Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Defeating Difficult Times

Nobody can expect to go through life without facing any troubles or traumas.Beginning from disappointments,upsets,failures and going on to rejections,separations,loss,accidents,disability,disease and death;the dark shadow of sorrow spares no one;though it is true that some get more than their fair share of it.We try our best to avoid these vicissitudes but it is not possible to prevent all of them.The only option open to us is to learn healthy ways of coping with them and coming out unscathed.

When the situation is not too grim or life threatening, POSITIVE THINKING can work wonders.It enables us to find a ray of hope even when the clouds are dark and dreary.We set aside our doubts and find the courage to move on.Perhaps you broke off with your girl friend or failed to get a promotion,but if you think a better girl or job might come your way then your regret will subside considerably.An innate belief or hope that tomorrow will be better,you will make it better,or you can make it better makes it easy to live through challenging times.

But positive thinking does not help when a solid problem stares us in the face and demands a solution.At such moments only logic can help us out.A preponderance of emotions is likely to muddle our thinking  and obfuscate reality.Rational thinking saves the day,it points to the way out from a tricky imbroglio.

Some problems are heaven-sent,some created by others and some are self-inflicted.If only we pondered over our own role in a fiasco instead of lamenting about destiny or someone else's behavior we would be able to mend the damage sooner.When we blame someone else for our own blunders we lose the opportunity to correct our course and the problem stays put where it was.We compound our mistake by reading too much into a gesture,remark,or a development and mentally label a friend or an acquaintance as an enemy.This is not the way to emerge from tumultuous situations.

Personal problems generate a lot of heart-ache.So much so that they can blot out all sources of joy and satisfaction.Emotional matters involving close relationships evoke sad memories,disillusionment and sinking feelings about future.We are so overtaken by conflicting signals that it becomes difficult to choose the correct course of action.At such moments it helps to discuss the problem with a close friend or a relative  who is not involved because that person will have a clearer perception of reality.

But if we do not want to disclose our problems to any known person then professional help is the best choice because it is of paramount importance to vent our emotions and find a solution to our problems.When we express our innermost thoughts,worries, suspicions or guilt in front of someone who is not  judgemental we immediately feel lighter by virtue of  catharsis.A professional views the state of affairs from an unbiased stand and suggests a way out which is likely to satisfy all concerned;or which is the best possible solution at the given moment.

Positive thinking,logic and  even professional help are of little use when we find ourselves in the center of a  terrible tragedy like the loss of job,home,limb,or a loved one to death.Such shocks are the hardest to bear.It helps to take a break from the hurly burly of life,to cry,express our sorrow and grieve for our loss.Problems which require immediate attention can be entrusted to those who care for us.These are small measures but they give considerable relief.

However the grieving period must not extend beyond a reasonable limit or devolve into self pity.A lot remains even in the aftermath of a tragedy because only death annihilates fully.Therefore if we take stock of what all has not changed,count our blessings (yes some always remain),then we can pick up the threads of life and build a new life scape.In the ever changing kaleidoscope of life we are often required to reinvent ourselves and the outcome should not be viewed with skepticism because the future will pan out in sync with our own expectations and efforts.

Sometimes we are tempted to look up at the sky and ask 'why me?'.But why not?We did not ask this question when life was rosy.Maybe the sorrow has come to teach us a lesson,to help us evolve.Religion and spirituality can offer strong support in stressful times.They endow a broader vision so that we can look beyond our hassles.

It is very comforting to believe that there is a supreme power which will look after our welfare and ensure that justice is done to us.Above all,it is very soothing to think that if the cheerful times have receded,these irksome days too,will pass on and we shall find our happiness once again.This takes a heavy load off our shoulders so that we can take charge of our  lives once again.

Image courtesy google.



35 comments :

  1. Very nice post. :) to defeat difficult time one must have Positive approach, Self belief amd Patience.

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    1. Thank you Deepa,yes all three are very important.

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  2. Very inspiring post!
    Very mood uplifting.

