Saturday, January 26, 2019

#Loneliness-The Latest Epidemic

Loneliness is a hallmark of modern life.Ironically,the more you are connected on social sites the less in real life.Go online and you will be flooded with messages and sermons but not one of them can give you company for a  cup of tea or a heart-to-heart talk.Everybody is so caught up with their work that there is little time to build lasting relationships.We are becoming lonelier by the day.

This is contrary to human nature.There is an inbuilt need for belonging in all of us,a connection with someone who knows us inside out,who will cheer us when we are sad,boost our morale when we are disheartened,and stand by us through thick and thin.But the basic necessities of life take up most of our time and nurturing relationships is unconsciously relegated to the background:relationships not only with family and friends but also with colleagues and neighbors.

Experts say that those who are well connected with others enjoy better physical and mental health.Life is more pleasant and enjoyable for them.Even a major upheaval or tragedy is better tolerated by those who are supported by their family,friends or community.They will bounce back faster.Their relationships assist and motivate them to move forward and achieve their goals.Therefore they are happy and well adjusted.

Loneliness on the other hand creates an aching void in the heart.Those who are lonely feel rejected by society,as if they are not good enough to be associated with.Even if their isolation is because of their own reticence a time may come when there is mounting resentment against others for neglecting them.The longer the period of seclusion,the greater the resentment.And when this anger comes out in unseemly behavior it gives people cause to shun them.Loneliness so impacts social skills that a time comes when they are as wary of approaching others,as other people are of accosting them.Hence it is best to beat loneliness as soon as one begins to feel it's pinch.

Overcoming Loneliness
  • Overcoming loneliness is not difficult at all.Start with the service providers.Say something more to them than you have been saying till now.It could be about their service or the weather or anything else which comes to your mind.My BH asked our postman why he had become so sluggish.He divulged that he was having a kidney problem.He has been ever so cooperative since then.This brief exchange benefited both of them.
  • Frequent places like the market,parks,a club,or your place of worship.
  • See people eye to eye.
  • Be the first to greet them-with a smile of course. 
  • Make it a point to add a bit of small talk when you greet someone.It will convey your conviviality.
  • Connecting with kindred individuals opens up an evolutionary chapter in the arena of relationships.If you are a writer you will have much to talk about with another writer.You won't even have to strain to keep a dialogue going.Similarly with other interests.Look for probable contacts in the areas which interest you.Such relationships are abiding as well as fruitful.
  • Even if your work consumes most of your waking hours save enough time to interact with your family when you return home.
  • Be aware of your surroundings and participate in community affairs. 
Mental health experts affirm that although close,positive relationships are necessary for our general well being,the need for social connectivity varies in different individuals.Some are lonesome by nature and quite happy in their own company.By and large,some basic connections are essential for all to live and perform but even then, relationships are desirable only if they are positive.It is better to be alone rather than in a toxic relationship.

Social connectivity boosts our mental health but mental or emotional problems make it difficult to connect with others.Conscious efforts have to be made to check the impulse to isolate oneself.Even close associates or the loved ones should make it their concern to draw them out,because isolation will further damage their mental health.

Happy,joyous relationships do not fall in the lap,they have to be worked upon.If you want more inclusion,spend quality time with the people in your ambit.Take interest in their lives and listen to what they have to say.Conversely,voice your thoughts;appreciate the good you see in others.Help out and be helped in return.This give and take strengthens bonds and makes life livable.

For more about the benefits of relationships read this post.


  1. Very true. Nice points, Induji.
    Loneliness can lead to depression.
    'Prevention is better than the cure.'

  2. So the points you discussed here related to loneliness are very much practical and loved the ways you mentioned to overcome it.
    Anything too much is not good... we all should find out our ways to connect with people.

    1. Yes we should find ways to connect with others.Sometimes we feel lonely and yet do not do anything about it.But it harms our health and happiness,that is why I wrote this post.

  3. Yes loneliness is a problem in this digital age. We are becoming nuclear in family. Spend more time on computers, phones, or watching TV. We don't talk to our neighbours. So we feel lonely at times of need. Yes by sharing happiness and sorrow one may be able to unburden his self. But we have also seen talking too much to seemingly friendly people is not always beneficial. Some may take advantage. One is not necessary a lonely number if one has the strength to be alone. But many of us lack the courage and inclination. For us chatting, with people may be helpful.

    1. I have seen you always pay deep attention to every post and come out with untouched nuances.Thank you Abhijit.

      I understand what you mean.Many people are so duplicitous that seeing them one is bound to restrain oneself from being too friendly.Very often it leads to unsavory outcomes.But just keeping it to 'HI and bye' and how are you doing is often enough to dispel gloom.

  4. In this digital era, I feel everyone is busy and dont't want to spend time with others. Nice post to overcome loneliness.

    1. Yes everyone is busy but a time comes when one yearns for a human touch.


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