Tuesday, August 25, 2015

How to Decrease The # Tensions in your life

Mental health is very important.I will go so far as to say that it is more important than physical health because even a physical disease is tolerated better if you are otherwise content and well adjusted.

However,we all know how difficult it is to stay cool and balanced in these stressful times.There is no dearth of challenges,obstacles,disappointments and frustrations.But the onus to find peace rests totally upon us.We cannot do away with the external stressors but we can definitely modify our own behavior in such a way that fewer tensions rankle us.In order to do this:

*Tone down your expectations,from life as well as      people.
*Do not swim against the current.
*Ease up on perfectionism.
*Stop comparing yourself with others.
*Stop people pleasing.
*Don't be oversensitive.
*Let bygones be bygones.
*Infuse humor in tough situations.
*Always focus on the positives,even when the scene is drab.
*Never relinquish faith and hope.

It is not possible to change the world.Unforeseen events frazzle us.Sometimes we even fail to control the outcome of our own actions.By adopting a positive attitude and clearing the cobwebs in our mind,we can reduce our tensions.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

A simple # Cure for Anxiety--# Journaling

A patient of anxiety is often advised to keep a journal but few take it up because it does not come naturally to many,and also because the benefits of keeping a journal are not enunciated in detail.But keeping a diary is very effective in curing anxiety and Hypochondria.It is a therapy which does not cost money and has no side effects too.I myself have seen the benefits accruing from journaling and would like to share them with you.

For best results,keep a separate diary for your mental health concerns and enter the details at the end of the day.These are the facts which should be entered daily:--

  1. A list of the anxious thoughts experienced during the day.
  2. The physical symptoms which troubled you.
  3. The time when distress was at it's peak.
  4. The possible triggers.
  5. What did you do to get rid of the stressors?
  6. What did you do to feel better?
  7. Did you feel better or worse than yesterday?

After a week of starting, review the past entries and evaluate them on the following grounds:--
  1. Are your fears decreasing or increasing?
  2. What about the physical complaints?Were they the same all through the week or did they keep shifting?
  3. Can you see a pattern in your worries?What usually triggers them?
  4. Were you able to eliminate those triggers?
  5. Which steps did you take to feel better?
  6. Did your efforts show positive results?If not,then what else can you try?
  7. How many of your fears were unfounded in reality?
  8. Did any worst case scenario actualize?

When you write down your daily experiences you are better able to recognize the negative thoughts which produce painful emotions and lead to maladaptive behavior.You will realize that the worries which were driving you nuts a week ago are no longer so frightening.This will motivate you to exercise greater self control and assimilate effective coping skills.

A hypochondriac too can benefit immensely by reviewing a week's entries.He will realize that the back pain which was tormenting him on day one gave way to gastric troubles after two days and then it was a sore throat which petrified him with thoughts of a throat cancer.He can actually read in his own words that his complaints vanish without any medication and therefore,he cannot be suffering from a severe illness.

Keeping a diary introduces an element of regularity in
your schedule.It also helps you to gain a better perspective of your condition.It clarifies your thoughts.You understand what your main problem is and can then prioritize the corrective measures accordingly.You get to recognize the triggers and learn ways of controlling them.Putting down your thoughts,recording your agony,also reduces stress.

A recap of your journal will tell you as no one else can;whether you have done anything to improve your condition or not.If it tells you that you have not been able to make any progress then that is a red flag for you to consult a specialist.If however,you find yourself improving,then rejoice;it means that your stress management skills have improved and you are finally in control of your life.

For some practical tips for curing anxiety you may read 

Image courtesy google.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

#Repetitive Failures

There are three kinds of people in this world.One,who always succeed in whatever they take up;two,who get mixed results;and three,to whom failure clings like a faithful shadow.It is not once,twice or five times that this happens;it is more like their trademark--the same results every time.Obviously it is the third kind who badly need a break.

A boy seeking employment is rejected repeatedly,a worker fails to get any promotion year after year,a young lady exits an unhappy relationship only to fall for the wrong guy again and again and a young man has been spurned so many times that he has lost all hopes of finding a life partner.The setting and the stories differ but the ending is the same--futile efforts,wasted energy and a truck-load of disappointments.

Certainly they would all like to change the tenor of their lives if they knew how.They have become set in their ways.Their way of handling life situations,their choices and responses--all stem from their motives,biases,beliefs,values,inhibitions and hidden complexes.They fail to realize that there could be a fault-line in their own behavior and unless and until they change;their life too,will not change.This escapes their notice because like many of us,they believe that they are punching all the right buttons and the fault lies elsewhere.

If you too have been experiencing repeated failures,know that the tide will not turn on it's own.You will have to reinvent your strategies.

Corrective measures
1--Stop blaming others.As long as you do this you cannot get to the root cause which is responsible for your failures.

2--Own up responsibility.Since you are the common factor in a number of goof-ups it follows that you might be at fault.

3--Undertake a retrospective analysis of your recent debacles.Where did you go wrong?Which is that trait that always lands you at failure's door?Do you choose your targets wisely?Do you have the requisite skills for what you want to accomplish?Are your strategies clear and unambiguous?When facing a challenging situation,do you take time to consider the pros and cons or do you react instinctively?Do you have sufficient confidence?Are you a pessimist who does not give his all to any venture?
When you explore your mind for the answers to these questions you will most probably realize what it is that you should do differently in order to court success.

4--Chalk out a program of self improvement.Take concrete steps to iron out the wrinkles in your behavior.Be more realistic and pragmatic in your approach.Upgrade your soft skills and also the technical know-how of your field.

All this talk about failure does not imply that failure per se is evil or demeaning.In fact it is the first step on the road to success.But a history of recurring failures definitely calls for honest introspection followed by remedial measures.

Looking at it from a spiritual angle I would say that all the obstacles and set-backs which block our way have been positioned there to teach us lessons.Just as we look for an alternative route when we confront a dead end on road;so also in life!If our existing thinking and behaving patterns fail to make an impact then it is time to revise,refurbish them.

If you are not happy with the way your life is shaping up then instead of cursing your luck,going on a pity-party or blaming xyz for your failures,it will be more beneficial to look back and find out where you faltered.Nailing that errant factor and removing it from your life will open up a new vista of success and fulfillment.

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