Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Being Like #Water


Water is a life-giver,we all know,but it can also be a life-changer,a guru,to inspire us when we,or those connected to us come to a rough patch. 

The most obvious and universally appreciated function of water is that it not only quenches our thirst or soothes tired aching bodies through a bath but also propagates countless kinds of vegetation to satiate our hunger.Yes,we all know that, but how many of us can similarly extend succor and relief to tired beings near us who may be facing a tough situation in life?

An admirable quality of water is that it adapts beautifully to any given situation.Pour sea water in a cup and it is now a cup of water--quietly taking the shape of it's container.Does anybody hear it remonstrate that it had such a grand origin and it shall not stay put in a measly cup;or whine and rant about it's degradation?By contrast we humans always have something to crib about.

Now look at it's perspicacity.Put it in a tight container,if there is a tiny hole in it, water will find it's way out--much faster than a human does when he is thrown into a tight spot.

When water comes across a boulder it cannot cross over,it gently goes around it--a valuable lesson for us again.Certain obstacles cannot be surmounted;it is best to circumvent them and learn to LIVE with them.

What happens when water is thrown into a ditch?This is a situation where it cannot find a way out--but it does.It simply elevates itself,goes up in the form of vapor and comes down again in the shape of blessed,beneficial rain.Given sufficient time,even dirty,disease-ridden water will transform itself into pure unadulterated rain water.How many of us can evolve and refine ourselves,post a serious lapse or misconduct?

Another commendable quality of water is it's tendency to move on,go forward.It does not go back but always on and on,till it reaches the sea,it's final resting place.Emulating water in this aspect is difficult for many of us because sometimes we waste a lot of time and energy ruminating about the past or obsessing about an unpalatable event which we cannot get out of our mind.Go with the flow.Do not fight incontrovertible changes.Forgive,accept and move on,is what water teaches us.

Water maintains it's level.We too can do this by being equanimous in all weathers-avoiding peaks of emotions-- whether good or bad.

Tiny trickles of water come together to form a stream and then a mighty river.They combine,join together and make a powerful,unified whole.If we could put aside our egos to connect and collaborate we too could find a never before strength.

Water is something we touch and utilize every day.If only we paid attention to it's unique qualities and took inspiration from it to reorganize our life we would find greater fulfillment and satisfaction.Do you agree?Tell me if I have missed something.

Image courtesy google.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Apply The Brakes ; Take a Break.

It is a paradox indeed that despite the many time-saving devices which we use,our lives today are busier than ever ; and despite the umpteen labor-saving gadgets at our disposal,we are pooped out by the end of the day.Our physical and mental health is tottering under heavy demands and as a result we often find ourselves in the clutches of stress,anxiety and depression.There is a dire need to adopt some relaxation techniques in order to replenish our energy--tiny diversions which break the monotony,uplift our spirits and energize us to finish the day's toil comfortably.


* A brief nap or a shut-eye is what we all crave in the midst of a grueling day but if you do this in the middle of an important meeting you could become talk of the town ;) .

* Deep breathing is something you can do on the sly,even if there  are people around you.Stress increases the heart rate and blood pressure while deep breathing helps them to come down to normal.A nervous system which was on the edge,stabilizes and helps you to relax.

*Try Visualization if you are desk-bound and need some change. Close your eyes and transport yourself to a place which  captivated you with it's beauty.If it was a garden then visualize yourself sitting on a lush green lawn amid beautiful bright flowers emitting heady scents.Try to recall all the details of that scene.In no time at all you will forget your worries and feel much better.

*If you are not good at imagining scenes then make use of Mindfulness-the latest buzzword  in relaxation techniques.Just gaze at the various objects around you minutely,as if you are seeing them for the first time--go into the details.For example,take that glass of water you are drinking.Savor it fully.Appreciate it's taste,enjoy it's cooling effect,take your mind back to the place it must have come from.These idle thoughts will divert your mind from your work-load for some moments and then you will return to it refreshed and energized.You can play this game with anything around you.

* You must have heard that sitting is the new smoking.Whenever you feel that you need a break get up,walk over to a colleague's table,exchange small talk with him and come back refreshed :) .

*Feeling tired?Drink a glass of water.It has an amazing rejuvenating effect. 

* Or maybe you need some nourishment.Have a cup of tea or any other drink you fancy.It is a good idea to keep a pack of almonds,walnuts or biscuits in your drawer ;nibble at them as you resume your grind :( .

*Another way of taking a break is to organize your work station.Believe me it is not another spell of drudgery.As you sort out the essentials from the disposables,you will feel less overburdened and more in control.A dishevelled work place is not only counter-productive but also tiring and irritating.

At the end of the day it is for the person to decide which relaxation technique is feasible and which one works best for him;but it is essential to give some sort of respite to your tired body and mind in order to avoid a burnout.



Video and image courtesy google 

Friday, September 12, 2014

Adolescent Turmoil and Suicide--a True Story---Part Three.

This is the concluding part.If you want to start at the beginning please go here.

As I had guessed,Jagan came next time and confessed that he had been unable to get his gf out of his system.They communicated through common friends and she urged him to wait for her.He requested me to give him some practical suggestions to help him forget her.The poor boy was trying but his hormones were getting the better of him.He also wanted a medicine to calm his mind.I sent him to a homeopath who claimed that he could ease this sort of nervous tension.

Regarding the scene at home,he disclosed that his father did not scold him directly but he took out his anger on his mother and sister.This too perturbed Jagan.

We had two sessions in the same vein and then his board exams arrived. Jagan did not contact me after that.I tried to follow up a number of times but his father had sold off his mobile,so I was completely in dark as to what was happening in his life.

Then one fine day after eleven months,Jagan arrived with a (male) friend in tow.He had failed the last board exams in Maths and Chemistry.Now again his exams were only a month away.He had broken off with his gf.He told me that he had prepared hard enough to get 60--70 % but his mother nagged him relentlessly.It culminated in long fights wherein he would pull his hair,bang his head and so on.When the news reached his father he would explode 'I will burn this house,all of us will die.'Jagan was at his wits' end.Then he said something which alarmed me--that he felt like jumping into Chambal river.

As his parents had been incommunicado since long, I made a home visit the same day.I told his mother that Jagan was trying but her persecution was in fact spoiling his chances and giving him a lot of stress.I requested her to just let him study undisturbed.She acquiesced.

Soon after this Jagan's board exams followed and he stopped coming to Sahyog.I rang up his father after about five months,when the results had been announced.He was very happy with Jagan's result.About other issues,he said that there had been a small problem but he had resolved it.Obviously this was the end of our association.

Today that young immature boy must be 28 yrs old.I wonder if he has found his feet,what he is doing and if they form a harmonious family today.I certainly hope that he has got over his suicidal tendencies.

Often when a youngster is brought to me for behavior problems I find that the parents too,need extensive counseling.It is not lack of education alone which leads to faulty parenting.The parents might be facing other stressful situations or they could be too abrasive and aggressive by nature.But it is the child who bears the brunt.Whatever his mistakes,he should never be made to feel that he is not loved.