Tuesday, June 9, 2015

How Many More Suicides ?

How many more suicides till we finally awaken?In the last four days three students who had come to Kota  to build up their careers, succumbed to pressure and met an untimely end.Two committed suicide while one girl who had been brought here by her father to join coaching classes was allegedly strangulated by him because of financial constraints,before he too committed suicide.Today's Rajasthan Patrika informs that Sarthak,in the news item above, had come to Kota of his own volition but he was under so much of stress that he hung himself even before giving the very first test.

These days there is a mad rush of girls and boys who have passed Secondary or Sr.Secondary Board examination to attend coaching institutes which  prep them for entrance examinations to prestigious institutions, like IIT-Jee,AIPMT,AIEEE,PMT etc.Some come even before passing tenth.Young children,barely sixteen years of age leave the warmth of their family and known surroundings and jump into a seething cauldron of cut-throat competition.

Some have a burning ambition to join an IIT or a medical college and they are well prepared to slog for all they are worth.Some others come to Kota egged on by The Bandwagon Effect.The third category is of students whose parents have this obsession that their child must study at a top-notch college and have an outstanding career.

The regime at the coaching Institutes is very tough.There are long study hours and no means of relaxation or entertainment.Students are placed in batches according to their performance.There will be at least 8-10 batches in any reputed institute and 150-250 students in every batch.Periodical Sunday tests determine their ranking.A slip in rank can push a student down into a lower batch.

This grading system is a cause of severe stress to students because everybody knows that all selections are from the top two batches only.Students are under unimaginable pressure to improve their grades.A tiny slip and they begin to  fret that they will not be able to join any reputed college,their parents will be disappointed and they would be responsible for a sizable drain in the  family's funds.Yet they chug on,hoping and toiling harder still.When the pressure becomes too much and they see no signs of the tide turning,they quietly leave this hostile world.

The crux of the whole matter is,why should those who have no aptitude for this sort of grueling regime opt for it in the first place?Sixteen year olds can barely judge what is good for them,what they are best suited for.They need guidance.But the current craze for elite universities followed by high-paying jobs has a different focus altogether.

The students as well as their parents dream of blue-ribbon careers and will not relent even if a void looms ahead.Only recently two students killed themselves after coming back from a trip home.You can guess what must have firmed their resolve to commit suicide.

Is it money,glamour,competition,rivalry or one-up-man-ship which drives such people?Can parents not feel proud of children who have the right values,earn an honest salary,and lead a wholesome life with work,relaxation and relationships-all in place?Why this craze to be more,do more and have more?

Ambition is fine,we all strive to upgrade ourselves but money alone should not be the benchmark.Even lots of it,cannot buy happiness.Nor can it revive health once lost.
The stress that youngsters undergo for the sake of bettering their image and status is damaging their mental and physical health.

I have met and counseled many medical ,engineering aspirants but more about them in my next post.

Do you agree with what I have put forth?






25 comments :

  1. I think we need all round awareness about alternate careers but the most important thing is to relaise that that its better to do what one likes than just for getting big money. Most of the parents use children as medals and brainwash them from their childhood to get a good job and good job doesnt mean their job satisfaction but with fat pay packet..
    My own nephew is working 14 hrs a day, spoiling his health but his parents are happy because he has good salary..

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    1. Yes it is mainly money which motivates youngsters to choose unsuitable,grueling careers.

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  2. And isn't it ironic that parents realize they were wrong only when its too late?

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    1. Must be very torturous to live with this guilt.

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  3. It makes me sick to the guts. I see many such parents around me. It is a mad rush to be better than the best. They hardly care what they put their child through. Everything you said made sense. Yet, some parents only learn when it is too late.

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  4. It makes me sick to the guts. I see many such parents around me. It is a mad rush to be better than the best. They hardly care what they put their child through. Everything you said made sense. Yet, some parents only learn when it is too late.

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  5. It makes me sick to the guts. I see many such parents around me. It is a mad rush to be better than the best. They hardly care what they put their child through. Everything you said made sense. Yet, some parents only learn when it is too late.

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    1. Rachna these times are difficult for raising children,and for the children too.How stressed their life is.

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  6. I really do not understand this, Indu! When I was young the pressure to join IIT or a top notch medical college was more a matter of survival. Jobs were very few - even for engineers from what used to be the RECs (NITs now) and the only sure shot for employment was the IIT or one of the top medical colleges. Otherwise, you could end up in the limbo of the educated unemployed. Parental pressure, then, was far more understandable. NOW, job options are far more than they used to be so it seems so stupid that parents will put their children through hell only because they want their progeny to be able to buy a better car or whatever. Makes you feel that humanity cannot really lay claims to being Homo Sapiens - it is more like Homo Stupidus.

