Thursday, January 13, 2011

Fighting # Failure

Updated on 23rd June 2017

Urban society today lays a lot of emphasis on success.A well-to do person who is successful in his vocation is recognized as the perfect role model--one worthy of respect & admiration.And what are the indications of success?Why,a huge bank balance,a swanky car,a designer home in an exclusive locality,membership of upscale clubs----ah well,you get my point.!!Some are truly successful in the above sense.They are the privileged children of lady luck;some others stand at the other end of the spectrum-they struggle hard to make both ends meet.

In between these two extremes are many strata.A laborer's son will consider himself prosperous if he earns enough to feed his family & save a little bit for a rainy day while a business tycoon's offspring will curse himself for being a failure if he cannot rise above the post of a manager.A person's achievements in the context of his milieu,to a certain extent decide whether he will consider himself a success & be happy or deride himself for being a failure.

But in these days of high connectivity the aspirations of so many have rocketed sky high and everyone is under pressure to perform beyond his capacity or aptitude.What happens to a person who has failed?A feeling of inferiority and worthlessness engulfs many such persons.No wonder emotional problems and mental disorders are on the rise.In order to avert this possibility the following facts should be kept in mind :--

(1)Even if you have failed a couple of times or more,it does not mean that you shall be a loser all your life. Provided you don't lose heart-these very failures will tell you what to avoid in order to succeed next time. Learn from your failures,listen to constructive criticism & don't repeat your mistakes.

(2)Failure does not mean that you are not good enough or you don't have the wherewithal to succeed. We all function much below our optimum potential.According to Einstein an average person uses only 20% of his brain. So give it all you have and success will be yours.Start with an optimistic mind-set so that your hormones too,energize your efforts.A defeatist attitude  constricts vision and dampens the spirit.

(3)When a person rues his failures, it is not only his own incompetence that is the cause of his sorrow. He sees successful people around him and concludes that they are cleverer,smarter or more intelligent than him. He forgets that he is viewing them at this stage of their life when they have arrived. Who knows how long they struggled, how many obstacles they overcame and how many setbacks they had to face, before they arrived at this spot? Not only this ,he also closes his eyes on those who are not so successful.Very unreasonably he gives himself the lowest marks.

(4)A person who is aggrieved because of his failures often curses his luck for having been saddled with umpteen inadequacies and problems.He thinks everyone else is much better placed than him.This fallacy stems from a very subjective view-point. Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. 

(5) If you want to get out of your trough be more realistic and practical. Setbacks and problems will come.One has to take them in one's stride. Do not set very high standards for yourself initially.Start by aiming at small targets.When you have gained confidence by achieving them,go for bigger ones. By and by increase the bar. Striving for betterment & not being daunted by obstacles should be the motto. But remember -not everyone can be at the top.If you look at those who are above you,you will always be disheartened.Compete only with your own past performance.

(6) Setting targets & striving to reach them can be very stressful at times. Try to savour the small pleasures of life. Be near to,and connect with your loved ones. Spend quality time with them.Also,take out time to be with yourself--not to ruminate about your failures--but to enjoy a pastime or a hobby which you enjoy. This will decrease your stress.When you achieve a target,give yourself a treat-just as you would  to a favorite kin or friend.

(7) Take help from a specialist and also upgrade your skill-set if necessary.

(8) A person who feels inadequate or inferior due to his failures often worries about his public image.But people have hectic schedules and they don't have much time for others. Besides, public memory is very short. So do not be diffident or self-conscious. Go all out for your goal once again. You owe it to yourself and also to those who care for you ,look up to you and are dependent upon you. 

(9)Adopt a healthy lifestyle and steer clear of  substance abuse.

(10)Lastly there are many facets to a life.Focus upon those which are satisfactory.Be grateful for all that you hold dear.We all get a mixed deal.Nobody is a total failure.The qualities which you possess might be absent in the celebrities you admire.A failure is never final,it does not define who you are.

Pic courtesy google.


  1. Thanks for addressing a very relevant issue facing all segments of society. I may sound old fashioned here, but I know I am not being conservative, but the solution to many of these feelings is to develop a healthy self esteem and self image based on objective realism, faith, compassion for self and others and contentment. I know many of these are considered shortcomings by the modern school of thought, but time will tell how far down the wrong path we will need to travel before we know it is time to turn back.

  2. I fully endorse your thought about objective realism....most of us today want to straddle the top of the ladder ,without considering own caliber & circumstances..this leads to low self esteem,& then a down-slide...mediocrity is not so bad...there is little room at the top....
    look what u have done--started me on a sermon again...
    No u r not conservative, only balanced & so lucid..thanx for stopping by.

  3. Welcome to jeeteraho & thanx for your comment.

  4. i visited this page 3 times but couldn't complete the post because of my stupid internet connection :D

    ur posts r always so enlightening and this one is no exception; it gives a whole new perspective to how we look at things. brilliant :)


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