Monday, August 5, 2013

# Resilience

Remember the toy that,no matter which side you hit it from,stood up again?It had resilience in ample measure and who would not like to be blessed similarly?Because life will knock us down now & then and we cannot afford to keep lying there.But sometimes getting up again seems more difficult than reaching for the moon.Yet there are individuals who do just that when they are struck by misfortune.

Here i am reminded of a super star who incurred colossal debts & was forced into semi-retirement for five years. But he explored new avenues and is still raking the moolah even though he is nearing seventy years of age.

It is no doubt the quality of resilience which empowers a person to overcome all odds and stand up again.We all have it in varying measures but those who find themselves lacking can certainly take steps to increase it.Here are some tips:---

*When circumstances change drastically flexibility comes to rescue, therefore guard against rigidity.No matter how dear,attractive or promising a dream was;when it shatters a new one has to be dreamt. So go ahead and do it.

*Now that you have bid goodbye to the old and accepted the new scenario, it is necessary to make the required changes.Think deeply--what is the need of the hour,which options are open to you,what talents and resources you have, and then reinvent yourself.

*But wait!If a recent calamity has sapped your confidence then what hope do you have of re-establishing yourself?Build up a strong belief in your abilities.Think back to the occasions when you overcame adversity & crossed hurdles.Take baby steps in the new direction.Every small success will increase your confidence & soon you will realize that you are doing fine;and can take on bigger tasks.

*Confidence needs to be accompanied by optimism.Have faith that the outcome of this change will be good,that even though it is not exactly what you would have asked for;it could still have certain plus points;or at least this--that you will be able to manage whatever comes your way.Positive Thinking is an important constituent of success.

*Confidence & optimism can be put to action only when you have a realistic goal in front of you.Determine your short term & long term goals carefully.After you have deliberated over the pros & cons of your decision, chart out your game plan & spell out the steps to be taken in order of priority.

*Take decisive steps towards your goal.

*While you are doing this make full use of your resources.The best resource is strong supportive relationships, whether in family or outside.Relationships provide role models for guidance and also inculcate reassurance & enthusiasm through their loving trust.You can share your worries or fears,seek solutions & get feed-back regarding your efforts.

*It is not easy to overcome all upheavals.Certain tragedies like loss of limb or death or disease of a dear person, can result in long grieving periods.Reaching out to other similarly hit persons can be therapeutic when all else has failed.Many people who suffered a loss due to Cancer,H.I.V or some other fatal disease threw themselves into a cause for the welfare of others suffering from it and therein found a purpose for their lives. Samir Zaveri is one such hero.

*Religion or Spirituality can also help you tide over difficult times.The conviction that a supreme being will help you to overcome & take care of you, can be very empowering.It is a stabilizing force for those who are thus inclined.

*However, not everyone has such faith.Those who need external help in order to find solace can take the help of counselors.

*Adapting to challenging situations demands energy & equanimity.Take good care of your health in order to achieve this-eat well,sleep well & take up a physical routine of your choice to keep you supple & active.Above all,do not indulge in any form of substance abuse in a fit of depression.

*When a daunting reality stares you in the face it is natural to yearn for the old,comfortable set-up.But as you accept the change & view it with an open mind,you will soon realize that it has a brighter side too:-----
*For one,it will enable you to evolve & learn new tricks.
*You will sense greater confidence in your ability to weather a storm.
*Your resourcefulness will come to the fore& you will learn new problem solving skills.
*And lastly,you will also find out which are the ties you can depend upon.
Therefore, try to look for the silver lining in those ominous clouds.

Everything happens for a reason.When a traumatic event is viewed as only one part of the vast panorama of life it becomes more bearable.Docket it in it's proper place and remember:----
Sometimes Grace comes in the form of a punch in the face.
Mary Elder.
Image courtesy google.


  1. Yes Indy , sometimes picturizing ourselves in the big picture of the universal existence helps . Nice write up . Calamities may push us down but when we rise we are stronger sturdier and more resilient right ?

