Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Ten Ways of Terminating #Negative Selftalk

Self-talk is that inner dialogue which constantly passes judgments about situations, events, people and the person himself.While positive self-talk will goad him to forge ahead, do more and be more, negative self-talk will condemn and discourage him. This has many adverse consequences.

Thoughts being the  precursors of action, if your thoughts proclaim that you are no good,you cannot achieve a given target,or you are going to fail a coming test, then you start the battle on the wrong foot.The enthusiasm needed to energize you is missing.Your efforts will be feeble and you are likely to make your premonitions come true. 

This kind of thinking has the power to neutralize your potential.You might miss a golden opportunity if your mind tells you that it is way above your level;thereby losing a chance to notch up your confidence and climb up the ladder.Negative self-talk usurps confidence and kills enthusiasm.It also generates stress and anxiety. 

If you feel that your self-talk is thwarting your progress and leaving  you disconsolate,it is time to take action.

1-Be mindful of your mind's chatter.
Heed any derogatory remarks coming from inside you.Observe how they upset you.

2-Notice the triggers.
Try to decipher the factors which trigger those remarks so that you can obviate them.

3-Accept yourself in totality.
Every person is unique.Even if you are an introvert looking admiringly at gregarious souls, not as good an orator as your best friend, not thundering along in your career as you had aspired to,fighting fits of blues now and then;all this is not entirely your doing.Circumstances and past experiences have made you who you are.Deriding yourself even as you attempt to reach your coveted goals will only derail your efforts. 

4-Unfavorable comparisons.
Unfavorable comparisons with others are often responsible for self condemnation.The social media adds fuel to the fire.Avoid them and see if you feel better.

5-Check the rationality of your self-talk.
Test it against the following parameters :
  • Are you making a mountain out of a molehill?Is your shortcoming really as momentous as you think it is?
  • Are you filtering out the positives and focusing on one negative aspect of yourself.Looking at the positive aspects of your own persona or the situation at hand will lift your despondence.
  • Are you minimizing your skills and maximizing your defects or the gravity of a situation?Take care,because this can give rise to fears and apprehensions.  
6-Don't curse yourself for minor infringements.
Relax!It is only human to falter now and then.This does not obliterate your good qualities.

7-Overcome the compulsion to be perfect.
Perfection is a mirage.A desire to be perfect in everything prompts many to lambaste themselves for every little lapse in work,or every hair out of place.Looks and body- structure are today a major cause of negative thoughts,but the photo-shopped images we see in the media are not always genuine.You don't have to be a sizzling diva in order to be liked.

8-Be very specific about what troubles you.
Saying "I am an absolute idiot,anybody can fool me," is too broad a statement.It courts depression.Say instead,"The vendor gave me rotten apples,next time I will be more careful." This is a more constructive way of looking at what happened.

9-Do not say to yourself what you would not say to a dear friend.
We often label ourselves as ugly,good for nothing,a fat slob,or a dumb duffer.But we are never as harsh with a friend or a sibling.Why not be as courteous to our own selves?

10-Basically,it is poor self esteem which is at the base of negative self-talk.
Remember the positive aspects of your personality.For more tips on improving your self worth read this post.  

Confidence deficit,a distressing episode,a recent or not so recent failure,a chance remark by someone--so many other things too can spur negative self-talk.It is true that negative self-talk can guide us to iron out the quirks in our personalities but more often than not it is an insidious enemy which not only lies but also generates stress and anxiety.When we shift to more positive thinking we can be our own motivator,realize our true potential,and find peace and fulfillment.


Image courtesy google search.


  1. Very useful! Even I do negative selftalk. I immediately replace it positive thought. :)


  2. Every time I leave this place learning something..Thanks for the motivation Indu..

  3. Very interesting advice. I like this. Looking forward to reading a blog post about someone who has too much self confidence.

    1. Thank you SG,you made my day!
      Ah yes,too much self confidence,it needs consideration.I shall think about this.

  4. I can totally relate to this. This 'self-talk' thing plays quite often in my mind and fortunately, more in a positive way. I think it's more frequent with introverts as I am. Is it, really?

    1. Hi Maniparna. So nice that you always encourage yourself in this way.Yes you are right about it being a common habit of introverts.
      Thanks for coming over.


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