Saturday, May 23, 2020

Now Where Did I Put My Happiness?

I remember very well when I was young,during my school going years,it used to reside in two places-my home and my school.

Then I grew up.The friends left one by one and horror of horrors-even my parents left for their eternal abode.It was difficult to spy my happiness during that time,but my children and grandchildren filled the gap.

By and by they too got caught up with their lives and I had to look for it at close quarters.Where was it near me?I found it in the rush of kitty parties and socialization.

This was satisfying no doubt,but old age pitched in to obstruct the flow.Old age and the quirks of those we socialized with.Going to parties,communicating with them was no longer pure happiness.It was an amalgam of positive and negative emotions.

Anyhow,I prodded myself to evolve and be more accepting.But where was my happiness?I had misplaced it again.

Intensive introspection revealed that if I wanted it to remain always with me I had to look for it within me,to latch it on to my thoughts and activities-activities which did not require external support.

So friends,I picked up occupations which give me optimum satisfaction and adhered to them.Thankfully I have a plethora of hobbies-things which keep me usefully occupied and also grant a sense of achievement.In the ultimate analysis it is best to be self reliant,to peg your happiness to your own self.The externals dissipate one by one.Keep it where it cannot be stolen.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

A Four Fold Path to #Happiness

We all want to be happy.All our activities are designed towards that end.Yet this elusive state of mind sometimes fails to oblige.Scientists say that there is an inbound capacity for happiness in every human being.Our observations too,affirm that some people are always brimming with joy while some others are generally morose and pessimistic.Events which the former would have taken in their stride are sometimes given by latter as the cause of their despondence.

I think our personal attributes-in addition of course to our life experiences- play a major role in deciding whether we are happy or miserable.Let me share with you four habits which,if incorporated,will enable us to maintain a cool state of mind even when things do not go our way.Here goes:---

Adopt a rational attitude towards life: 
Life is never static,it keeps moving-and changing.We are effused with joy one day and down in the dumps the next.When misfortune comes after a good phase it causes a lot of heartache.But we fail to realize that everybody has to go through both kinds of experiences and we are not someone special that we should be spared the thorns and showered with roses.

We can not,and should not expect the good times to last for ever.That would be unreasonable as well as insidious,because what we expect from life,what we think we ought to have been blessed with but are not getting;is enough to leave us disgruntled and unhappy even when things are pretty good by any standard.Reasonable expectations protect us from breaking down at every minor or moderate disappointment.  

Be Flexible:
Life has a mind of its own.It will not follow a script written by you.An ambitious project could bite dust,a new relationship may turn out to be the opposite of what you had expected,a dear one could pass away or a disease may change your lifestyle for ever.Disappointments pop up unannounced and one has to rebuild ones life around them.If a cherished dream fails to actualize replace it with something which has better chances of fructifying,nurture a fresh one.  

Flexibility alone can help you to accept the inevitable and forge a way of adapting to the new scene.Look for the positive aspects of a challenging situation.See how you can use them to your advantage and carry on with hope and enthusiasm.

Curtail Overthinking and Rumination:
Cogitating about each and everything fills the mind with a quagmire of doubts,suspicions,worries and fears:Not a happy condition,you will agree.Overthinking creates problems where none exist.It blocks action and can even spoil your relationships by generating unjustifiable biases about others. 

Ruminating about an existent problem or a recent fiasco is beneficial only to the extent that it assists you to find a solution.If carried on indefinitely,it unleashes a whirlwind of negative emotions which deepen anxiety.If you want to be happy curtail overthinking and rumination.

Practice Gratitude:
There is no denying the fact that some people have little cause for cheer in their lives.It could even be a prolonged phase for some.Happiness would be a tall order for them.But we all have to make the best use of what has been given to us in order to conserve our mental health.One way of doing this is to think of the positive features of our lives.This could be in the form of a good relationship,a roof over our heads,an able body,a sound mind,or that competence to fight against odds and yet keep whole.None of these can be devalued.A feeling of gratitude for the blessings we enjoy prevents the picture from becoming blackish grey.It mitigates anxiety.

We cannot control what life throws at us but we can construct a kind of buffer against those volleys and minimize their ill effects.

Saturday, March 14, 2020

The Ebbing Tide

The jabs and jibes
ultimately subside
an ebbing tide
makes one wise

who can give me
sorrow or pain
I only got
what was ordained 

bitterness or rancor
no more pinch
but from future
I sometimes flinch

the road ahead
is not so clear
murky waters
burgeon fears

the future however
was always dim
come what may
I shall win.