An All-time Friend

 These days if you are literate and own a smart phone,there is no dearth of friends-those stemming from social media specially.But how many are truly your friends?Those who care for you and will ease you out of your doldrums?Sadly,very few.Perhaps because everyone is so busy these days.There are important apps to be checked and       deadlines to be faced.That is why if you are in the crux of a sorry state it is best to climb out of it through your own efforts.This becomes difficult when you are in the grip of anxiety.Thughts muddle up and a clear solution vis-a-vis the problem is hard to come by.

However there is an important friend waiting to help you.If you shudder at the onset of a climax,positive thinking will come to your aid.Recall your past succeses and achievements.It was you who did all that.You are the same person today and you can do it again.Positive thinkers have an innate ability to do this but it can be acquired with due practise.

We are all humans and humans can commit a mistake now and then.If you have done some wrong in the past,quit fretting about it.Forgive yourself,don't allow it to flog you.You realize that you were wrong and hence you are wiser today than you were at that time.Lesser chances of committing a mistake again!

Sometimes events occur at their own velocity.Despite best intentions and efforts you may not be able to prevent them.Forgive yoursels.Take such events in your stride and don't flog yourself unnecessarily.Be positive,hope for better events in future.

The benefits of positive thinking are numerous.Tensions decrease and your mental health enriches appreciably.Your physical health too improves,lesser chances of poor sleep or heart trouble.You become resilient,have better coping skills,attract friends and face life with eqanimity.What's more,your self-confidence increases and you develop a fighting mode to overcome your problems.Only your all-time-friend can do this.Adopt it now! 

Happiness in this whirl-pool of social networking

social-network has many benefits.It keeps us busy and well informed.We come to know about the nuances of the world around us-what is in vouge and what is redundant.

But what does it do to our mind-set?Do we feel inferior,incompetent or isolated in this whirlpool?Does it leave us depressed or elated?This is one query which deserves pondering.After all our progress and achievements depend upon how we feel.

So here is a post about social-networking and happiness.Most of the chats on social media describe the owners' achievements,their special days and the likes or dislikes which they recieve.Viewed from a neutral vantage point,not all chats may be true or authentic.But they do have a lot of impact on our minds.In order to gauge our own status in this milieu let us consider our own behaviour first.

1. Do we believe all the chats on the social-network as being 100% true and leave no space for our own judgement?
2. Comparisons-Do we tend to compare our own status,achievements,friend circle and popularity with those of others?A friend might be good in developing social relationships but I may have some other talent.
3. Are we ignoring real-time relationships and connecting only through  phone?
4. Are we proactive?Do we    face problems as soon as they appear or do we dilly-dally and spend time on the social media to ease our minds?

According to Dalai Lama "Happiness is not something ready-made.It comes from our own actions".So here are a few pointers to guide us all:

Flexibility-Life may not follow the road-map laid down by you.Unforeseen events can pose  problems.Flexibility  alone can keep us sane.Even Lord Ram had to face a down-turn in his youth.He gauged the circumstances and acted accordingly.Ups and downs are a part of life.Those who lose courage after a set-back will not be able to correct their circumstances and find happiness.

Gratefulness=One discord or a negative event is only-THAT-one part of life.It does not eliminate other factors which are still working for you.Be thankful for them and take their help to move forward.

Rmination-Thinking all the time about how happy you were,or how in past everything  took place just the way you wanted it to;is no way to be happy.Obsessing about the negative events only causes misery.Rumination ruins happiness.

Negativity-We meet all kinds of people in life-some may be cheerful and positive while some others may always be obsessed because of their fears and tragedies.Associating with the second kind will overshadow your own cheerfulness.Shun them where possible.

Me-time-In the routine of daily life,find time to follow pursuits which make you happy.

Keeping the above elements in mind will save you from heartache so that you can tread your path and be happy.

Rituals

These days I am more of an observer rather than a doer.Many coaching students and their mothers or grand-mothers live nearby.I see the ladies go to a park in front of my home early morning and conduct various rituals.One comes with a small utensil containing I don't know what, to be laid down at the feet of the God,while another plucks flowers to do the same.There is another one who pours water at the root of a tree-perhaps Peepal.

I believe they do all  this for the sucess,health and long life of their family.That much is obvious.But how effective these rituals are in the house of Lord?This I don't know.Do these small gestures change our destiny?Can they?Are we or aren't we predestined from the very beginning?A famous idiom proclaims-as you sow,so you shall reap;but can such rituals change the outcome of our actions?This question puzzles me.Can any one enlighten me?

What Is Your Special Characteristic ?

We meet countless people in our life-time in as many circumstances and at as many places.Some,we forget immediately,or soon after,but but some leave an indelible imprint on our heart or brain.It is not even as if we have a strong relationship with them.Even chance-encounters can have that effect.In a previous post titled  "When Strangers Leave Pleasant Memories" I recounted a few incidents where random remarks of strangers are still fresh in my mind,even after decades.Perhaps they revealed an outstanding characteristic of those persons.

