The Luminaries

Some people have all the luck.They are truly blessed.Not a single incongruous note in the lyrical symphony of their lives.I have often looked wistfully at them and wished for a perfect life like theirs.But almost immediately I chastise myself.How do I know what transpired before that star touched the zenith?More importantly,who knows what the future holds for them? After all a high tide cannot stay high for ever,it has to come down.

Why this happens is food for thought.Is it destiny or mere rotation of the wheel of life?It could even be mere negligence or mishandling of lady luck's boons. Attaining an iconic status is not easy.It requires hard work and vision.But even after reaching the pinnacle one's metier has to be safeguarded wisely:from self as well as jealous rivals.

The self is the first wall of defense against a downfall.Many luminaries have come to a sorry end because of their own imperfections. They topple to the ground when their luck runs out.

  Causes of Downfall

Corruption

Corruption is rampant in our country.From politicians,bureaucrats and big business men to the humble peon,at every level you will come across people who strive to grab more than they are entitled to.The higher the strata the greater the loot.We do not know how many escape unscathed but some,like Suresh Kalmadi,A Raja and Lalu Prasad Yadav are finally caught and sent to jail.What a dire contrast to their earlier,opulent lifestyles!

The immense power which politicians wield propels them to subvert the law and milk their status to rake up as much wealth as they can.Unfortunately,with their cohorts shielding them to the best of their ability,many escape the net and must still be at large..

Exploitation

When someone is recognized as an ace in his calling,he sometimes regards his juniors as lesser beings and exploits them without any compunction. MJ Akbar,a minister in the central government,used his clout to satisfy his carnal desires.He had to resign from his post after intense public humiliation.

There are many,many more of this kind,but why go deeper in this filth?

Illegal Activities

It is not corruption or sexual exploitation alone which can turn a lucky spell into a sorry phase. Some icons break the law nonchalantly,thinking no one would dare to question them. Sanjay Dutt did just that and had to spend many years in jail for buying an illegal weapon from a known terrorist.

Arrogance

An elite family background and powerful connections embed in some people a conviction that they have special rights and privileges and this misperception one day brings them crashing down from their high horse.Remember how Manu Sharma,born in an affluent family with strong political connections,blew it all when he murdered Jessica Lal for refusing to serve him liquor? He was sentenced to life imprisonment after a huge public outcry and media pressure. 

Personal Failings

Having loads of cash in hand is temptation enough for some to splurge it on their pet fancies:profligacy,alcoholism or drug abuse have left many Bollywood actors penniless.How painful it must be,to be reduced to a near beggar like state after having been idolized by millions.

How much does one need to live a comfortable life?There can be no definite answer to this.The higher you go the more zeroes you will add to the figure.But why do those who belong to the top echelons,who are virtually rolling in wealth,deploy questionable tactics to extract more or satisfy illegitimate desires?

In doing this,they even lose the amenities they once enjoyed;well not always-the judicial system being what it is-but the risk is always there.Had they been more ethical,content,and law abiding;they could have enjoyed a longer,more satisfying innings.What's more,they would have been acclaimed for their integrity.But no,insatiable greed overcomes every other consideration.

As Benjamin Franklin said, "It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it."

Image and quote from google search.

Self-Acceptance-The Key To Happiness

"The moment you accept yourself just the way you are is surely the moment you find peace".Many of us do not accept ourselves the way we are,which means we are perennially dissatisfied.

Causes of non-acceptance

You are fine as you are

Discontent most often arises from comparisons and comparisons can never be fair since each person is born with a unique package.


Many people feel inadequate or inferior because of the community,family or social stature to which they belong. 

Then,there is Body Dysmorphic Disorder which can be very excruciating.A minor flaw or an imagined one,can adversely affect the whole range of that person's activities or behavior.Today's emphasis on the externals adds fuel to the fire.

Sometimes those who have been exposed to abuse:whether physical,sexual or emotional, also feel uncomfortable in their skin.Abuse makes them feel like the under-dog and they blame themselves for having attracted abuse.

If it was someone else whose personality we disliked we could easily have shunned that person and carried on blithely, but it is the imperfections which we see in our own selves which pain us hugely and prevent us from enjoying life to the fullest.

The image which we build up of ourselves is not merely an image for us but it is what others see us as,because it governs how we work and relate to others.It holds us from realizing our full potential and it is best to change it.

