#Histrionic Personality Disorder

There are three kinds of people:those who are happy in their own selves and merge into the background even if surrounded by people,those who like company but can also do without it,and those who are happy only when they are the center of attention in any group or gathering.

The last,as you might have guessed,is the histrionic personality.Mostly it is women who fall in this category.All activities of a histrionic female are designed to attract attention and adulation.

She uses her physical appearance to achieve this end.She is always spic and span, immaculately dressed.Her speech is highly theatrical and emotionally charged.She is capable of paying false compliments and making never-to-be-kept promises in order to increase her fan-following.She professes lofty ideals to gain approval but ultimately turns out to be shallow and unreliable.

She is emotionally unstable,extremely self-centered and callous of others' emotions.She is quick to spot competition and will lose no time in undermining her rival or indulging in melodrama to grab eyeballs.In order to safeguard her reign she may even choose to hang out with those who pose no threat to her supremacy.

Her behavior is often inappropriately seductive and voluptuous.She is cheerful and charming,and it is easy to see why people are drawn to her.They are impressed by her charm and she believes she enjoys strong relationships.But when the veneer fades she loses her credibility.As people spot the real person underneath,they slowly distance themselves:making way for the next bunch of gullible souls. 

Dealing with a histrionic personality is very taxing.How long can you continue to feed someone's ego and overlook her lies and underhand ways?The best way is to recognize her tactics and save yourself from being walked over.Walk out if you can but if she is a family member,this too is not possible.All you can do is,avoid being manipulated by her and ignore the spurious stuff. 

It is not easy to be a shining star 24/7.Why does she do it?Maybe early abuse and neglect set her off on this road.Perhaps there is an inner insecurity and not enough confidence in her own worth.She finds it only through others' validation.It is quite pathetic actually.Her life is very glitzy on the outside but inside?Only she knows.

Experts tell us that this is a lifelong condition-it is not possible to cure it.But Talk Therapy can offer relief.An histrionic female may feel depressed but even then she is not likely to seek therapy unless a major life support crumbles.In extreme cases she may indulge in suicidal threats or behavior to grab attention.It is up to those who are close to her,to persuade her to seek psychotherapy.It can ease their predicament to some extent.

Do you know  any histrionic personality closely?Which other characteristics did you spot in her?And how do you deal with her?

"The exact cause of histrionic personality disorder is unknown. Scientists believe it is an outcome of both environmental and genetic factors."
https://www.healthline.com/health/histrionic-personality-disorder#causes

Image courtesy google search.

The Good Old Days

Is there any specific age at which one begins to reminisce about the good old days?I don't know.I only know that I often dive into the good old days.Not that I have any complaints about my life today.But there are certain phases of life which appear to me to have been just perfect-full of joy de vivre.

We all have good and bad stretches in life.When we are dissatisfied with a certain component of our lives we slip back into an era which we believe was idyllic in every way.But is it really possible?Can life ever be so utopian as to not have a single jarring note?If we dig deeper we will realize that those days too had their own pin-pricks and rifts but we skim over those unpleasant episodes.

Why do we do it?A very strong reason is that some of the people in those memories now exist only in our memories.They have been gone long.Like I said in Something Breaks, we just love to relive the moments we had with them.The memories of our family life,old homes or dear friends were so enriching that they have strong connections with our mind and whenever we look back;maybe due to ennui or lethargy,we just bask in the cool breeze of those memories.

Yes,there must have been squabbles and fights too,but with hindsight we realize that whatever the unpleasantness,we too were not entirely blameless and therefore we forget the ugliness and appreciate the good times.

It is easy to go into a nostalgic trance but this can also be a way of disassociating from the present and it's demands.So it is better to stir ourselves and come back to the present.If we give it all we have,some day we will recall these days also as the'Good Old Days'.

If You Have Anxiety,Don't Think About This.....

When you have anxiety it is natural to think about your self and how this scourge has changed your personality,moods,thought processes and behavior.It has curtailed many of your activities too.You are naturally aggrieved by these changes.Your self image has dipped and you shy from facing people.You have become reclusive and inactive.Since you don't feel like going out or doing anything,you merely sit and think,and these thoughts are naturally very depressive.The more you ruminate the more lethargic you become,and the more lethargic you are the sorrier you feel for yourself.Thus a vicious cycle is established.

In order to feel better once again,the first requirement is to stop thinking about yourself.But what to think? The mind cannot be stopped from thinking.What you can do is to think of those things which make you feel,if not better,then at least not worse.Open some new channels for it to roam and discover.

One way is to go out and relax in the lap of nature.The greenery all round and the chirrups of birds are incredibly calming.Have you noticed,every tree or bush has a different color,shape,texture or smell?Look at the flowers,inhale their scent,feel their softness.What a wonderful variety!

Now pay attention to the bird calls.Try to trace a call to it's owner.You will soon be able to identify a bird from it's call. Isn't all this very engaging?

And the children-are they playing and screaming near you?Watch their antics.Even a small kid clearly denotes whether it is going to be a leader or a follower;whether it is amiable or aggressive.

And what about the adults?You may see people of various ages around you.Some may have aged well and some others not so well.Some may be accompanied by friends and some others may appear lonesome.An aged person might be walking determinedly,while another may just have sunk down on a seat soon after reaching the park.What does this signify?That everybody has some problem or the other.You are not the only one.

But you can obviously not sit in a park the whole day.So how to ward off those negative thoughts when you are at home or in the office?Look around you carefully.What is it which needs organizing?How can you declutter your work place or spruce up your wardrobe?If there is anything which you have been postponing since long,take it up now.Expending energy doing random jobs subdues anxiety and makes you feel more in control.

You might be harried at present,but one reason why you are feeling so low is,because you are focusing only on the gnawing aspects of your life.Change your perspective.Think of those who have always-well almost always-stood by you.Recall happy memories,look at the bigger picture.Count your blessings.You have to accept the thorns with the roses and learn how to deal with them.Self pity is not the way to do it.Shift your gaze from the thorns to the roses.You will feel good.