of employing rationality as a polestar:--

PROBLEM SOLVING

The best function of the brain is in problem solving.I think no one would confute this.
Emotions cloud thinking.They divert you from searching for a solution to your problem.The problem drags on and the stress increases.

RESILIENCE

A severe loss,a calamity,abuse or a breakup:such events will make anyone miserable-even a strict rationalist like me,because some events do need a grieving period.It is even cathartic to shed tears.But ultimately life has to go on,and for this, conscious efforts have to be made to accept what happened and switch from the trauma to the daily demands.

Unpleasant experiences like deception,manipulation,exploitation and grievous harm can be very painful.But if you analyse why it happened,whether you had unknowingly made it easy for the perpetrator to target you,and focus on the precautionary measures to be taken for future safety;then your focus will shift from the pain to protecting yourself from further transgressions.You shall no longer be bogged down by what happened.Peace will return.Life will resume as usual.
Those who are highly emotional,experience every emotion very strongly.Tragedies,trauma and abuse hit them hard. They suffer prolonged periods of suffering, thinking only about the tragic event and lamenting their lot.They may refuse to accept reality and chase shadows,disconnecting themselves from everything else.If they do not shake up their perspective soon,this can even devolve into a mental disorder like Generalized Anxiety Disorder or depression.

Even lesser disappointments seem unbearable to emotional people because they they forge strong relationships and expect a lot from them.Their involvement in everything-whether love or work-is total.That is why they find it difficult to get over broken ties or major failures.Emotional fragility prolongs their suffering and delays the healing process.

EQUANIMITY

Problems will come,failures will distress and people will annoy,oppose or deceive.It pinches.But then,you cannot expect to succeed every time;or command people to like you and be on their best behavior when they accost you.But you can take heart from a thought that along with adversaries and failures there are friends,supporters,and achievements too in your life.This acknowledgement nullifies the stress.

On the other hand if you allow the hydra-headed monster of distressing emotions like sadness,anger,hatred and  despair to overpower you,then you offer a BIG space to anxiety;because firstly,emotions can project a spark as a flare,and secondly, such events,being beyond your control,cannot be stopped,and you shall continue to remain disturbed. The only thing you can do is,adopt a level headed approach to life and stay balanced.

                                      MENTAL HEALTH

Those who abide by rational thinking are rewarded by sound mental health.Whenever a catastrophe threatens,a host of doubts,fears,worries and conflicting emotions besiege us,pulling us this way or that.Rational thinking alone can show us the best possible way of getting out of that conundrum. It protects us from emotional problems like anxiety and depression. 

Emotional people are fine human beings:sensitive,sincere,caring and empathetic.But they are more vulnerable to the ups and downs of life.Emotions present a subjective view of a circumstance or imbroglio. They can mislead.They magnify a problem;even scaring you with a worst-case-scenario which may not be likely at all,thus giving a free field to anxiety.You can overcome this tendency by focusing more on your thinking and less on feelings.If only you could build a shield of rationality around your heart you would be so much calmer.

It would be unfair to wind up this post after going on and on about the benefits of logic without sounding an alarm.Too much of reason and minimal emotions will make a person cold,insensitive,selfish and callous.A moderate balance is what one should aspire for.Early exposures have a big role in making us who we are,but if there is a marked tilt towards one side then any time is a good time to correct it.

Sometimes it is difficult to decide where we stand in a wide spectrum.Given below is a quiz to help you along:--

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/dec/10/acquiescence-if-you-choose-emotions-over-logic-personality-quiz

The image and quiz courtesy google search.

Perennial Workers-No Time To #Relax

Just like air,water,food and sleep,relaxation too is an important necessity.But today's fast paced life forces many of us to neglect it.Doling out sufficient time for rest is often at the fag end of our priorities.We fail to realize that working round the clock like a zombie inflicts incalculable harm on our physical and mental health.Diseases like Hypertension,Diabetes,Heart trouble,aches and pains,insomnia,anxiety,Nervous breakdown and Burnout are often the result of a stressful life.Stress mounts when we do not chalk out enough time to replenish our energies by relaxing.

The amount of activity we indulge plays a large role in whether we are happy or sad, frustrated or satisfied,bored or  enthused.No doubt,activity enhances our self worth and also rewards us in many ways-but only till we are comfortable with the amount of work which we have to tumble through.When this point is crossed,the gains of work could be outweighed by the damaging effects.Since these are not obvious in the beginning we go on jeopardizing our health until a major problem erupts.

*To know more about the ill-effects of over-work read this post.

The relentless sloggers
Some people have little choice in this matter.Their circumstances compel them to toil hard because they have many responsibilities and no one to assist them.

But some others have a basic need to prove themselves by achieving lofty targets.To them taking a break means wasting time and stalling on the uphill journey. Overambition definitely has some drawbacks:it denies rest,leisure and peace of mind.

The perfectionists too seldom take sufficient rest.They have to do everything themselves because no one else can do it the way they can.They will check and polish their work till they are exhausted. Relaxing is a waste of time for them:there are so many things they want to set right and control.

Then there are those who just cannot say 'No'.People take advantage of their docility by fobbing off their own chores on them.Naturally this keeps them over-busy.

Some others fatigue themselves because they dislike asking for help.They will even attend to the nitty gritties which could easily have been handled by someone else.

And lots of people today have a hunger for possessing more of everything.They are never satisfied with who they are and what they have.Naturally,this always keeps them on the go.

In the end we have people who are always bowed down with work because they did not plan their schedule properly.A haphazard way of working leaves them vainly scrambling for time.

Easing the burden
If you find yourself fitting in any of the above categories-relax!Find a way out.Be cognizant of the need and importance of relaxation.Learn to take things easy.The fun is not always in doing but also in being:just being there,connecting with people,enjoying the surroundings,communing with nature,observing what happens around you and pursuing activities which may not be financially rewarding but are satisfying in many other ways.

*Allot enough time for leisure.

*Prune your to-do list.Chop off the non-essential items.

*Take the help of technology to lessen your load.

*Outsource what you can.

*Say 'No' to what is not in your scheme of things.

*Do one thing at a time.

*Shelve the less important chores to a later date,but mark them in your diary.

*Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Finally,Relaxing
Now that you have more time on your hands,what is that which you always wanted to do but did not have time for?Take the first step towards doing it.Do you enjoy social gettogethers or solitude? Which is your favorite pasttime-an energetic game,an online game,a brain game,reading,writing,singing,listening to music,doing art or craft work,a leisurely walk,a bit of shopping,cooking,enjoying a hearty meal,connecting with friends,watching a movie,tidying your space or just napping?Lots of choices,select what relaxes you most.Unlike the school or job work,no competition is on your back here.No dreaded judgments or rankings to kill the joy.

What bliss,to relax

Since we live in stressful times,relaxation deserves a regular space in our lives. It can nullify the effects of stress and anxiety.It calms the mind and recharges the body.It allows us time to look at things from a different perspective,and this itself is often therapeutic.It dulls the pain,fills us with hope and energizes us to make a fresh start after a setback or a trauma.Indeed,the gains accruing from relaxation or taking a break,can never be over emphasized.

By the way,which is your favorite relaxation technique? 

William Henry Davies presaged the lifestyle of many of us in this poem:--

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

www.davidpbrown.co.uk