    1. Jaishree you have spelled out the very core of my post-thanks.

  2. nice one Indu :) Worth following :)

  3. Indu very motivational post. First time on your blog. Hope to be here more.

  4. A very warm welcome to you Bushra.It will be a pleasure to see you here more often.

  5. Life is a challenge.It is upto individuals as to how best the react to a given status.
    We may or may not agree,.but,it is a combo of luck and persistance which comes handy

  6. I am Inspired Indu Ji is what all I can say...I always have the attitude "When Life hits you hard,stand up and say is that all energy you got" and it really make me more strong and confident..

    Thanks for sharing such an Inspiring Post.. :-)

    1. I love your attitude Harsha--that is the stuff fighters n heroes are made of.
      Glad you liked it.

  7. A beautiful and inspiring post Indu ji .
    We have seen people crumble and take their families with them we have seen empires roll to dust and we have also seen people like the superstar you have mentioned crumble and rise and that too inspite of physical ailments ---he should be a role model for all .

    your post reminded me of the old song

    mutthi me hai taqdeer hamari
    humne kismet ko bas me kiya hai

    thanks alot
    warm regards rajni

    1. Rajni no post is complete without your endearing comments-thanks a lot.

      People taking their families with them is very true & very tragic today.When frustrated,so many people nowadays take it out on their kids--because they are the most vulnerable & easy targets?
      You have touched a sickening trend there.

      Love n hugs.

  8. Very inspiring and needful post, Indu.

    I have normally found that it is those who tie up their own respect for themselves with what they have - instead of in what they are - who feel destroyed by calamities.

    1. Very insightful,Suresh.
      This is a dominant syndrome today.
      Thanks for the encouragement.

  9. Great post. Every bit is true.

  10. A very inspiring post and could not agree more!

  11. Replies
    1. thank you.
      Btw when i click your post i see no link for comments.

  12. Truly inspiring post, Indu!How we respond to any situation reveals a lot about our attitude and perception....
    "Docket it in it's proper place and remember:----
    Sometimes Grace comes in the form of a punch in the face.
    Mary Elder."
    Immaculate tip!And I couldn't have agreed more..!Great post, as always!

    1. Thanks for this fab comment-loved it .You are good for the soul Panchali.

  13. That superstar is a living legend and inspiration to many. I loved when you said, 'when a dream shatters, a new one has to be found.' I feel nothing should be so important that it has the ability to shatter you. You should always remember that life moves on and 'life' is more important.

  14. True ,life is bigger than any setback.It gives second chances too.
    Thanks for stopping by.

  15. Brilliant! Your blog is truly motivational.

    1. No less than your comment Karthik!
      Thanks a ton!

  16. In this context, a touchy dialogue of the movie Rocky Balboa I remember:
    "The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!"

    1. Anunoy welcome to jeeteraho.That is one powerful dialogue-the very gist in fact.
      Thanks for highlighting the essence of this subject.

  17. I think Indu,problems seem bigger no matter whatever our ages are in fact .. all the phases have their own share of challenges which can be taken as one or can be termed as a problem or can be taken as a constant process of being tested ..
    Contentment is necessary and going on is a must too ... the example you sighted is one of those persons who always inspires me .. He who was the King undisputed .. had to come out of his shell and ask for a role .. if he has learnt it that way .. most of us are very small in front of that world renowned name and what must be the height of his ego and self esteem - the mirror of which he crashed and came out as a winner yet again and bigger this time ..
    awesome post !!

  18. Hey Indu. That's a very comprehensive & cohesive framework of guidelines for people struggling with (negative) change. While in college, our psychiatry professor once said, 'most people who lose in life are actually defeated by their own thoughts, their tendency to limit the expectations from their own life, & their reluctance to hope.'

    The importance of positive thinking & optimism in life can never be overemphasized.

    A very guiding & enlightening article this is.

    1. Thanks for your commendation Deepak--knowing that you were a student of psychiatry makes them even more precious.
      You know,when i read your poetry i thought that perhaps you were a Phd in literature,but now i know that my first guess was correct.
      It is always a delight to read your comments.


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