Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fighting # Failure

Urban society today lays a lot of emphasis on success.A well-to do person who is successful in his vocation is recognized as the perfect role model--one worthy of respect & admiration.And what are the indications of success?Why,a huge bank balance,a swanky car,a designer home in an exclusive locality,membership of upscale clubs----ah well,you get my point.!!Some are truly successful in the above sense.They are the privileged children of lady luck;some others stand at the other end of the spectrum-they struggle hard to make both ends meet.In between these two extremes are many levels.A laborer's son will consider himself prosperous if he earns enough to feed his family & save a little bit for a rainy day while a business tycoon's offspring will curse himself for being a failure if he cannot rise above the post of a manager.

This shows that a person's perception of his performance  in relation to his milieu,to a certain extent decides whether he will consider himself a success & be happy or deride himself for being a failure.Of course the highly materialistic yardstick of sucess also has a bearing upon how good or bad he feels about himself  in relation to his status.If this yardstick declares him to be a non entity then he is likely to feel inferior & insecure;irrespective of how worthy he is as a human being.

As a result each person is under pressure to perform-even beyond his capacity or aptitude. What happens to a person who is not cut out to be a high achiever? On one hand someone at least in his inner circle is likely to insinuate that he is not smart enough,or does not work hard enough to achieve success;while on the other,he himself could bow down under pressure & succumb to feelings of hopelessness.A feeling of inferiority & worthlessness could make matters worse.

Therefore it is time we gave serious thought to this matter--what is success & who should be labelled a failure.Failure could relate to any one of life's various aspects. Mostly it is a break-up in close ties,a set-back in education,career or business;and finally,the inability to get respect & recognition from others,which could brand someone as a failure.This can be very injurious for that person's mental health & morale.Therefore it is essential for him to safeguard against such a situation & replenish his self confidence once again. The insights given below will certainly help such a person to rethink his strategy &find success.

(1)Even if you have failed a couple of times or more,it does not mean that you shall be a loser all your life. Provided you don't lose heart-these very failures will tell you what to avoid in order to succeed. Learn from your failures,listen to constructive criticism & don't repeat your mistakes.

(2)Failure does not mean that you are not good enough or you don't have the wherewithal to succeed. We all function much below our optimum potential.According to Einstein an average person uses only 20% of his brain. So give it all you have &success will be yours.Start with an optimistic mind-set so that your hormones too,energize your efforts.A defeatist attitude  constricts your vision & dampens the spirit.It will not permit you to  put in your best & then you are likely to assert that "See, i cannot accomplish anything".It is a well-known fact that we get what we believe in.Believe in yourself & you will surprise yourself.

(3)When a person is dejected about his failures it is not only his own incompetence that is the cause of his sorrow. He sees successful people around him & concludes that they are cleverer,smarter or more intelligent than him. He forgets that he is viewing them at this stage of their life when they have arrived. Who knows how long they struggled, how many obstacles they had to overcome & how many setbacks they had to face , before they arrived at this juncture ? Not only this ,he also very conveniently fails to recognize those who are not so successful. Very unreasonably he gives himself the lowest marks.

(4) There is another sphere in which he holds himself to be at the lowest rung of the ladder. All others according to him have better luck than him. He genuinely feels that he alone has been saddled with umpteen inadequacies & problems , while everyone else is much better placed than him. This again is a fallacy which stems from a very subjective view-point. Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. Likewise most people are unaware of the tragedies in others' lives.If only we could peep into the lives of those we admire,whom we recognize as being smarter & high achievers;  who knows how many ghosts we may find in their cupboards!!!

(5) Therefore be more realistic & practical. Setbacks &problems will come. One has to learn to take them in one's stride. Do not set very high standards for yourself initially.Start by aiming at small targets.When you have gained confidence by achieving them,go for bigger ones. By and by increase the bar. Striving for betterment & not being daunted by obstacles should be one's motto. But remember -not everyone can be at the top.If you look at those who are above you,you will only be disheartened.Compete only with your own past performance.

(6) Setting targets & striving to reach them can be very stressful at times. Try to savour the small pleasures of life. Be near to & connect with your loved ones. Spend quality time with them. In addition,take out time to be with yourself--not to ruminate about your failures--but to enjoy a past-time or a hobby that you enjoy. These activities will lighten the burden of your sorrow& give satisfaction.When you achieve a target give yourself a treat-just as you would, to a favorite niece.

(7) Taking help &support from your family & friends is fine & also advisable. But other than them, coming to a wider circle, do not expect any concessions or approbation from those around you. This is an era of cut-throat competition. People have their hands full. If you expect too much from them you are likely to be disappointed.

(8) A person who feels inadequate or inferior due to his failures often imagines that people look at him with pity or scorn. This is  far from truth. As i said earlier people have hectic schedules. They don't have much time for others. Besides, public memory is very short. So do not be diffident or self-conscious. Go all out for your goal once again. You owe it to yourself & also to those who care for you ,look up to you & are dependent upon you.

 If you are drained of energy & stamina, this is probably due to your pessimism arising from your past failures.Any steps taken in such a frame of mind will give only half-hearted results.You have to go full throttle in order to be successful.Therefore get a physical check-up done & adopt a healthy lifestyle to insure you are fighting fit.Inculcate a hopeful & positive attitude & then see your efforts bearing fruit.

 Lastly there are many facets to a life. Widen your outlook to remember the ones that are satisfactory.Practice gratitude & contentment. It's a mixed deal that we all get &the positive aspects should always be uppermost in our minds.Set realistic targets for yourself minds.Nobody is a total failure & a failure is never final.What is more--public perception of your worth is only that ;it does not define who you are.

Pic courtesy google.


  1. Thanks for addressing a very relevant issue facing all segments of society. I may sound old fashioned here, but I know I am not being conservative, but the solution to many of these feelings is to develop a healthy self esteem and self image based on objective realism, faith, compassion for self and others and contentment. I know many of these are considered shortcomings by the modern school of thought, but time will tell how far down the wrong path we will need to travel before we know it is time to turn back.

  2. I fully endorse your thought about objective realism....most of us today want to straddle the top of the ladder ,without considering own caliber & circumstances..this leads to low self esteem,& then a down-slide...mediocrity is not so bad...there is little room at the top....
    look what u have done--started me on a sermon again...
    No u r not conservative, only balanced & so lucid..thanx for stopping by.

  3. Welcome to jeeteraho & thanx for your comment.

  4. i visited this page 3 times but couldn't complete the post because of my stupid internet connection :D

    ur posts r always so enlightening and this one is no exception; it gives a whole new perspective to how we look at things. brilliant :)


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