Wednesday, August 15, 2012

# Emotional Maturity

Success and happiness are inter-related.While success is an important ingredient of  happiness ; happiness in turn facilitates  success.But there is another factor which is a prior requirement for both of these to happen and that is emotional maturity,or emotional fitness;or EQ.
 EQ is the ability to understand one's own emotions & have control over them on one hand;and to recognize the emotions of others & be able to get along with them ,on the other.It determines to a large extent,how successful,happy or popular a person will be.We often come across people who are physically and mentally fit & have brilliant academic history;but they fail to realize their full potential.Success evades them and their relationships too,leave much to be desired.A deeper insight is likely to reveal that they lack EQ,which would have helped them to bond with people & make best use of available circumstances and resources.

Understanding our own emotions

A person having a high EQ knows his strengths & weaknesses very well.


He will channelize his energies in the direction in which his talents lie.

He has a clear idea of his goals,& the best way to achieve them.

His intentions & actions are streamlined.

He is confident of his abilities,& can take independent decisions.


Since he knows his shortcomings and does not have any false hang-ups,he does not hesitate to ask for help when necessary.

He has ample self-confidence & self-esteem.

He loves his surroundings & fellow beings.

That is why forming intimate relationships is easy for him.


Knowing his emotions is not all;he also has sufficient control over them:Come a ticklish situation,& he knows how to respond.

Anger,hatred & jealousy are kept safely in check.


Unexpected twists & turns do not fluster him because he has confidence in his ability to handle any situation.

He can adapt to unfavorable circumstance,& is quick to forgive those who rub him the wrong way.

If he commits a mistake he does not hesitate to say sorry & make amends.

He is equanimous in all situations & balanced in his reactions.

His behavior is consistent & predictable-no mood swings there!

Understanding others

He can easily decipher the emotions & intentions of other people.

He respects their views, but also knows how to convert them to his own line of thinking.

He is a powerful motivator.

When it comes to interactions with others;empathy & an ability to look at contentious issues from others' point of view is his forte. 

He does not hold back praise & appreciation.

He can also handle their outbursts without acrimony.

He does not hold grudges-knows how to forgive.

Always ready with a helping hand.He is a strong support for anyone in trouble.


It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that these skills bequeath a distinct advantage to a person in personal,social & professional areas.Other things being equal,a person with a high EQ has better chances of success & happiness than others.The upheavals of life sometimes make it difficult for us to remain in full control but a good EQ can definitely make it easier.

39 comments :

  1. Interesting post Indu, and I think exercise, yoga , meditation etc help in dealing with stress and raising our EQ levels....

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  2. Very true Jaishree,thanks for this input.

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  3. Stress is a huge contributor to declining mental health and a sedentary lifestyle to declining physical health. As per your question, I try hard but sometimes provocation gets on to me. I am trying to consciously control that by forcing myself to react calmly. Good post, Indu!

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    1. Oh yes ,a sedentary lifestyle is certainly bad for both kinds of health.

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  4. Very well explained, Indu, and so true. The tendency to measure everything in terms of intelligence and aptitude usually ends up sidelining the most important aspect of health/fitness, which is the ability to build, nurture and sustain emotional bonding. Like you have explained, this goes beyond just relationships with others, on both vertices, relationship with self, and relationship with the universal intent. These are essential for good health.

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    1. Thanks for your insight-illuminating,as usual.

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  5. Interesting post. I agree with what you have said. Though high IQ I don't know. Not sure if the smarter person is necessarily happier. Ignorance is bliss they say you know.

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    1. Yes, often ignorance IS bliss,& mere high IQ could come to naught----most patients of OCD &Schizophrenia have good IQs.

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  6. The first step to a decent EQ is Empathy - the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes and view the situation from his/her perspective.

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    1. You are right,empathy covers up many flaws.

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  7. A nice post Indu where you covered all the dimensions of a balanced life in an eloquent manner:)

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    1. Your comment is so encouraging Rahul.

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  8. Indu,

    Very well analysed! Regardless... working to increase emotional intelligence everywhere is a good idea...:))
    Enjoyed reading this!

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    1. Panchali thanks a lot for this lovely comment,sorry i am so late in replying.

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  9. I have a lot of posts to catch up with. I'm glad I came by today. This post made me stop and look within. Thank you. :)

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  10. Nice! useful and very well put up...quite interesting at that!!

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    1. Thank you Amit jee,i am glad you like it.

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  11. Very useful and helpful tips ma'm. Will surely try to follow. I feel all 3 are interdependent on each other, to achieve high EQ , you need to possess good IQ and also physical and mental fitness.

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    1. Akshay you have given the gist of the whole matter so beautifully,thanks!

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  12. A very nicely written and thought-out post. Interesting and enlightening read, Indu! :)

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    1. Vaishali welcome to jeeteraho,thanks for appreciating the post!!!

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  13. So true Indu,
    as they say a intelligent enemy is better than a foolish friend :)

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  14. I agree, first and foremost is your PF. And thanks for those EQ points. Very informative and wise.
    :)

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  15. quite interesting...

    http://apparitionofmine.blogspot.in/

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  16. first time here, it seems we have some common blogs where I see you too :)

    Well I beleive that Presonal health should always be a priority nothing comes before that , being ma martyr etc is not going to help anything ...

    I have a interesting job and it kinda helps me relieve that stress a lot, and I love going for my evening shift :) although there are situation where I lose my cool and it seems I will burst .. but i have learned to live with it now .. and not do anything stupid.. plus i have some very good colleagues who know that moment and step in ..

    Lovely pointers up there .. thanks for sharing

    Bikram's

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  17. Welcome here Bikramjit,thanks for the endorsement.....having a job one enjoys is itself a stress buster,we all have moments of weakness but learning & evolving is the essence of life....you are lucky to have caring friends-touch wood!

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  18. what a wonderful thought-provoking post!

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  19. Double thanks to you-i wrote it after you asked me why no new post?

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  20. A very high IQ at times automatically means low EQ. Wonder if the reverse also happens.
    Nice post, it's got me thinking.

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  21. Medha your comment has set me thinking too.Those who have a sky high IQ are some times lost to the world -like Eienstein -busy with their own achievements.But the reverse is unlikely.In fact so many manipulators & con men are very good at impressing people,yet they have well thought out strategies & not low in intelligence.

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  22. I'm sure there are neurologists around the world figuring out what triggers what, so let's leave it at that. :)

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