#Social Anxiety Disorder

 Megha is a young housewife of about forty years old.She has two children and lives in a well-furnished house having all the amenities one could ask for.Her husband is a genial family man and earns well.With all these advantages going for her,one would expect her to be a chirpy,friendly positive girl.But she is just the opposite.You will never catch her smiling or accosting anyone.She takes good care of her health,goes for a morning walk and does yoga and meditation too.Physically,she has a good personality but emotionally-who can say! She never gives anyone the chance to know or befriend her.What could  be the possible cause of this stark contrast between her lifestyle and her demeanor?

It is quite obvious that she is suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder.According to NIMH "Social Anxiety Disorder is a persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.This fear can affect work,school and other daily activities.It can even make it hard to make and keep friends."

But why does this syndrome affect some people so badly that they segregate themselves from those around them and choose to live a lonely friendless life?Where does it stem from?The answers to these queries lie hidden in their minds.

However psychologists do have some pointers.If a child went through adverse experiences,was bullied or targeted repeatedly it could instill in her mind an aversion for meeting others,looking face to face or trusting them.It becomes a permanent feature of her personality.Despite the various ill-effects of this disorder on her life she is unable to shake it off.If only she was to consult a Mental Health professional this fear could be toned down if not eradicated but this same fear prevents her from doing this.

If she does nor want to do this then the next alternative is to take the matter in her own hands.

1. She should introspect calmly and gauge whence this fear erupted.Was it a single incident or a number of them?
2. Is the perpetrator still in her ambit or have the circumstances changed?
3. Is she today as vulnerable as she was then?
4. This code of conduct which she has charted for herself,is it protecting her from anxiety or  aggravating it.
5. Is it not barring her from living a full life,making good use of her potential and going forward.
6. She can take small steps,connect with those she thinks harbor no ill-will toward her,take up tiny excursions in social activities and then evaluate the results.
7. Just as she decided to isolate herself from society,she should now determine who all she can safely interact with and lay down the boundaries too so that she can safely move forward.
8. She should talk about her fears and feelings on the subject to those whom she loves and can trust.

These simple steps will assist her to overcome her inhibitions and become a proactive part of society which is essential for leading a healthy and happy life.  

Pampering

 Pampering as we all know,implies taking excellent care of someone and providing all that he or she needs.No doubt it is a very kindly service.But take it a bit far and it could turn into cosseting or mollycoddling,which is inimical for the rcipient as well as the doer.But how and where to draw the line?

Newborn babies or infants do need to be pampered but as and when they can accomplish small tasks,the caretakers should recede accordingly.Rather they should encourage initiative and selfreliance in them.Undue pampering can make them lazy,arrogant and demanding.Cosseted children are unable to shoulder their responsibilities,make way for themselves or face failure when they grow up.

Like infants,the ill,old,feeble,or those traumatised also deserve to be pampered.But even they should be motivated to pick up the reins if and when possible.Unnecessarily waiting bound hand-and-foot on them will in fact make them more feeble and despondent.If they give up all efforts to look to their daily necessities they will also age more rapidly.

Excessive pampering is not only bad for the receiver but also for the doer.It makes them gullible and exposes them to exploitation too.Predators will soon spot them and dupe them to achieve their ends.

Being kind and compassionate is fine,but overdoing it is harmful for both parties.