Memories

A nebulous entity inside our mind-or maybe our brain-is mighty powerful.It controls so many fascets of our life which we think are happening due to our own volition,but at the stem is that same entity.All this-without even our knowing it.To cut a long story short-it is nothing but our own memory.As we all know,memory is the ability to retain and recall information.It plays a major role in our lives.It comes unannounced,uninvited,and then spreads it's net over us.

We may not realize,but it does decide whom we like and whom we keep at a distance.In this way it circuscribes our friendships and communities.It also circumscribes our comfort-zones as a result of our past activities,their outcomes and related experiences.Our memory of those experiences decides what to attempt and what to shun.

Another major function of memory is to help us pass time when we are lonely and have nothing to do.At such moments long forgotten/suppressed events or individuals come to the fore.If we recall happy incidents we shall be cheerful,rearing to go,repeat a simiar incident or connect with someone who was a part of that experience.On the other hand if we think about our failures,shocks,traumas or tragedies we shal be morose and woebegone.We must try to conjure those happenings which make us upbeat and positive.I wrote about a similar incident in "Association of Ideas" which signifies the actions of memories.In this way our memory constructs our moods and mind-set.Naturally this also shapes our personality.

Another way in which our memory functions is to help us plan our  future actions-naturally,since we would not like to repeat an error or a failure.That is not all-it also protects us from prospective dangers or mishaps.

Any talk of memory cannot but touch the factor of forgetfulness.Does our brain age as we grow old?Is Dementia inevitable?From a layman's point of view it is not so.The more we use our memory the sharper will it become.Use it as in--learning new skills,connecting with others,talking to them,solving puzzles,reading new articles etc etc.Try what appeals to you and improve your memory.

Here's wishing you good luck!

Coaching Institutes of Kota

I have been a resident of Kota since decades.It used to be a quiet city till 1990 but the advent of coaching institutes after that brought in many changes.It now bustles with the activities of tutors,students and their guardians.I see many students and their guardians walking on the road in front of my home.It is easy to make out from their looks and conversations that they have come here from many other states

Some exude vigour and vitality while some others appear rather serious and worried.Naturally,because the regime is very,very taxing-not everybody can bear it smilingly.There is also a lot of competitiveness which keeps students on edge.

But the saddest part of this whole system is that some of those who find it unbearable,do not return home,but commit suicide.

Another NEET student dies by suicide in Kota, 6th in 2024.According to Hindustan Times Aug 3 

A vital question raises it's head-why do children choose death or self-inflicted torture,instead of returning home?Different answers come to mind-

1-Some join these institutes because their parents were very keen on them doing this course but they have no interest in the subjects being taught.

2-Some others know that their parents have managed with great difficulty ao get hold of the large amount of money needed for their stay in Kota.They cannot face them after their failure to qualify.

3-Their peers and relatives back home will look down upon them if they return without achieving anything.

4-A budding relationship breaks-leaviing them depressed.

The causes might be many more but no matter what the cause-the fact remains that a child's home,however big or small it may be-is like a nest for him.He feels secure and happy there.In Kota he might be confined to a limited space and a different ambiance.The people around him may be friendly,indifferent or even hostile.What sort of a memory-bank will he accumulate during his stay here?Will these years become a benign part of his memories or will it be too torturous to live with?

I think the aspiring doctors and engineers as well as their parents ought to give a second thought to  their plans if they find anythig amiss.There are numerous trades to choose from,if one option fails then another should be tried.Sui cide is no answer!

My readers are welcome to state their views on this subject,it will bebeneficial.

Self-help For Anxiety And Depression

 Experts tell us that Mental Disorders are on the rise.Everyone experiences anxiety at some time or the other but sometimes it deepens into depression or a host of other Mental Disorders.The stigma attached to such maladies prevents people from consulting a professional or even admitting that they too are victims.

Hence they try to tackle it according to their own acumen and will-power.Most people know about aids like exercise,meditation,pranayam and positive thinking which can and do mitigate anxiety.A lesser known asset which can also pitch them on the path to recovery is writing a daily journal-that is recording their thoughts,emotions and activities every day.

Anxietry or depression spin from negative thoughts which lead us to conclude that our life,personality,future prospects and relationships are dismal and nothing can improve them.But writing a diary gives us the space to evaluate our behaviour and thought processes once again,so that we can rectify them if  necessary.

When you write your diary pay special attention to your moods.Also what you did to improve your mood if it was woebegone to begin with.At the end of the day or on the next day,recapitulate whether whatever you did after getting up,dissipated your worries or aggravated them.Mark that which helped you to overcome negative thoughts and vow to do it daily.

