LOOKING FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE ?

Updated on 13-9-18
A cursory survey of all successful people will reveal that they had one quality in common--self-confidence.This asset can multiply your chances of success and it's lack will prevent you from realizing your full potential.Self-confidence not only facilitates success,it also decides how others view you.The thoughts & actions of a confident person always carry an element of credibility,which boosts his image & status. 

A person's self confidence stems from his self esteem.Self esteem itself depends on how those around you judge you & how successful you have been in your ventures so far.Ironically,while low self esteem impedes success,failure depletes it further.It is a vicious circle.The good news is that this chain can be broken.You need to make systematic efforts in order to do this.Here is some help:--

Make an inventory of your positive traits. It is not essential that you be an Adonis or a  Venus. Perhaps you have a good height, or a proportionate body, or a sweet voice.Or you may be good at sports,music,computers or personal relationships. Maybe you have a sharp mind & the ability to judge people.Are you sympathetic,courteous,cooperative and gentle?The list could go on and on.Just put down your positive attributes on a paper & you will see that you are not such a dud after all.While you are at it;also recapitulate all your achievements to date.A person lacking self confidence usually brushes his feats under the carpet;labeling them as chance happenings. Focus on them whenever you feel unsure of yourself.

Now think seriously-what has been holding you back till now?Go and look at yourself in the mirror right now.Do you carry yourself erect?Can you meet people in the eye,or are you always trying to avoid the lime-light and merge into the background?Is your speech clear and lucid?Are you self-evasive and apologetic in your comments?The answers to these questions will tell you where improvement is most needed.

Now that your body-language has been taken care of;It is time to address your self-talk.It is essential to remember that out of the many conversations that we initiate, those that are addressed to ourselves are the most crucial.They decide whether we will be confident or limp, achievers or losers.Desist from injurious self-talk.Do not undermine your skills,talents and achievements.

Now sit down and think,what is it which you always wanted to do but did not have the courage to try? I am not talking of gigantic ambitions here, but an average down to earth dream. Let us say you always wanted to play the drums but felt shy in expressing your desire to anyone. O.K!The time has come now to take action. There must be some musician or a hobby class or a musical society in your city. If not, then look up the papers or advertise for one. Find a teacher and go attend the classes. Before you know it you will be so involved in this activity that you will forget you ever thought yourself incapable of learning it. You will make new friends and this too will boost your morale. No longer will you be able to say honestly -even to yourself- that you are good for nothing.Just track some basic unfulfilled desires and work on them.

When one target has been achieved go for the second one. Plan out your schedule, set out a dead-line and then start. Sit down ,think hard and take your own decisions. Don't run here & there asking for advice. Ignore if someone gives you unasked advice.Some people have this habit of throwing a spanner in the works. Avoid them. Use your own resources as far as possible. A target accomplished totally on your own steam will be more satisfying.

Show yourself the same consideration that you show to others--thump your back,congratulate your self and celebrate your success. Aren't you happy that you have achieved two targets on your own? Continue in the same vein and you will feel a surge of confidence like never before.

 After you have attained 2,3,4, such targets you are ready for bigger game. Earlier you must have been very cautious and circumspect in your approach because you were not sure of yourself. But the time has come now to open up a bit ,to take calculated risks and to venture into new terrains. Success in a tough enterprise will give a never-before boost to your feelings of self-worth.

 But be prepared for setbacks too.When you try something new and difficult there are even chances of it going wrong.Take it as a lesson for the future.Obstacles or setbacks should make you better not bitter. Nobody succeeds every time . Remember YOU ARE THE SAME PERSON IN FAILURE AS YOU WERE IN SUCCESS. So the question of slumping back after a failure does not arise. People don't fail; they just quit.

Make sure that your ventures are in accordance with your principles & values because if you do anything against your grain it is sure to nibble at your confidence.Never go against your own value system.

As you advance on the path of self-improvement take care of your appearance. Discard old,worn-out,shabby clothes and get yourself a new image. Join a smart club,learn some new skills,keep up with the times and make new friends. Let your achievements be known in a decent,non-offensive manner,in case people did not notice.It would be a good idea to let them know that you are no longer the self-effacing person you used to be. Here's wishing you all the best!

If you want more tips to augment your self worth and improve yourself here are two links :--

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2011/12/perfect-personality.html

http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2013/12/raise-your-self-esteem-in-leven-easy.html