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  3. Very true. It's about picking up the pieces and moving on...

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  4. Only way out to a successful life is positive thinking,positive approach.
    Try this sometime,while driving,if you think you will make through to the Red signal,in all,probabilities,you will.

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    1. i agree with the first part but the second?it could be dangerous!!!!

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  5. Inspiring post. I guess it depends on individual how well s/he moves on. Not an easy task! :)

    Nisha - Le Monde-A Poetic Travail

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  6. Sure,it is not easy but possible if we decide to come out of the trough.
    Thanks for visiting.

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  7. I think we just need to take the newspaper and see whats happening within the city or around the world to really appreciate what we have. Problems that seem too huge for us like stress at work or a temporary job loss would seem trivial compared to being in a war stuck zone or struggling for a single morsel of food. There is one statement I really like 'This too shall pass'. One should keep telling this to ourselves in difficult times. Remember that twenty years down this would be another event or circumstance in the long cycle of life.

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  8. Heal when you are low and down....and it is so important to look for the good days ahead! 'When God closes a door, He opens another.” It refers to the natural ebb and flow of life where... when one thing ends, another begins.
    What an inspiring post, Indu.

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    1. Yes-the natural ebb and flow of life-very well said Panchali.

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  9. You have covered so many aspects here right from positive thinking to logic, grief period to self pity. A great post that can guide you through tough times surely. Of course, reaching out to a professional can help immensely as you have mentioned.

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    1. Hi Rachna,your endorsement means a lot to me-thanks.This convinces me that i could put forth worthwhile suggestions.
      Lots of love.

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  10. This post is proof of your professional credibility, Indu. You have offered suggestions without sounding preachy, letting the readers infer their own solutions from them. It always is important to look for chinks and cracks, if not another open door, when one door closes. Great post.

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  11. This post is proof of your professional credibility, Indu. Through the suggestions offered, you have coaxed the readers to find their own solutions without sounding preachy and didactic. It is important to look for cracks and chinks, even if not for an open door, when one door closes. That way, we can find a way out. Great post.

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    1. Thank you Zephyr for this heartening comment.You make me feel good.I hope i can make a difference.
      Love n hugs.

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  12. Indu, I totally agree with all your points! Even i believe in them :)
    Tough times don't last, tought people do :)

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    1. I am happy to have found a like-thinking blogger,thank you Anita.

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    2. Pleasure is mine! Thank you!
      My proud privilege :)

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  13. Inspiring post Induji
    every word you have said holds a lot of meaning and this is coming to you from someone who has faced a lot of problems within a period of 10 years --if one issue was solved another cropped up things like accidents , financial problems one after the other ----BUT the only thing which helped us tide through was the four of us (my husband my two daughters and I ) being together we never let others interfere.And no one could even guess the turmoils we were undergoing .
    life is like that and it needs to be tackled POSITIVELY
    thanks for this post
    love
    rajni

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    1. I am sorry to learn this-i hope you are well out of the woods now.
      Hats off to your control-you have always come out as a very positive and cheerful person through your posts...may you always remain thus.
      Lots of love.

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    2. thanks Indu ji
      for your good wishes ---you know how much I value them
      warm regards

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  14. Very inspiring post Indu! Much needed post for me! Thanks for the motivation :)

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    1. i am glad to be of help Sri Valli.
      Stay well and be blessed.

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  15. Always love your nice thoughtful and sensible posts.

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    1. And what a lovely response this one is-thanks a million!

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  16. beautiful written post. love the positive approach of life :)

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  17. Completely agree with you. Positive thinking does wonders. The sheer trick of shedding the negativity. Coming to a neutral zone and taking in the positive energy from around us will definitely help one try and come up with a proper solution from the problem at hand. I think I should consider myself lucky that, with practice I've been able to dissociate myself from any sad and problematic situation, take a step out, relax and then deal with the problem with a fresh mind.

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    1. Hi Ashwini,it is a great achievement to be able to disassociate yourself from the problem at hand and work for a solution...very positive approach i must say!

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