Saturday, January 18, 2020

Four Habits Which Perpetuate Anxiety

The reason why some people gambol through life despite the ubiquitous ups and downs while others can find nothing to cheer them cannot be ascribed to external factors alone.I have come across many people who have everything going for them:a well established household,upper middle class standard,a loving family,healthy physique and yet they seem bowed down with sorrow and worries.
They will not accost or converse with anyone.If spoken to they will merely reply with a word or two.You will never catch them smiling.Despite living an easy life they always look tired and woebegone.Yes they do have minor physical ailments like aches and pains,gastric disorders or insomnia,but if you ask them whether they have any worries,the answer will certainly be negative.That is because they themselves do not know why they are always so depressed,there is no immediate trigger at work.
Such people are common but you cannot spot them at formal or chance meetings.Only friends and family know that something is nibbling at their hearts.The problem is endogenous-not because of an external cause.The tragedy is,that they could be happier if only they could catch the culprit responsible for their angst and extirpate it from their lives.
That is why it is essential to be aware of those of our own habits which cause anxiety and which we should change in order to achieve better mental health.
Refusal to accept a crucial change
A big change which has now occurred and cannot be reversed has to be accepted.If we obsess about what was,but is now no longer there,we will torment ourselves interminably.Take the example of Deepak who has now retired from work.He just cannot gulp this depreciation in his status and the absence of any opportunity to contribute to his field of work.His job had been the sole focus of his life.Now time hangs heavily on his hands.He feels redundant after this big change in his life.
Similarly,the onset of old age,loss of kin or a serious disease are things which hit hard but cannot be reverted.It is important to accept such changes and alter our lives accordingly.Being grateful for the blessings which we still enjoy and finding new alternatives to fill the gap is the only way to keep depression at bay.
Over thinking
Broadly speaking,doers are happier than thinkers.Over thinking befuddles the latter and pushes their minds into dark worrisome spaces because over thinking rarely ends on a positive note.Cogitating about each and every individual or event can clutter the mind and fill it with worries and fears.When this becomes a second nature it culminates into pervasive anxiety.A much better way of passing the idle moments is to get busy,do something.
Low self-esteem
A person suffering from low self-worth places himself at the lowest rung and therefore does not expect anything good to come his way.What could be more distressing than this?It has been said ad infinitum,we get what we expect.Those who suffer from low self esteem desist from going out,meeting people,making friends and grabbing opportunities of self advancement.They are perturbed by the thoughts of being inferior to,and looked down upon,by other people.All this is tailor made for anxiety or depression. 
Somewhat in the same category are the pessimists.They view life through a grey lens and thus find nothing to cheer them.They will pass off even a good development as a chance happening and nothing to rave about.A small obstacle will be viewed as a huge boulder and a hiccup construed as something ominous.They ignore all the positives of their life and focus only on the darker aspects.Naturally it is hard for them to be happy and tension-free.When thinking of future,they again envisage detrimental happenings. 

Our engagements with the external world are so time consuming that we get little time to peep inwards,to learn where we are going wrong,in which way we aggravate our anxiety and how we can reduce it.A reappraisal of our temperament,habits and thinking patterns will help us to find more peace and happiness in life.
Finally,the signs of depression and anxiety:

Image from Google Search 

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Feeling Edgy?Avoid this...

No matter how well adjusted or balanced we are,there are times when we feel so agitated that we wish to be left alone to sit and mope.It is not a bad idea too.Sitting quietly,away from the hum-drum of life enables us to thrash out our problems,find solutions and gain control over our emotions.The last bit-gaining control over emotions,is extremely important because if the mind is swirling with pain,rage,hostility,jealousy or remorse we cannot behave normally or choose the best course of action.

What to do When anxiety becomes too overpowering has been discussed many a times in this blog,but this post is about what not to do when you are feeling low.The pointers given below will save you from doing anything you could regret later:

  • Avoid company to eliminate the chances of sniping at others or simply cutting them off.
  • It is natural to misunderstand others when you are feeling sad or touchy.Even simple remarks can be construed as jibes.Someone's attempt to give you space or respect your privacy can be taken as neglect or avoidance.Therefore don't make hasty judgments when you are at the end of your tether,you are likely to form erroneous opinions about people and events.This will naturally impair your relationships.
  • If you are feeling mad at someone curb the instinct to blurt out your feelings without wasting any time.You may repent it after you have had time to reconstruct that incident.A better option would be to analyse the genesis of that fiasco.
  • Don't make any hasty decisions when you are totally pooped out.Wait till you are more balanced before chalking out your next course of action.Emotions tend to cloud reason.
  • Avoid rash actions which could endanger you, like rash driving,suicidal attempts,substance abuse or binge eating.The last two only give temporary respite and do not mend the situation.Going out and having it out with an adversary too is not a good idea.
  • If possible,postpone  tasks which are too taxing and not urgent.
  • Sit down at a secluded place and focus on your problem.Try to pinpoint why you are so perturbed.Is the matter really that grave or are you making a mountain of a molehill?
Living through a taxing phase is difficult enough without us aggravating it through impulsive,irrational behavior.Therefore it is best to avoid social interactions and major decisions when one is in the throes of inner turmoil.Allowing time to pass promotes clarity and sagacity.Then is the right time to take corrective action and move forward.

Image courtesy google search.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

A Beautiful Poem By A H Clough:Read and be inspired

Say not the Struggle nought Availeth

Say not the struggle nought availeth, 
     The labour and the wounds are vain, 
The enemy faints not, nor faileth, 
     And as things have been they remain. 

If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars; 
     It may be, in yon smoke concealed, 
Your comrades chase e'en now the fliers,
     And, but for you, possess the field. 

For while the tired waves, vainly breaking 
     Seem here no painful inch to gain, 
Far back through creeks and inlets making, 
     Comes silent, flooding in, the main. 

And not by eastern windows only, 
     When daylight comes, comes in the light, 
In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly, 
     But westward, look, the land is bright.

Poem taken from google search,thanks.