Innocence---Trampled, An Unfinished Story.

This happened in 1968.I had been appointed as Case Worker at Children's Home for Girls run by the Directorate of Social Welfare at Tihar Jail campus Delhi, after I passed out from Delhi School Of Social Work.As the name connotes,it housed girls in need of shelter.

There must have been innumerable girls over there but I can recollect only one.Let me call her Komal (delicate),for she was daintiness personified.What drew my attention to her was her innocent face,body structure and also her nature.A fair pretty round face which still comes to my mind.She was barely 13-14 yrs of age,very quiet and reserved.I did not see her mingling with other girls.But i was puzzled by her physique--she was plump in an odd way.I thought perhaps her puppy fat was still lingering on and dismissed the matter.

After a few days i was asked to take Komal to a hospital for her check-up.I took out her case file to familiarize myself with her problem and what I read there took my breath away.She belonged to another city.There she had a friend whose father ran a shop in front of their home.One day she went to their house and asked the fellow if her friend was home.He confirmed she was and asked her to go in.The poor mite did not suspect what awaited her.As she went in that scoundrel closed the shop and went in.Obviously no one was home.You can guess what followed.

After this fiendish act he threatened her to keep quiet or else he would kill her family.The poor thing kept quiet.She had barely taken the first step on the journey from childhood to woman-hood.For a few months her mother had no cause to suspect that anything was amiss and when the whole thing tumbled out it was too late for an abortion.So she was sent to this Home for her delivery.

Soon after our visit to the hospital I got an offer from AIIMS and left that job--I was there for only a few weeks in fact but Komal darts into my thoughts time and again.I wonder how her delivery went,what happened to the baby and most importantly--what became of Komal.Did she live a normal carefree life like others of her age?Has she been able to bury the past?She must be above sixty yrs today-how has her life shaped up?Where is her baby,what became of it?Does she think of it sometimes?I am sure it must have been admitted to an orphanage--living a motherless,homeless life for no fault of it's own.

These crimes have became rampant today.In those days child sexual abuse ,if it existed-as it must have done-was not talked of publicly.Today this danger looms large in every parent's mind.The least we can do is to establish a healthy relationship with our children so that they confide in us and ask for our guidance whenever they feel the need.When children enter the teens they begin to view parents' concern as an invasion of their privacy so that it becomes difficult to strike a balance between safeguarding them and allowing them freedom at the same time.Parents tread on thin ice since they would not like to be dismissed as helicopter parents.It is indeed a very challenging task!

Take a look at this site too.

Image courtesy google.

Mantras For Instant Tranquillity

Have you ever felt like gnashing your teeth and ticking off someone,all the while knowing that it will be disastrous to do so?Or felt like pulping the frenemy who showed you down in a meeting?Perhaps the thought of taking 'sanyas' crossed your mind when the fruit of your sweat and tears was dumped like trash?Or decided that there was no charm left in life after a personal tragedy suddenly confronted you? 

It is definitely hard to retain your calm in the face of adverse happenings when a whole smorgasbord of extreme emotions are knocking at your door to topple your equilibrium.More than the unwelcome event,it is unhealthy,instinctual reactions which create havoc because they deflect your focus from corrective actions to just letting off steam and showing them (whoever the villains of the piece may be!).If only you keep cool and think rationally, collateral damage can be easily avoided.Over the years i have collected a glossary of certain assuaging one-liners which allow me to cool down without creating a ruckus.Let me share them with you:---

A dear person has an annoying habit--He is like that only!
Someone is rude or hostile--Let it be!
Despite best efforts,you fail--Better luck next time!
A demanding life situation--Oh well,it can't be helped!
A major setback--It happens!
A disease or handicap--Am I someone special!
A personal tragedy--Is it the end of the world?No,a lot remains!
Break-up with a soul mate--Perhaps it is for the better !
A downturn in life--Stars shine only in the dark!
Suggested by Rio De La--Who cares?

Personally speaking whenever I am tempted to look up at the sky and ask 'Why me?' I tell myself 'Why not me ?'. I am sure you too must have your own pet mantras.How about sharing them with me?

Image courtesy google.

Personalities--5 : The Super Smart Genius

Some time back a young couple and their three year old kid came to live in my neighborhood.From the very first day the girl--call her Ria--impressed me immensely.She was smart and intelligent--but that is no rarity (even i am,yes seriously!).What won me over was her friendly outgoing nature.Despite the obvious age gap she befriended me immediately.Was I impressed--I who take a decade to strike up a friendship!I secretly decided to learn some tricks from her.Let me take you on a trip down my memory lane to share those tricks in case you too,need to burnish your friend-making skills.I am sure you will come out enriched.

First and foremost-come to first name terms as soon as possible.If the other person is much older than you then choose between aunty,dadi (granny),or nani(granny again)--whatever catches your fancy.I was aunty to Ria and dadi to the kiddo.You must try this mantra-it guarantees instant success.

That done,she invited me to her home to show how she had done up the house.She asked my advice and came up with many family details--even secrets (well,I am like that only,everybody confides in me ).

Next day she came up to sit and chat with me as if she liked nothing better than interacting with an old lady.She was never tongue-tied or short of things to say.This became a daily routine.She would saunter into the rooms and admire my taste.

Next on agenda--'come aunty see what I made for lunch today.Taste this,I make it like this etc etc'.Then a dish of something prepared by her arrives at my door.Now I too am obliged to flaunt my non-existent culinary skills.What to do?Such a sweet girl--I cannot disappoint her.

In between all this Rup (the kid) climbs up the stairs and asks me"Dadi can I come over?"I am floored,reminded of my own grandchildren.I welcome him with open arms and try to entertain him.This becomes a daily routine.Rup,all freshly bathed,comes over because as Ria told me,he has taken to us like his own grand parents whom he misses sorely.So we both-I and my better half-- gear up to entertain Rup,skipping our daily routines while she attends to her household chores.No,she does not have a job outside her home.

Then Rup joins a play school.Every day before taking him there Ria brings him over to say 'Bye' to us.How endearing and thoughtful of her!These two have infused a lot of cheer into our dull routine.Upon coming back from play school Rup again comes up to share with us all that he did in school.

This goes on for many days till we begin to feel tired and used.So one day we are forced to turn him back.Ria as I said before,is extremely smart.She shifts her focus upon another neighbor who had earlier not merited a single glance from her.Rup is introduced to them and he goes there to play with their children who are considerably older than him.He has found three new sisters!

Rup is a sweet kid and truly fond of us as we are of him--although entertaining him for long hours does wear us down.Whenever he sees us sitting out he wants to come over but he is yanked away.We also miss the daily'Good Morning aunty' and Good Morning uncle',but what to do;our popularity has dwindled to it's nadir.It finally dawns on us that it was not our pristine goodness which had drawn Ria to us!!!!

So tell me,how do you like these tricks and skills ?