The Good Old Days

Is there any specific age at which one begins to reminisce about the good old days?I don't know.I only know that I often dive into the good old days.Not that I have any complaints about my life today.But there are certain phases of life which appear to me to have been just perfect-full of joy de vivre.

We all have good and bad stretches in life.When we are dissatisfied with a certain component of our lives we slip back into an era which we believe was idyllic in every way.But is it really possible?Can life ever be so utopian as to not have a single jarring note?If we dig deeper we will realize that those days too had their own pin-pricks and rifts but we skim over those unpleasant episodes.

Why do we do it?A very strong reason is that some of the people in those memories now exist only in our memories.They have been gone long.Like I said in Something Breaks, we just love to relive the moments we had with them.The memories of our family life,old homes or dear friends were so enriching that they have strong connections with our mind and whenever we look back;maybe due to ennui or lethargy,we just bask in the cool breeze of those memories.

Yes,there must have been squabbles and fights too,but with hindsight we realize that whatever the unpleasantness,we too were not entirely blameless and therefore we forget the ugliness and appreciate the good times.

It is easy to go into a nostalgic trance but this can also be a way of disassociating from the present and it's demands.So it is better to stir ourselves and come back to the present.If we give it all we have,some day we will recall these days also as the'Good Old Days'.

If You Have Anxiety,Don't Think About This.....

When you have anxiety it is natural to think about your self and how this scourge has changed your personality,moods,thought processes and behavior.It has curtailed many of your activities too.You are naturally aggrieved by these changes.Your self image has dipped and you shy from facing people.You have become reclusive and inactive.Since you don't feel like going out or doing anything,you merely sit and think,and these thoughts are naturally very depressive.The more you ruminate the more lethargic you become,and the more lethargic you are the sorrier you feel for yourself.Thus a vicious cycle is established.

In order to feel better once again,the first requirement is to stop thinking about yourself.But what to think? The mind cannot be stopped from thinking.What you can do is to think of those things which make you feel,if not better,then at least not worse.Open some new channels for it to roam and discover.

One way is to go out and relax in the lap of nature.The greenery all round and the chirrups of birds are incredibly calming.Have you noticed,every tree or bush has a different color,shape,texture or smell?Look at the flowers,inhale their scent,feel their softness.What a wonderful variety!

Now pay attention to the bird calls.Try to trace a call to it's owner.You will soon be able to identify a bird from it's call. Isn't all this very engaging?

And the children-are they playing and screaming near you?Watch their antics.Even a small kid clearly denotes whether it is going to be a leader or a follower;whether it is amiable or aggressive.

And what about the adults?You may see people of various ages around you.Some may have aged well and some others not so well.Some may be accompanied by friends and some others may appear lonesome.An aged person might be walking determinedly,while another may just have sunk down on a seat soon after reaching the park.What does this signify?That everybody has some problem or the other.You are not the only one.

But you can obviously not sit in a park the whole day.So how to ward off those negative thoughts when you are at home or in the office?Look around you carefully.What is it which needs organizing?How can you declutter your work place or spruce up your wardrobe?If there is anything which you have been postponing since long,take it up now.Expending energy doing random jobs subdues anxiety and makes you feel more in control.

You might be harried at present,but one reason why you are feeling so low is,because you are focusing only on the gnawing aspects of your life.Change your perspective.Think of those who have always-well almost always-stood by you.Recall happy memories,look at the bigger picture.Count your blessings.You have to accept the thorns with the roses and learn how to deal with them.Self pity is not the way to do it.Shift your gaze from the thorns to the roses.You will feel good.

Five Habits Which #CauseUnhappiness

We all want to be happy.No one in his right mind would choose unhappiness.Yet we could be harboring habits which make us unhappy.Habits which have become a way of life,of dealing with or reacting to people and circumstances.These habits govern our behavior, shape our perceptions and generate corresponding emotions.

Delving into the past

This is easily the most potent cause of unhappiness.If your past life was much happier than it is today and you are constantly yearning for the days gone by,how can you ever find peace?On the other hand if it was traumatic then too,always going back to those dreadful times will divert you from appreciating and enjoying the gladdening features of your life today.Similarly,dwelling on your past blunders or misdeeds will detract from the happiness which could have been yours if only you had consigned your past to the past.

 Worrying about the future

If ruminating about the past is harmful,worrying about the future unleashes fears and apprehensions--all mere conjectures,or the work of an overactive imagination.Your child is leaving home for higher studies abroad and you begin to speculate if he will successfully counter unhealthy trends and temptations he might be exposed to.Why not have faith in your own upbringing and the child's sagacity to overcome evil influences?Worries and apprehensions do not have the power to change future,they only causes trepidation.Don't anticipate problems,solve with them when they really appear.

Breaking relationships over trifles
Strong relationships can be a mighty source of joy and support.If you are very sensitive or quick to anger,and break off with people whenever you feel wronged or hurt,you are likely to feel lonely and isolated after the fervor has dissipated.Therefore don't be hasty in breaking relationships.Understand people,mingle with them,care for them,forget minor squabbles;and you will be happier.

 Overthinking
Overthinking about everything said and done by you or someone else,or even about daily events;causes anxiety,restlessness and fatigue.It will make you suspect others' motives,intentions and allegiance.Such skepticism destroys confidence and peace of mind.Instead of spending so much time in analyzing every word and deed,get into action,address the issues which confront you and take charge of your life.This will put a brake on overthinking and lessen your anxiety too.

#Negativeselftalk and a defeatist attitude
Negative self-talk is an insidious enemy of happiness.It usurps confidence and discourages you from going forward and proving yourself.It might even blame you for things which were not your fault.A defeatist attitude is it's natural offspring.These two will not allow you to advance and find happiness.You will have to silence this inner critic if you want to be happy.

You can read more about it at this post.

We are creatures of habit and it is difficult to change habits which have become instinctive reactions.But it is our happiness which is at stake here.We cannot avoid the unhappiness which arises from external factors but we can delete the sadness which is the result of our own habits.Quite a lot of our happiness is in our own hands.