#S UICIDES

I have written a lot about suicides but it never seems enough because suicide is sheer waste of a precious life which not only kills one person but also leaves many others devastated.Every human has some value,some contribution to give to mankind--however insignificant one's own role may seem to that person.And even those who feel lonesome or neglected--even those--do have folks who care for them,need them,or at least who would be sorry to know that they took a leap into the unknown.

Most important--nothing lasts for ever.We often come to a difficult patch which leaves us mentally,emotionally and physically exhausted.Life seems hopeless and we conclude that we do not have the ability to solve our problems.Not only this,we also come to believe that fading into oblivion is the best course and nobody cares whether we live or die.Hence,the suicide.
It is only a combination of circumstances which sows these thoughts in our mind.If we relegate our emotions to the background and try to think rationally we will certainly be able to find ways to ease our tensions .
I wrote an article on this topic for TOI's supplement 'Kota Plus' which appeared on 31st Oct 2014.I reproduce a copy of it below,please give your views.

Suicide Is NOT The Answer.

These are stressful times.We all have our own share of challenges,obstacles and frustrations.Tensions are on the rise and support systems are on the wane.Sometimes it all becomes more than one can handle by oneself.A need is felt to confide in someone or ask someone's advice.Lucky are those who have a loving family or caring friends to fall back upon.But for those who are not thus blessed,life sometimes becomes a burden too heavy to bear.Or maybe, the problem is such that we just cannot share it with friends or family.So the problem is not resolved and the tension keeps mounting till one day,the situation becomes explosive.

It is then that we come to know that so and so has committed suicide.What a sad end to a promising life!Actually no one wants to die.They only want their pain to end and their problem to be solved.When they cannot achieve this on their own,they choose to end it all.

But if they cannot share their troubles with their friends or family then there are Mental Health Professionals who can help them to solve their problems so that they can live life once again.Mental Health Professionals like Psychiatrists,Psychiatric Social Workers,Counselors and Psychologists are honor-bound to keep your confidence.They are familiar with all the aberrations of the human mind and you can divulge your innermost secrets to them without any fear of ridicule or embarrassment.Every problem has a solution,it is only because a stressed out person cannot think lucidly that s/he feels that s/he has reached a dead end and death is the only answer.

Therefore if you have been under a lot of stress for many weeks and it has disrupted your life totally--spoiling your sleep,appetite and daily routine,then it is time to take the bull by the horns and take some positive steps to overcome your problems !!!!!

You may also like:--

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/09/preventing-suicides.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/04/suicidal-thoughts.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/07/suicide-dreaded-word.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2010/10/there-is-hope-only-if-there-is-life.html

Image from google search

Tensions Which Can Easily be Avoided

Unpleasant incidents are a part of life and the tension accruing from them has to be tolerated,but some tensions emanate from subjective factors and it is best to eliminate them.We often unconsciously adopt certain thinking patterns which destroy our peace of mind.By restructuring our conceptions we can ease the burden of woe and better equip ourselves to tackle the challenges which arise from external factors.

Thinking and Behaving Patterns Which Generate Stress:--

1. Not saying what you feel,bottling up your emotions.
2. Magnifying small irritants.
3. Comparing yourself with those who are more affluent or successful.
4. Trying to please everyone.
5. Worrying about what others think of you.
6. Distrusting everyone,suspecting their motives.
7. Holding grudges,not forgiving.
8. Multitasking.
9. Taking too much on yourself.
10. Over ambition,aiming at unrealistic targets.
11. Perfectionism.
12. Not taking help from anyone.
13. Obsessing about past or worrying about future.
14. Clutter,mismanagement.
15. Expecting too much from life,everybody has ups & downs.

These are small intangibles,yet they are capable of destroying our health and happiness.Would you like to add  any of your own perceptions?Feel free.....

Child Abuse-Mental and Emotional

Child abuse can be defined as acts of commission or omission which endanger or impair a child's physical or mental health.The abuse could be physical,sexual,emotional or mental.The first two are gross violations of the child's body,mind and soul;while the last two are less  obvious, and intangible in nature.

A thin line demarcates emotional abuse (EA) from mental abuse (MA) but both disrupt the child's psycho-social and physical development and distort his assessment of his own self,his capabilities and his place in the social milieu--thus denying him a fair chance to lead a happy,fulfilling life.
EA disastrously impacts the child's emotional life,he feels unloved,insecure and is unable to relate to people or form close ties even as an adult.
MA is more subtle, it  damages the child's self esteem and self confidence.It kills whatever spark,initiative or exploratory tendencies the child had.

The perpetrator of MA could be a well-meaning parent or caregiver who is a control freak,strict disciplinarian or merely very ambitious of the child's future.
But those who lash out EA on a child are likely to be unhappy,harried, overburdened or disgruntled individuals;or unwilling parents/caregivers.It is also possible that they themselves were the targets of child abuse and know no better.

Both MA and EA cut deep,leaving life-long scars because they come from persons on whom the child relies for his very existence and sustenance.No matter how horrendous the abuse;the child cannot pull back,protect himself,or even express his fury.

Mental Abuse
MA unfolds in the form of undue pressure to perform well,excessive or harsh criticism,negative comparisons,strict discipline,derogatory punishments,total control,not paying attention to the child or cutting off communication to make him tread the stipulated path.The worst kind of MA takes place when the adult does not recognize the child's limitations and pushes him to perform beyond his capacity.

Emotional Abuse
EA is much harsher and negative in nature,as well as in terms of it's effect upon the victim.The child is persistently rejected,called derogatory names,ridiculed,belittled,bullied,threatened,given degrading punishments and never hugged or shown affection.

Physical Ill Effects of Mental or Emotional Abuse
Emotional or mental abuse can damage the child's physical growth and well-being.It can also impair the brain's development and adversely affect his milestones and intelligence.An abused child is more likely to suffer from ill health,a shortened life span and  diminished immunity.
Adult survivors of child abuse are more likely to suffer from diseases like allergies,arthritis,asthma,ulcers and high blood pressure,than others.It has been suggested that they could be more susceptible to cancer too.
Psychological Ill Effects of Mental or Emotional Abuse
It is in the realm of psychology that victims of MA or EA suffer the greatest harm.There is a lack of trust.The child feels insecure and doubts if his parents or caregivers really care for him and will come to his aid when he needs them.This shows up in poor relationships in adult life.

There is loss of self esteem and self-confidence which disrupts the child's evolution as a normal, productive human being and lands him in an unsatisfactory,suboptimal way of life.

An abused child is likely to harbor a lot of suppressed anger and hatred for authority which may instigate him to indulge in anti-social acts or risky behavior.

A victim of MA or EA is vulnerable to many psychiatric disorders.He has lots of suppressed emotions which he dare not voice.As a result he may be overcome by myriad fears and anxieties which could degenerate into mental disorders at the end of the day.The piling up of so many frustrations coupled with a lack-lustre support system  can even push a child or an adult survivor of child abuse to take his own life.

At the end a caveat :--
Parents too are humans.Sundry instances of losing their cool or punishing a child do not count as child abuse;persistent ill-treatment of a child does.If a parent realizes that s/he is too full of anger/hatred towards a child s/he should see a counselor to sort out his/her own emotions.

Resources:--
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_abuse#Effects

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/news/articles/2012/07/30/mental-abuse-of-kids-leaves-lifelong-scars