We often hear of someone committing suicide over a break up.Sometimes it is not a single issue which instigates a person to take his life.If we could peep into that person's mind we would find a host of frustrations heaped therein.
Diwakar was one such boy--age 23 yrs,thin frail structure and a nervous demeanor.He was in the second year of his MA and holding a small job simultaneously.He lived in a joint family of eight members.He was the youngest of three sons.His elder brothers were also holding small jobs.His father ran a failing business and the family was under millions of debt.
Being under great pressure,he came to the point immediately.He had been in a relationship with a girl for the last two years.She got married to someone else because he had told her that he could not approach his parents for their alliance.He admitted that he was a coward.This girl got married six days ago.He had gone to attend her wedding in a neighboring town.
Now he was overcome with remorse.His friends were taunting him about his gf's marriage.Since the girl was his colleague,he did not know how he should relate to her when she took up her job.He also wondered what he should do if the girl made advances towards him--he did not wish to spoil her married life.His family's poverty and his own small-time job also frustrated him.What pained him most was his inability to stand up to his parents.
All in all,he was sorely disappointed with the whole scene and wanted to commit suicide; only here again he felt he was too much of a coward to be able to do so.Therefore he came to me for advice.
I counseled him suitably--telling him to come again if he felt depressed.
However,he did not come again.After six months i rang his home for a follow up.He was not at home but he returned my call soon after.He told me he had recovered from his break-up and was preparing for a competitive exam.I was very happy that he had taken positive steps to improve his life.This shows that it helps to talk when one is under a lot of stress.A sympathetic listener alone can ward off disaster.
Being under great pressure,he came to the point immediately.He had been in a relationship with a girl for the last two years.She got married to someone else because he had told her that he could not approach his parents for their alliance.He admitted that he was a coward.This girl got married six days ago.He had gone to attend her wedding in a neighboring town.
Now he was overcome with remorse.His friends were taunting him about his gf's marriage.Since the girl was his colleague,he did not know how he should relate to her when she took up her job.He also wondered what he should do if the girl made advances towards him--he did not wish to spoil her married life.His family's poverty and his own small-time job also frustrated him.What pained him most was his inability to stand up to his parents.
All in all,he was sorely disappointed with the whole scene and wanted to commit suicide; only here again he felt he was too much of a coward to be able to do so.Therefore he came to me for advice.
I counseled him suitably--telling him to come again if he felt depressed.
However,he did not come again.After six months i rang his home for a follow up.He was not at home but he returned my call soon after.He told me he had recovered from his break-up and was preparing for a competitive exam.I was very happy that he had taken positive steps to improve his life.This shows that it helps to talk when one is under a lot of stress.A sympathetic listener alone can ward off disaster.
Most of the times, problems loom large when you are only mulling them in your mind. The very fact of talking them out cuts them down to a size where we are able to see them as very manageable or, sometimes, as merely silly.
ReplyDeletegreat insight--as usual!
DeleteDiscussing one's problems/ issues with friends helps.
ReplyDeleteDepression is a state of mind and normally is focused on a single incident or an issue.
Chowla ji thanks for coming in.
DeleteYes, I believe thrashing things out with someone close always helps. A sympathetic ear can heal hearts. I have personally experienced this in my own life too and have lent my ears to many of my close friends as they have to me.
ReplyDeleteYes Rachna,that is the way,although most people are so taken up with their own troubles today,that many are alone with their problems.
Deleteprevious comment got lost Indu ji
ReplyDeleteBut I wanted to say Hats Off to you for having infused so much of positive energy into him that he was able to overcome his shyness his depression and be able to face the world and proceed ahead in his life. Lucky to have got a a counselor as devoted as you .
Merry Christmas a bit late in wisihing though :)
You made my day Rajni,thanx a million.
DeleteYou too have a nice enriching year ahead.
Love n hugs.
Nice to read about your cases. So many lives you save through your sage advise.
ReplyDeleteGlad you like them Karthik.Thanks a ton.
DeleteMost of us fail to listen and that is where we miss being empathetic! Hppy New Year Indu!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rahul,i too wish you a very Happy New Year.
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