Some time back a young couple and their three year old kid came to live in my neighborhood.From the very first day the girl--call her Ria--impressed me immensely.She was smart and intelligent--but that is no rarity (even i am,yes seriously!).What won me over was her friendly outgoing nature.Despite the obvious age gap she befriended me immediately.Was I impressed--I who take a decade to strike up a friendship!I secretly decided to learn some tricks from her.Let me take you on a trip down my memory lane to share those tricks in case you too,need to burnish your friend-making skills.I am sure you will come out enriched.
First and foremost-come to first name terms as soon as possible.If the other person is much older than you then choose between aunty,dadi (granny),or nani(granny again)--whatever catches your fancy.I was aunty to Ria and dadi to the kiddo.You must try this mantra-it guarantees instant success.
That done,she invited me to her home to show how she had done up the house.She asked my advice and came up with many family details--even secrets (well,I am like that only,everybody confides in me ).
Next day she came up to sit and chat with me as if she liked nothing better than interacting with an old lady.She was never tongue-tied or short of things to say.This became a daily routine.She would saunter into the rooms and admire my taste.
Next on agenda--'come aunty see what I made for lunch today.Taste this,I make it like this etc etc'.Then a dish of something prepared by her arrives at my door.Now I too am obliged to flaunt my non-existent culinary skills.What to do?Such a sweet girl--I cannot disappoint her.
In between all this Rup (the kid) climbs up the stairs and asks me"Dadi can I come over?"I am floored,reminded of my own grandchildren.I welcome him with open arms and try to entertain him.This becomes a daily routine.Rup,all freshly bathed,comes over because as Ria told me,he has taken to us like his own grand parents whom he misses sorely.So we both-I and my better half-- gear up to entertain Rup,skipping our daily routines while she attends to her household chores.No,she does not have a job outside her home.
Then Rup joins a play school.Every day before taking him there Ria brings him over to say 'Bye' to us.How endearing and thoughtful of her!These two have infused a lot of cheer into our dull routine.Upon coming back from play school Rup again comes up to share with us all that he did in school.
This goes on for many days till we begin to feel tired and used.So one day we are forced to turn him back.Ria as I said before,is extremely smart.She shifts her focus upon another neighbor who had earlier not merited a single glance from her.Rup is introduced to them and he goes there to play with their children who are considerably older than him.He has found three new sisters!
Rup is a sweet kid and truly fond of us as we are of him--although entertaining him for long hours does wear us down.Whenever he sees us sitting out he wants to come over but he is yanked away.We also miss the daily'Good Morning aunty' and Good Morning uncle',but what to do;our popularity has dwindled to it's nadir.It finally dawns on us that it was not our pristine goodness which had drawn Ria to us!!!!
So tell me,how do you like these tricks and skills ?
Then Rup joins a play school.Every day before taking him there Ria brings him over to say 'Bye' to us.How endearing and thoughtful of her!These two have infused a lot of cheer into our dull routine.Upon coming back from play school Rup again comes up to share with us all that he did in school.
This goes on for many days till we begin to feel tired and used.So one day we are forced to turn him back.Ria as I said before,is extremely smart.She shifts her focus upon another neighbor who had earlier not merited a single glance from her.Rup is introduced to them and he goes there to play with their children who are considerably older than him.He has found three new sisters!
Rup is a sweet kid and truly fond of us as we are of him--although entertaining him for long hours does wear us down.Whenever he sees us sitting out he wants to come over but he is yanked away.We also miss the daily'Good Morning aunty' and Good Morning uncle',but what to do;our popularity has dwindled to it's nadir.It finally dawns on us that it was not our pristine goodness which had drawn Ria to us!!!!
So tell me,how do you like these tricks and skills ?
Really? I can't believe people think like that....ahhh well, yes, they can. I know a lady who used me for all her needs and then avoided my son because she thought her kids would be spoiled by his bad influence. That's a different story anyway. You are asking me, how do I like such people? I feel like giving a slap on their face, but I cannot do that :( I am too polite sometimes, which is not good
ReplyDeleteHaha ! You gave me a hearty laugh Latha,your frankness is endearing.
ReplyDeleteLots of love.
Well - Indu - I HATE them :) And pity them too - since it is such a barren life to see all people around you exclusively in terms of their usefulness to you.
ReplyDeleteYou have a point there-if they cultivate folks only for their use then who will care for them?
DeleteHmm..I hate them..:-) Nicely written Indu :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking time to read.
DeleteI have seen many like this. I am scared to make new friends.
ReplyDeleteWell written and the topic put across well.
Thanks for your support Indrani.
DeleteSadly there are many like these around and true friendships are dwindling because of the same
ReplyDeleteVery true!
DeleteI hate such people..I had come across a family like this who once made my life miserable and had to get rid of them literally..very well written..
ReplyDeleteThank you Ranita i am happy to see you here :)
DeleteInteresting tricks - will work in short run. But I guess in the long run, such things do not work. Word spreads around and people start avoiding.
ReplyDeleteAs Suresh said-these people must have barren lives.
DeleteI nevr liked fake people..
ReplyDeleteYeah! :(
DeleteGreat tips! I'm so bad at it:(
ReplyDeleteBetter to be bad at this Amit ji.
DeleteI like them,but,would keep them at a distance.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand them for long
Chowla ji thanks for reading.
DeleteKids are so smart these days! :) Loss of innocence, while smartness means all tactics!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I detest it, Induji!
Yes,so do i.
DeleteThanks for coming over Anita.
Why am I not feeling surprised at the sudden turn of events?
ReplyDeleteLet's just say, I've always believed in genuineness of people who take time to open up and warm up to you. Instant relationships are borne out of necessity.
Happy to see you here Purba.You certainly have a point---something to be wary of.
DeleteBeing used is nothing new to me, Indu. I take people at face value and give them my all but soon end up feeling used and even abused, when my usefulness is felt no more. I used to think I will learn, but I still haven't. So these days, I feel safer pulling away and remaining aloof except with those I can really trust. And yes, I am also taking people with a pinch of salt and am in danger of having high BP due to all the salt I am consuming :D :D
ReplyDeleteZephyr gentle souls will have this woe.The hunters can gauge their prey very well.And gentle souls will retreat rather than turn aggressor.
DeleteFinally it is a choice between BP and being conned.Better the former,no :(
Very interesting how after a time, people's true colors are revealed. I think almost always! They can hide who they are under a demeanor of sweetness and false friendship for awhile but not forever. It must wear them down as well as the ones being used...it can't be easy living like that either.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this happened, you deserve much better. :)