   In order to accept yourself better:

• Realize:you are a unique mixture of many qualities and skills which no one else is.
• Recount your plus points-daily if need be.
• Remember,nobody is perfect.Those who appear to be so,do a good job of projecting themselves.
• You too,put your best foot forward.Don't be your own adversary.When you disregard your plus points and focus only on your flaws, this is what you are doing. 
• Which is that quality which gives you an edge over others?Exploit it to the fullest.
• And which deviation hurts you most?If it is God-given then you cannot change it.Just accept it and be at peace.
• If that anomaly can be corrected then make it your mission to correct it.
• Just think of the people who like you-do they not like you as you are?Including the real or imagined peculiarities?
• Nobody is the living personification of all that is good or completely bereft of what makes a person worthy,except maybe,the criminal psychopaths.
• Try to fathom from where and when this tendency to think of yourself as being below par,different,not so worthy,arose.Whatever triggered it can be better used as a learning lesson,a guide for future.Forgive yourself for any gaffe or miscalculation committed by you.It is Self-compassion that you need and not self-hate.

Love yourself,accept yourself,and be proud of your good qualities.When you begin to love yourself-not to the point of narcissism mind you-more people will pay attention to you and you will no longer feel inadequate or inferior.Acceptance of self is imperative for growth and happiness.    

If you liked this post you may also like to read the following:

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.com/2013/12/raise-your-self-esteem-in-leven-easy.html

https://jeeteraho.blogspot.com/2018/01/ten-ways-of-terminating-negative.html

https://jeeteraho.blogspot.com/2015/01/do-you-love-yourself.html

Image courtesy google.

Worry-part two

Lives there a man so blessed,
Not a single worry in his head?

Not possible.We have plenty of worries circling in our heads.But do we accomplish anything by worrying the hours away?It is true that worrying about a problem does take us to the solution and also readies us to face an impending crisis;but beyond this it has little value.The tendency to worry about each and every spec on the horizon clouds the mind with fears and apprehensions-often without any positive results.The real problems are best dealt with when they knock on the door;why add fearful thoughts to the tasks which are waiting to be finished today?

Scrapping this habit  can result in a calmer you.Less tensions and more enjoyment.I have covered a lot of ground in Worry-part one,which I will not repeat here.But since this malaise often crosses constructive limits,here are a few suggestions for getting rid of it:
Maintain A Worry Journal
A Worry Journal is an effective tool for cutting down the disquieting spells.Start a worry journal and enter the various worries which stressed you,at the end of the day.Number them.Enter the matter which demands urgent attention at the top.

Next day decide what you will do about worry number one,and do it.Hopefully,that should be one important task accomplished and one worry less for you.Procrastination adds to the worry list and action decreases it.Repeat the same exercise at the end of the day.

On the third day again,attend to what requires your immediate attention,and in the evening jot down the worries which have been troubling you since morning;entering the severest one at the top again.

After a week,look at the various worries which had been plaguing you since you started your journal.Did any issue flare up to destroy your health, peace,performance or concord?How many were mere storms in a tea cup?And how many were just flights of your imagination or the result of over thinking?

Also,don't forget to pat your back for having settled some important problems instead of merely worrying about them.

Be More Rational In The Way You Think 

Whenever you feel threatened by ominous thoughts,check them with the ground reality.You may surprisingly realize that what you are fearing is not likely to happen.Or you have the potential to tackle it if it does.

Try To Tilt Your Mind Towards Happy Outcomes

Whenever you find yourself thinking about the outcome of a new development,focus more on the chances of it being good for you.When you know nothing about how it is going to turn out,why imagine the worst outcome?Planning what you will do if a crisis erupts is one thing,but obsessing about it till your equanimity touches the ground is another.
Talk It Out

Talking about what is troubling you with a friend or a family member will clear your mind and decrease anxiety.They may even suggest a way out of your predicament if there is a genuine problem.

Get Active

Instead of sitting and thinking,do some exercise.It will nullify the  ill effects of sitting and ruminating and also divert your mind from baleful thoughts.Yoga and meditation are very good for calming the mind.
Search Your Mind
The best way to tone down your worries is to search for the reason why you fret so much.Are you over-sensitive,pessimistic or ruminative by nature?Do you panic too soon or lack self confidence?Has a past incident jittered you so that you cannot be at ease?Whatever it is;try and get rid of that element which pushes you into the worry valley.          
Be Present In The Present
Neither the past,nor the future is in your hands.Inculcate more optimism in your thoughts and have faith in your own powers.And remember  

Image from google search.