Overcoming anxiety is an important part of one's health and wellness but there are so many other responsibilities-which,if attended-will give you a happy,healthy and full life.For example you may be hiding in your room,unnecessarily snubbing your acqaintances or shirking your duties.There are many fronts on which a tense person can go wrong.Naturally this can create negativity or lead to nsavory consequences.Evaluate your performance on such fronts when you write your diary.If you are failing in an important facet  then try to do better the next day.Set your targets and and attempt to remove the hurdles which bar you from doing this.

Despite best efforts crises and calamities do occur.The journal is always there to write about such events and avail catharsis.This will lessen your agony.You can then analyse what went wrong and how to rectify it.Your journal is also a good place to ponder about oncoming challenges and how you should tackle them.

Thus we see that keeping a diary enables clear thinking,reduces anxiety or depression,helps you to overcome your faults,endows  resilience and boosts stamina,resulting in a new ,better you.What a wonderfull gadget to stay well and move forward.

You may also like my blog posts - 

Personality Traits which are Risk

Your self help guide for Eliminating

Cognitive Distortions,Magnification and Maximisation

The Clutch Of A Bad Habit

We are creatures of habit.Our habits govern many of our actions and reactions.A newborn baby has no habits-only a couple of instincts-the fear of falling and the need of sustenance.Habits form as days pass,and then these habits shape our personalities.They become so entrenched that even if we realize that a certain habit is going counter productive we very often fail to change it.

Samuel Johnson has aptly stated “The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” 

If like me,you too are budened with some bad habits,then decide first of all which one is the most detrimental.Like I have this habit of drinking many cups of tea in a day,even though it causes acidity.Therefore I have decided to get rid of it.Or take the case of Rupa-she has this habit of studying at night till near dawn ,and getting up at noon the next day.One day she came to know about the Circadian Rhythm at https://www.sleepfoundation.org/circadian-rhythm, which states that a disrupted Cercadian Rhythm can affect the body's alertness,sleepiness,body temperature physical/mental health and appetite.She also realized that the assimilation of subject matter studied at night was not worth spoiling her sleep for and decided to give up this habit.

Once you have decided to expunge a habit the next step is to Pinpoint the trigger which impels you to follow that habit.I pondered why I drink so many cups and realized that it is because tea gives me the space to relax,or because I am hungry and decide to have a cup of tea rather than eating anything.So fatigue and hunger were my triggers.For Rupa sleepiness and fatigue were the cues.She had to force herself to sit down and study every night even though her body protested against this.

Once the cues have been discerned be alert the next time a cue raises it's head and choose a better response to it rather than giving in to your old habit.For example I relax with a good book or munch a biscuit whenever the yearning for a cup of tea surfaces.You too can choose a better option to replace your bad habit-one which takes you forward and is free of  any ill-effects.

Do this unfailingly for a week and then consider it's effects.Do you feel better and more efficient now than you did before?If the answer is yes then continue to ignore those triggers.

When one habit has been consigned to history decide which one comes next and follow the same procedure.Evaluate how good this decision has proven to be and relax with an easy mind.You will definitely feel better and do better.

As John Dryden said"We first make our habits,and then our habits make us".

A Fixed Routine-Is It A Blessing Or a Blight?

  Let me confess at the very beginning,I don't know the answer to this query.I hope to carry you along as I thrash out it's various facets and reach some kind of a conclusion.

Basically,I love change.Monotony kills me.I try to introduce itsy-bitsy changes in my daily routines.This keeps me active,happy and alive.Anything new in the day makes life interesting.It refreshes the mind.I am forced to ponder which new element I should introduce in my daily routine the next time-an element which will not disrupt my routine yet make it slightly different from other days.

Talking of routines-these too hold a very important place in my life.Everything should be done at the right time.This establishes much needed discipline in my schedules.Oh yes'discipline keeps me straight on the line and prevents me from frittering away the hours reading,eating goodies and drinking tea.

Yes,fixed routines make life systematic.You are forced to tend to chores which you do not relish but which are important nevertheless.A fixed routine kind of anchors you,you know which activity should best be pegged at which time-considering the availability of time,space and stamina. 

A very significant advantage of following a regular routine is that it is therapeutic for those who suffer from anxiety or depression.It nudges them into action when they feel lazy or incompetent.Tending to daily routines decreases anxiety because it forces us to think of other things besides our problems. And then we can say that things are in control,life is running at an even keel,and there are no disruptions to spoil the day. 

Some might argue that fixed routines make life rigid and dull but this can be obviated by introducing pleasurable interludes in between stressful tasks. After all planning the routine is in your hands isn't it?

What is your opinion?Do you think we should follow regular routines or not?Do tell us all what you think.