This leads to the main subject of this post.What is it in a person's behaviour which tags along whenever we think of that person?Which characteristic is his/her special feature?One which sticks to them in our memory?For example a friend of mine is mostly very reserved,quiet and a loner.It sticks to her like the bindi on her forehead.Yet another one is friendly and gregarious.A meeting with her will pep you up for hours.Another acquaintance of mine is the exact opposite-always moaning about her health or life-conditions.One more,whom I often encounter asks endless personal,irrelevant questions.No wonder people shun her at first sight.

Now to the next subject-what is your special characteristic-one which sticks to you in others' mind?Can you come up with a quick answer?So difficult,no?I myself don't know how you all remember me.It is difficult to answer this question,but if I did,I could take a step or two to improve myself.Do you all ever ponder about this?Do let me know.

Does God Exist ?

This topic has puzzled man since eons.Now a famous scientist of Harvard University Dr Willie Soon has stated:

"One could perhaps describe the situation by saying that God is a mathematician of a very high order, and he used very advanced mathematics in constructing the universe,".He said this in a piece in the Scientific American.He further said that life we know wouldn't have existed if the gravitational quality of various objects had been slightly higher or lower that what it is.

Now read a post I wrote two years ago on a similar theme 

God,the Greatest Scientisthttps://jeeteraho.blogspot.com/2023/03/god-greatest-scientist.html

This was from a layman's point of view.I have never been a student of science-only an avid interest in Astronomy.Don't my views synchronize with those of a great scientist?Ha ha!

God,the Greatest Scientist

https://jeeteraho.blogspot.com/2023/03/god-greatest-scientist.html.

Harvard astrophysicist Dr Willie Soon recently unveiled a mathematical formula that he believes can successfully prove the existence of God.

Harvard astrophysicist Dr Willie Soon recently unveiled a mathematical formula that he believes can successfully prove the existence of God.

Harvard astrophysicist Dr Willie Soon recently unveiled a mathematical formula that he believes can successfully prove the existence of God.

#Red Flags Of #Suicidal Students

I live in Kota a,go-to-place,for many aspiring doctors and engineers.Students from many places come here to join the local Coaching Institutes.What pains me immensely is the fact that many of them commit suicide when they feel that they cannot achieve their target.I have written about the possible causs of such incidents in my post about the Coaching Institutes of Kota.

Let us now consider the Red Flags which could indicate that a student is considering suicide--

• The student stops going to his classes when he realizes that he cannot fathom the subject being taught.
• His performance deteriorates.
• He avoids meeting his class mates and chums.
• He does not take part in social or institutional get-togethers.
• He becomes lethargy or sleepy.
• His remarks are often very pessimistic.He may talk of death and what happens after someone dies.
• He may say he has no chance of passing.
• He laments the lack of support from anywhere.
• He becomes violent and irritable.
• he may begin to take drugs or alcohol.
• He has a break-up with his close friend.
• After a lenghty isolation he suddenly appears tp be happy.

The above factors could inicate that a student is about to take the plunge.If someone notices this and talks to him,the impending tragedy can be averted.Hence this post.

Though written about boys,it is equally applicable to girls.

Ill-effects Of A Guilt-complex

Guilt-complex is a persistent feeling of guilt about a misdemeanour which happened in the past.The person may or may not have been at fault,but the feeling of a lapse or misdeed haunts him strongly.It is so powerful that he is unable to sleep or do any constructive work.

• The Ill-effects-He worries a lot about his act and it's repercussions.Feelings of guilt and shame hound him.He repents what he did.Severe anxiety will not let him sleep or rest.He may have gastric problems or muscle tension too,which will produce new physical symptoms daily.A sense of inadeqacy may impel him to give up his goals and flounder in life.His relationships will be tarnished and his support groups too will dwindle.If this happened in relation to another person he might even suffer from paranoia,a fear that the opponent might take revenge upon him or cause him some other phyical harm
• Causes-Those who are perfectionists find it difficult to overlook even small imperfections.A person who has been brought up in a strict,upright environment sets high standards for his own behaviour.
• Remedy-Curing a guilt complex demands self-compassion and kindness.The sufferer should try to assess the situation rather that blaming his own self endlesly.Was he really at fault?May be yes,maybe not.We humans are not Gods.A fault here or there only asks that it should not be repeated and if possible,amends should be made.A person who follows a very strict code of conduct may unduly blame himmself.He should review the past and gauge if he  really was at fault.Perhaps anyone else would have done what he perforce did.Since he worries a lot about his guilt,he should identify  the triggers and  decide to not blame himself the next time a feeling of guilt surfaces.He should review the past from a new perspective,set more realistic standards for his own conduct and think if he would blame a known dear person as strongly,if he had done what he himself did.What happened in the past cannot be undone,it is best to forgive himself and move forward.Considering all aspects of that situation will help him to be more judicious.It is also   essential to set boundaries for his own behaviour in future and forgive himself if he erred.

Whatever the cause or type of a guilt complex,the fact remains that it is a terrible handicap.It erodes his self-esteem to such an extent that he shies from meeting and talking to others.Rumination about that past deed totally isolates him,inflicting more damage upon his mental health and daily life.He should desist from giving too much importance to any event,review the past in a balanced state of mind and seek professional help  without delay.Balanced judgement and rationality will give him solace.