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    1. Precisely what i think.Today there is no dearth of career lines to choose from-even a chef is glamorous.Why then focus on what everybody else is doing?

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  7. I so agree with you, aunty. It makes me scared some times...when my kid is not on par..when he is not as smart..when we don't push as much....but where is the limit? A lot of peer pressure for parents as well. They want to give the best to their children irrespective of the capabilities of the child. They want them to have the life they don't. It's a big vicious circle :(

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    1. You have shown me the other side of the picture Latha.Now i understand the parents'dilemma better.Thanx

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  9. I agree with Latha here. With children giving so much lip to their parents after being given the right to ask them why they were brought into the world if they couldn't give what they wanted, leave alone deserved, parents have to bend over backward and bankrupt themselves to educate their kids. This is not to say that there are many parents who do it for their own pride and bragging rights. May I share one post I had done long ago on this topic? Having put two boys through engineering college, both of them brilliant in studies and with aptitude too, I have gone through the grind and tension twice over. I remember wishing heartily that at least one of them had opted for some other course :) Money certainly isn't everything, but is slowly becoming everything, very very sad, but true.

    This is the link: http://wp.me/pKQTL-2M

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    1. Zephyr i would be the last person to say that kids should not be given what they want or deserve even if the parents have to cut corners--whether the kids give them lip or not.If a kid does not have the caliber or tenacity to pursue a particular line yet insists on trying for it,influenced by his friends,let him try by all means.
      The fault lies,not in doing what they want,but in forcing them to do what the parents want.
      Your sons are brilliant-they achieved what they dreamt of --so satisfying it must have been for you.
      But some parents just throw them into water,hoping they will swim across.

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  10. I do agree, doc! And you're doing a great job...wish more people (competent and qualified ones) realized this and did their bit! I felicitate you!!

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    1. Thanks for the compliment Amit ji,you are very kind :)

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  11. Totally agree with you, Induji.
    Mad rush & silly choices. May the kids get to do what their aptitude is. Then, we'll have a happy workforce, rather than a forced & strained lot...
    3 Idiots movie highlighted this issue.

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    1. Yes no doubt,a happy.healthy work force.
      Thank you Anita.
      Love.

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  12. A very relevant post again Indu ji

    Personally I think these suicides are a result of many reasons and we cannot pin point a single one .There is their own ambition, then peer pressure , parental pressure , the shame of not being able to compete ------the main reason being ignorance of alternative careers and the most important SECURITY and scope of success in these alternate careers ----Parens feel that the traditional jobs will atleast make sure that their children will get their bread and butter without any hitch --its OK to become a photographer or a singer or a model BUT the uncertainities invilved and the amount of hard work required to reach the top is a big deterrent . And then we Indians still feel the pride in saying that our kids have succesfully competed in PMT or PET etc .

    Though new careers are coming up but their scope is limited to the Metros ----we ourselves were so relieved when our elder daughter passed her PMT ---itna toh sure thaa that she would get a job some where or the other specially after marriage whereas when the younger one opted fot MBA we knew the sky was the limit for her bUT our minds were put to rest only after she secured a job in a multinational ----so it is a million dollar question , and a vicious circle ---and of course there seems to be not solution ---except of course a rapport between the parents and children so that children have faith in themselves and in their parents and refrain from taking such drastic steps .

    I dont know if I have been able to say what I wanted to but .yes it all very very alarming

    thanks
    love
    and regards

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    1. Very well analyzed Rajni,i agree with all that you have put forth so lucidly.The pressure on our kids comes from many sources.The whole atmosphere today is of competition and big ambitions.
      Love n hugs.

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  13. What a wonderful blog post. If children are valued for themselves and their choices respected rather than sacrificed on the altar of 'success' such sad decisions made by the young would become less common place.

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    1. Kalpna welcome to jeeteraho.I am happy you liked the first post you read here.You too,have put it beautifully in a nutshell.

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  14. I have seen children going into depression. It's a fad to send kids to Kota. For some parents it's a status symbol. Parents must check both intellectual and emotional quotient of their children before putting them under so much of a pressure.

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    1. Couldn't agree with you more on that Saru.Yes depression is seeping lower and lower.
      Love.

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