When I was young and naive,or the world was more straight,or the crooks less crooked,I used to think that i could tell from a person's visage if he was normal or a criminal.But this fallacy has been disproved down the years.Looking at the pictures of many criminals in the media it is hard to believe that they have deplorable tendencies.The anti-social elements hide their villainous intentions thoroughly.Thus many innocent and vulnerable souls are victimized by perverts and scoundrels in various ways.
I was young when i met this couple-not only met but also associated with them for a good number of years.Let me name the husband D for obvious reasons.He lived nearby when we moved to the town and we were mighty impressed by his congeniality and helpful nature.The soul of courtesy,manners and politeness,he helped us settle down in a new city.
But as time passed we came to know about another side of his character.He was a thorough gentleman where officers' wives were concerned but not so with those belonging to the lower strata.This too was not as hideous as another vice of his-pedophilia. His demeanor was kind and friendly so that young kids did not fear going near him initially.And that trapped them.Many kids must have been traumatized at his hands though i cannot give you the exact number.In fact nobody can.
Many knew about his heinous acts but nobody confronted him outright.Some changed their residence,close friends discussed the matter in privacy and all those who got an inkling of his filthy behavior took care to protect their kids but none denounced or humiliated him publicly. Why? I don't know.
But this very lapse on part of the general public allowed him to carry on his nefarious activities unchecked.Child sexual abuse is one crime where the victim stays quiet-either out of fear or shame or ignorance of the fact that s/he has been exploited.Even if s/he confides in his/her parent the latter generally suppresses the fact to protect the child's reputation or peace of mind.
Ultimately,as is often the case,D completed his tenure and went away unpunished.
Next I will tell you his wife's reaction to,role in all this.
But as time passed we came to know about another side of his character.He was a thorough gentleman where officers' wives were concerned but not so with those belonging to the lower strata.This too was not as hideous as another vice of his-pedophilia. His demeanor was kind and friendly so that young kids did not fear going near him initially.And that trapped them.Many kids must have been traumatized at his hands though i cannot give you the exact number.In fact nobody can.
Many knew about his heinous acts but nobody confronted him outright.Some changed their residence,close friends discussed the matter in privacy and all those who got an inkling of his filthy behavior took care to protect their kids but none denounced or humiliated him publicly. Why? I don't know.
But this very lapse on part of the general public allowed him to carry on his nefarious activities unchecked.Child sexual abuse is one crime where the victim stays quiet-either out of fear or shame or ignorance of the fact that s/he has been exploited.Even if s/he confides in his/her parent the latter generally suppresses the fact to protect the child's reputation or peace of mind.
Ultimately,as is often the case,D completed his tenure and went away unpunished.
Next I will tell you his wife's reaction to,
Child sexual abuse is one issue which should not be hidden. As a kid there was this old man who once tried hanky panky with me and my usually very quiet mom got after him and fired him and that was the end to his interest in kids. Its a must to confront them and not let them carry on with this hideous act.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Athena,your mom set a fine example...but for a parent to take action first of all the child should confide in her/him...most children just keep quiet,although many parents do not accost the person even if told.
DeleteHe would have become a potential danger at some other place.
ReplyDeleteIn fact he was disgraced at the next place.
DeleteChildren,both boys and girls must be made aware of this issue well in time.
ReplyDeleteChild abuse world over is a realty and depends upon the civil society.more so in the parents to keep a check on the going ons in the neighbourhood and all around
The way this scourge is spreading-it is a crime to keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteAll that glitters is not gold eh ? God! Kids are so vulnerable and how would they know to identify men with such vices. Sad !
ReplyDeleteTrue-kids re vulnerable and these fiends are so wicked,it is tough indeed to identify them.
DeleteA very awakening post Indu ji
ReplyDeleteBut I think most of these people go unpunished because of lack of proof ---they have such gentlemanly manners that it is difficult to catch them unless red handed which is again very difficult ---for example I have seen men hug and kiss and act loving to a child whereas actually they have other intentions being fulfilled ---and even a person who can see through him finds it difficult to mention ---I am saying this because I have seen such things happening -----at times even the parents of the child don't notice such things
love and regards
rajni
Rajni you have hit the nail on the head-even if one suspects one feels awkward saying something but this hesitation costs the child hugely.
DeleteI don't think any cases are filed for child molestation-the act is so subtle and vague.
This man was caught at the next posting but he was only dismissed and he went home.No case was filed.
What an easy escape.
Love n hugs.
Sexual perverts are impossible to spot. In fact, most look like really nice people.
ReplyDeleteTrue Alka---they hide their intentions well.
DeleteWe had a similar character in a locality we previously lived. An old widower living on his own and running a free library for kids. I did hear whispers that he was a bad character but nobody told me the exact nature. It emerged much later that the man was a pedophile. What shocked me was the quiet acceptance of this disgusting man's behaviour!
ReplyDeleteJust like you ,i too came to know very late what he was up to and you are right about the quiet acceptance.
DeleteInteresting post
ReplyDeletethank you Ali.
DeleteIndu! People like this actually leave me feeling dirty. I, normally, try to put myself in the shoes of people I am reading of - it is an unconscious reaction - and when I read of people like this it feels like shit to do it.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your comment i am thinking-how do such people live with their own selves?
ReplyDeleteI think we don't report such people because we'd have to explain in detail what they did and we know that gets leers out of a whole raft of people including some so-called officials.and makes the victims or people who complain feel dirty.
ReplyDeleteYes i believe you are right.
DeleteHow disheartening and disturbing to read this account of child abuse. Really feel for the innocent little ones, they suffer trauma for absolutely no reason.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to imagine how the poor little kids live through this trauma.
DeleteI don't know what to say. It's such a heinous crime. As a parent what we can do for our kid's safety. I would love to read an article or a topic on kids' safety regarding this matter from you, Induji.
ReplyDeleteYes Bharati,it is abominable.Today i post about his wife,i still do not know what to make of her.
DeleteHere are two links
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/06/how-to-tell-child-is-being-abused.html
http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2012/05/imagine-you-are-56or7yrs-old.html
Love.
This is sad. Guess all kinds of people exist in the world.
ReplyDeleteTrue.Don't you think some are sinking to new depths today?
DeleteA parent's greatest fear.
ReplyDeleteIt is downright frightening to read all the various ways molesters groom children before sometimes the actual molestation. I do think many times it begins so "innocently" that one feels foolish saying something. The response from others something like "What? How dirty YOUR mind must be to say such things of that kind old gentleman!" or something like that.
I'm very watchful of this myself but I know I can't always be there...
Thanks for the compliment.
ReplyDelete