Normally when we filter something we keep the useful portions and throw off the chaff.But in the thinking process known as filtration we do just the opposite.Or we may may concentrate so much upon one aspect of a situation or task that we forget about the rest.
Suppose you go to a party and have a good time with your friends but one acquaintance-B- snubs you.If this spoils your mood so much that you cannot sleep the night,then you are guilty of filtration.You ignore the overall experience and cling to a tiny bad part of it.
We receive adulation from some and rejection from some others.We may succeed in one enterprise but fail in another.Amongst many warm relationships,there might be a failed one too.Those who can put the disconcerting elements behind them,or at least not concentrate solely upon them;are the ones who will be hopeful,sanguine,enthusiastic and happy.
But agonizing over annoying bits and ignoring the positive aspects could depress anybody.Filtration saps self esteem and makes one pessimistic.This is self-goal or self inflicted misery.Those who feel depressed and dissatisfied with life should scrutinize their thoughts to find out if the cause lies in filtration or any other cognitive distortion.
It is easy to get rid of this habit,only you should first recognize that your thinking is erroneous and it is harming your interests.One way of doing this is,to add 'but' after every troublesome thought and continue from there.Going back to the earlier example,when you say to yourself " B does not like me," add "but I have many friends who do."See the difference?Doing this every time will diminish your anxiety.You will be more satisfied with the tenor of your life.
Try to be more rational and balanced about the things which normally pique you.Whenever a troublesome feeling raises its head,recall the agreeable elements associated with it,which you had overlooked.Soon you will realize that along with the annoying bits there are also many pleasing features in your life.
These seemingly minor changes can cut out the negativity in your life and make you happier.
Next:--
Magnification and Minimization.
But agonizing over annoying bits and ignoring the positive aspects could depress anybody.Filtration saps self esteem and makes one pessimistic.This is self-goal or self inflicted misery.Those who feel depressed and dissatisfied with life should scrutinize their thoughts to find out if the cause lies in filtration or any other cognitive distortion.
It is easy to get rid of this habit,only you should first recognize that your thinking is erroneous and it is harming your interests.One way of doing this is,to add 'but' after every troublesome thought and continue from there.Going back to the earlier example,when you say to yourself " B does not like me," add "but I have many friends who do."See the difference?Doing this every time will diminish your anxiety.You will be more satisfied with the tenor of your life.
Try to be more rational and balanced about the things which normally pique you.Whenever a troublesome feeling raises its head,recall the agreeable elements associated with it,which you had overlooked.Soon you will realize that along with the annoying bits there are also many pleasing features in your life.
These seemingly minor changes can cut out the negativity in your life and make you happier.
Next:--
Magnification and Minimization.
Very useful post indeed. Hearty thanks Indu Ji. Let me embrace this invaluable message and assimilate it in my personality.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jitendra,you have made my day.
DeleteYou too,have a nice day.
This is so important, so useful and so beautifully explained! Sharing on G+
ReplyDeletePlease consider adding the post sharing buttons on your page.
ReplyDeleteThanks Amit.I shall try..technically challenged i am
DeleteNever mind. I have shared it. All done!
DeleteThank you Amit.
DeleteGood point. We should filter out the nuisance and contain in the positives of any situation. But it takes a lot to master this art!
ReplyDeleteYou make me think-we do not have to make any efforts to get into cognitive distortions,but weaving our way back demands a lot of skill.
DeleteThank you Alok.
True Indu. Thats why so many advise and practice about maintaining a journal where everyday u account only those things that made u feel good and those for which u are grateful
ReplyDeleteSure this is a good way staying positive
Deletevery true Induji, as they say that we always forget the hundred good things done by someone,but always remember one bad thing
ReplyDeleteRenu thanks for coming over and giving your views
DeleteAgonizing over annoying bits and ignoring the positive aspects - That's me!
ReplyDeleteBut I do try to rationalize and am constantly chiding myself.
We all slip now n then the thing is to b aware of it.Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteThat's actually me...what you have written in the post. I shamelessly admit it...(sheepish grin). I will trying adding the 'but' and see the difference from now on. Like always, thank you writing this. Also, if possible please add a FB share button at the bottom. It will be easy to share your posts :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteGo ahead and moderate your thoughts,knowing is the first step.
DeleteI tried but could not add this button,meanwhile there is G+.
Thanks a lot for your suggestion :)
such a nice and meaningful post..for these days. specially.
ReplyDeletethnks for posting this
Thanks a lot,and welcome aboard.
DeleteThe key lies in being rational:)
ReplyDeleteThank you Rahul.
Delete